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7wanderingpaws · 4 years ago

Text

Mess We Made - second (m)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, university AU (this chapter only), fluff, ANGST

Words: 12K

WARNINGS: language, unprotected sex, terrible family relations, stalking

Quick A/N: Goodness. This is long. I need to sleep! ENJOY! And thank you for patiently waiting ❤

tags: @byunfirstlady @blackon @puppyeoliepop @in3vitably3v3 @mangobaek @bobohumyonlyboo @wooya1224 @exortedgoods @gureuma ( if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)

>> A very special shoutout to @byunfirstlady because she rocks and deserves all the best! ><

parts: first -- second -- third -- fourth (last)

Mess We Made, part 2

Gentle puffs of hot air were hitting the shell of your ear as he was whispering something to you. The tip of his nose was poking you in the side of your cheek and you giggled, squirming away from him but his hand under your shirt and on your hip were preventing you from doing so.

“Where are you off to,” he whispered teasingly again, smiling widely as he bit your earlobe gently while his arm tightened around you. He wasn’t letting you squirm away that easily. “It’s too early.”

“You literally didn’t let us sleep the whole night,” you whispered back, still shimmying under his wandering hand. “It’s basically time to get up and my eyes are stinging from having no rest,” you pouted, blinking them a few times to prove a point. You were lying on your back while Baekhyun was propped on one elbow, hovering over you. Baekhyun’s shirt was the only piece of clothing on you. While he was completely naked, it seemed to be his second nature by now. After so much time together, his personality and preferences were more than familiar to you.

“Because I want to enjoy you as much as I can. And because I don’t want you to go,” he whined quietly and you giggled again, turning on your side to face him, hiding in his chest. “I really don’t want you to go, love. What do I do?”

You kissed his chest and looked up at him with a small smile. “I won’t go then.”

Baekhyun returned the smile but there was something in his eyes- that something giving you slight uneasiness. He was hesitating. Usually, he would immediately agree and it wasn’t like he had to beg you to stay; if anything, you had to beg him to kick you out because there was no way you would willingly leave his place and his warmth by your own choice.

“But I will have to go,” you added, verbalizing the sentence he secretly wished to hear but wouldn’t voice it. “Since my parents are waiting for me.” You didn’t give two damns about your parents. You really, really didn’t. But Baekhyun did. So you should, too.

Baekhyun caressed your hip bone, his hand sliding over your tummy where he tickled you, causing you to squirm once again under his touch. “I will meet you later, if you want,” he said, smiling when he saw your lips widely stretched in a silent laugh. “We can go to the coffee shop and be a little productive.”

You groaned, hiding your face in his chest again. Baekhyun let his hand slide over your back, enjoying the warmth your skin was emitting. “I don’t want to study. I want to cuddle you and kiss you and just feel you.”

Baekhyun’s chuckle was quiet but so handsome. He kissed your neck lovingly, puckering his lips three, four times. His lips were so smooth and soft; you wished you could stop the time now and live in the moment forever. “You felt me the whole night, didn’t you?” he rasped.

“Besides,” you added and leaned back a bit to look at his affectionate gaze. “We have some free time now before university starts.” His messy hair was falling over his eyes and you hummed, sliding your fingers through the strands, brushing them back and revealing his forehead. “Let’s make the most out of that. Just you and me.”

The air in the room felt warm. Whether it was from the activities you did the whole night or because you simply couldn’t not blush under his hooded eyes, you wouldn’t know. But when he leaned in to kiss you, unable to hold back any longer, you knew it was simply Baekhyun’s presence that was keeping you hot inside. With his hand on your naked skin, with his tongue teasing your lips or just a simple smile was what kept you burning hot, passion swallowing you and blinding you at the same time. If you were to keep walking, it was because of him. Thanks to him.

There were no cars parked in front of your house as you typed in the code for the tall wooden gate. Usually, there was some guest present but it was unusually peaceful. It almost made you excited because you naively believed your parents wouldn’t be home. Them not being home equaled time to yourself and more time to think through how you would approach the upcoming (dreader) discussion.

Stupid marriage, you thought unhappily as you entered the house. Making a beeline towards the kitchen, you were surprised yet again to find it empty. Wasn't it almost lunch time? Where were the maids? And the cooks?

It was all too strange which made you walk around, what was an obviously empty, house in order to find someone. Sure, your house was huge, and getting easily lost in it was a common issue for guests who were not hosted well, but this was beyond everything you expected.

Making the final decision to check your father’s office, you stopped in front of the sturdy wooden door. No sounds were coming from there, but the wood was too thick anyways. Clearing your throat gently, you opened the door and walked in the spacious room. It was also vacant, his chair turned to the side as if someone stood up from it in a hasty manner. Some documents were scattered around his otherwise well-organized table, so there wasn't anything out of ordinary until you felt a presence behind you, and you turned. You let out a shocked gasp when you saw your mother’s strict, emotionless face while standing straight with her arms crossed on her chest. She was, as per usual, well-dressed, her make-up one shade too light for her darker skin making her seem almost lifeless. You shuddered, but before you could react, she snapped.

“Do you like what you see? Empty house, no maids to run around you nor your family to welcome you?”

This time, you were really startled by her words. “What?”

“This is what will happen if you continue disobeying us, dear daughter. There won't be anyone to tend to your needs, no one to cook for you, to clean for you, not even me and your father will be there if you continue meeting that boy.”

You snorted, disbelief written all of your face as you sent daggers with your eyes. She dared to attack and mention Baekhyun again? “What is wrong with you-”

“Where were you last night until now?”

Scrambling to compose your still shocked state, you muttered: “You know where I was.”

She let out a humorless laugh and you noticed her jaw clenching. “What do you think you are doing? What were you even doing?” She reached out to the collar of your dress and yanked it sideways, revealing your collarbones along with your shoulder. Even though you didn't see exactly what she was looking at, you knew very well what she found there. You felt your heart jump in fear.

“Fooling around with him in bed?” she grumbled and snapped her cold eyes at you. “Letting him mark you? You little bitch.” The back of her hand landed with your cheek, the sting bringing tears to your eyes as your head snapped to the side, your hair covering half of your face from the strong blow. “How stupid must you be to be this irresponsible?!”

You held the abused cheek, biting your lip hard to prevent you from letting out a sob. You turned at her. “How dare you! I told you I will not comply and let that other man touch me-”

Her hand landed again on your cheek; the other one. “Wrong answer.”

You stepped away from her before she could hit you again, now letting the tears fall from your eyes. “You're crazy, mother,” you whispered, “you and father are both crazy.”

“That other man is your future husband,” she seethed, making a menacing step closer to you which prompted you to step back. “And he won't accept you cheating behind his back with some kid-”

“Stop talking about him like he is a no one!” you screeched loudly, losing your calm, surprising your mother and yourself in the process. Seeing your mother was finally silenced, you added: “He is the one I love, mum! I already said I will marry the guy, but you cannot take Baekhyun away from me! He is the only good thing I have in my life,” you cried. Your tears were scorching hot on your already reddened cheeks, just like Baekhyun's warmth that you were supposed to leave behind.

“The only good thing?” she repeated, disgusted. “After everything we have provided for you - you always had food and luxury! The least you can do to repay us is to do as we say!” she shouted, swishing her hands in the air. “I didn't even tell you off when you kept bringing bad grades home. I didn't bother. After all, you went to a useless, regular high school with no reputation. But right now, when I am telling you to do as I say, you decide to go against me?! I won't tolerate it! You will break up with him, and you will marry Mr Kwon. I made arrangements already, and he won’t impregnate you until you are done with university.”

Your gasp was loud, overwhelming the both of you, but your mother was faster to brush it off and continue with her nonsense. Her words were like a cut of a dagger; precise, because she knew your weak points, and very painful, because her goal was to wound you and eventually destroy you, leaving you in pain that would make you surrender to her orders.

“Impregnate?” you finally let out, voice trembling. “What the actual hell! I TOLD YOU. I am not letting him touch me.”

“Well,” she pressed an ugly, wrinkly smile, “you will have to. We need an heir. A boy.”

Sick. You were sick to your stomach at the idea of Mr Kwon smiling at you, let alone touch you at your most private parts and let him take you. The idea was maddening, and you desperately wanted to pull at your hair, hoping it would be a good enough sign for your mother to understand you didn't want to be part of an arranged marriage.

“Mum,” you whimpered finally, letting more tears fall as you connected your hands in front of your chest, pleading. “Mum, please. Don't do this. I will… I will do anything else you want me to, but please… You can't simply let him sleep with me.”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You're acting as if you haven't been bedded already,” she said through gritted teeth. She was so disgusted by you, you couldn't help but take the hurt. Family was supposed to support you, be warm and kind and helpful, but her and your father were anything but. However, it never ceased to hurt you; the way she looked impersonal towards you, and right now, disgusted. As if you were some trash; someone unworthy of love and understanding.

“Please,” you whispered, closing your eyes for a moment.

“Wash up,” she grumbled resolutely before her eyes fell on the still exposed shoulder, “and hide that stupid mark with some make-up. Mr Kwon will be over for dinner-”

“NO!” you screeched, stomping your foot. “I WILL NOT MEET HIM!”

“Unless you want me to beat you up until your pretty-for-nothing face is marked just like he marked your neck, then I advise you to go. Wash. Up.” She turned around and walked away with resolute steps.

There was a crack within you; it literally felt like a knife slashing through your weak organ that was your heart.

“You’re cruel, mother!” you shouted after her, despite her not paying you any more attention, and you ran out of the office and up the wide staircase that would lead you to the only place you could hide in. Your room.

Shaky hands grabbed at the hair tie, yanking it out of your hair and throwing it across the spacious room. It was followed by your dress, also thrown to the other side while you stomped to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you. Its surface was cold on the skin of your naked back as you slid down, sobbing.

How many times have you been in this position already? How many times have you cried like this, despair pooling in the pit of your stomach, hoping, praying that things would somehow magically turn over and you’d feel some sort of relief? That relief never came and your misery would only worsen. Maybe it was exactly because of your high hopes, you thought as your sobbing slowly ceased, leaving you with only quiet whimpers and a throbbing headache. Maybe it was because, at the end of the day, you’d have Baekhyun who would bring out all the best and kindest and the most positive parts out of your suffering soul.

The thought of him made you only weep again, but you became determined as well. For him, you’d do anything. Anything.

He said to obey.

And you would.

Just before the main guest would arrive, your mother pushed a familiar pink gift bag into your hand. “You didn’t even open this ever since you decided to grace us with your presence,” she pressed through her gritted teeth, holding back from raising her voice. As much as she wished to smack you, she also didn’t want to cause a ruckus just before Mr Kwon would arrive. She needed you to look your best, which you did. “Open it and make sure to mention the gift,” she ordered and took a sharp look-over at your dressed up figure.

As promised, you hid all the hickeys Baekhyun left on you blinded by his passion and desire last night. The polite black dress was hugging your curves just in the gentlest ways, not too much but still leaving a good image of what you were hiding underneath. The colour of your stockings was of your skin, but with a glistening touch, making your legs look more desirable. Hair politely combed, wavy at the ends and tucked behind your ears. Perfect.

“Finally you know how to dress up properly to your age,” mumbled your mother. When you didn’t respond and averted your gaze to the ground, she hesitated before heaving out a sigh. “He’ll be here soon,” she turned around to leave your room. “Prepare.”

You were surprised when your mother shut the door quietly behind herself, giving you the necessary time to actually get ready and collect your thoughts.

The bag, just as yesterday, felt heavy in your fingers and you decided to finally take out the small, cream-coloured box, most probably promising a pricey gift. Sitting down at the edge of your bed, you quickly opened it to find a pretty set of earrings and a necklace. Earrings consisted of two pearls while the necklace was a simple silver necklace with a single pearl in the middle.

Noticing their unusual shape, you could tell right away that they were real pearls. Each piece of irregular shape made the actual stone throw all kinds of colors of the rainbow. It was beautiful, it really was, but not something you’d expect from someone you had never met. It strengthened the idea that what was about to go down in the future was, in fact, real. He was pursuing you.

Sighing tiredly, you felt your eyes burning up once again but was abruptly stopped when your phone vibrated on the vanity where you left it. Quickly moving to take it, you instantly smiled when you saw Baekhyun’s picture and his caller ID on display.

“Baby,” you sighed breathily, eager to hear his voice.

First you heard his handsome chuckle before he spoke: “My princess. Just wanted to check on you. I told you to text me once you’re home,” he scolded gently.

You bit your lip before quickly releasing it, remembering you had lipstick on. “Sorry I got… busy,” you murmured eventually. Not sure whether to tell him about the dinner, you decided to keep quiet. If he heard your uncertainty, he’d know something was up right away.

He hummed. “There was no trouble, right?” His voice was careful, hesitant. He always trusted you but he also knew you would lie if he asked.

You lied anyway. “Of course. You know I’m not that easily breakable, right? There is no need to worry, Baekhyun.”

He sighed. “I always worry about you.” And about your family hurting you. He kept that to himself though. “But as long as I hear your voice and know your fine, it’s more than enough.”

You closed your eyes, desperately wishing you could be with him, in his bed, while he studied and you’d observe him. Anything would be better than the situation you were in now. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” he was fast to reply. “Always. I missed you even before you left this morning.”

You giggled, covering your mouth even though no one saw you. “I’ll gladly sneak out tonight.”

“No. Stay home. Don’t want you getting into trouble-“

“You know I’d do it even with you disapproving.”

“Oh, I know you would, sweetheart. I know.”

“I’d do anything for you, Baekhyun,” you whispered, “in a heartbeat.”

He was silent for a moment. You weren’t sure why he wasn’t replying, but then again, your words bore quite a powerful meaning. “And I’d do anything to protect you and keep you happy.”

Burning tears came to life when you heard his low voice, sending shocks down your body. “Then never leave me.”

Silence again.

“Baekhyun,” you muttered, “promise me you won’t leave me.”

Why wasn’t he replying as fast as he did just a few moments ago? Were you asking for too much? Were you crossing boundaries? That made you scoff. You and him had such a strong and intimate relationship, there was no space for any boundaries. Your relationship seemed to be limitless.

“I won’t leave you, love,” was his answer finally. “I love you too fucking much for me to leave you.”

“Then that’s enough,” you sighed shakily, knowing it was time for you to hang up and face the dreaded. “As long as I know you love me and won’t leave me, all will be well.”

The silence in the dining room was one of the worst things your life had put you through. The chewing sounds, clinking of the cutlery along with slurping were the only noises that you heard physically, while your mind was about to explode with your thoughts.

Mr Kwon was sitting directly opposite you, to your misfortune, while your parents were seated in their usual spots, your father being at the head of the table. It was almost the absolute end of you when the servers put octopuses on the table as the main dish. Shooting them a horrified glare, they could only widen their eyes at you, silently asking for your forgiveness when they knew octopuses made you puke your guts out. Just the sight triggered your gag reflex and you ended up swallowing the rice through the wrong pipe, causing you to start a spree of aggressive coughing. Definitely not lady-like.

“Oh my, look at you,” chided your mother who was next to you, tapping your back with good enough power. “You eat too fast, darling,” she said knowingly and when you turned to glare at her, she only chuckled, taking in your red face.

“Maybe have octopuses,” suggested Mr Kwon with a chuckle as he reached for one right away. “They certainly won't make you suffocate.”

Your presence alone is suffocating enough, you thought bitterly but made sure to break a smile to show respect even though it was killing you. Quickly reaching for a jar with water, you wanted to pour yourself some very much needed liquid when you saw the man's hand in your line of vision, and he poured you water.

“Eat carefully, miss,” he murmured, giving you the slightest of honest smiles.

You bowed your head in gratitude before gulping down. It gave you the relief you desperately seeked, but the sight of the octopuses was creating an uncomfortable bulge in your stomach.

“So, now that we enjoyed the main dishes, we shall talk about some business, what do you say, Mr Kwon?” suggested your father in a friendly manner, connecting his fingers as he rested his elbows on the table.

Mr Kwon nodded. “Oh, yes, we shall do that. The meal was terrific, by the way.”

“Thank you, I will make sure to tell the kitchen staff,” smiled brightly your mother, hiding her grin behind her hand. You tried not to shudder at the tense, over-polite atmosphere, but on the other hand you were dying to find out more about your fate. With Baekhyun on your mind, you braced yourself, ready to fight for whatever was to come.

Your father gave you a brief glance before facing the expectant Mr Kwon. “Well, I suppose we should set a wedding date. Given we discussed most of the business part, we should now focus on you and our daughter.”

“Yes, yes. I would like to suggest marriage once she enters university,” proposed Mr Kwon importantly and you felt blood leaving your face immediately. “As you know, I would also like to get to know her better and I believe that if we will start our marriage early on, we both can earn ourselves some valuable time before starting a family. I also do not want her to steer away from me too much.”

No. No, no, no. “Actually, may I say-”

“No, you may not,” muttered your mother, squeezing your thigh under the table. She quickly looked at Mr Kwon who had a questioning look. “Would you like the ceremony when her first semester starts? You see, she is a good student, so I'd like her not to steer away from her studies too much.”

Surprised, you stole a glance at your mother, but she was facing your future husband. Your heartbeat was frantic in your chest and you swore you would pass out at the idea of your mother trying to protect you in some twisted manner, despite her fighting you like a wild bull.

“What do you suggest, then?” asked Mr Kwon, his attention fully on your mother.

She took a deep breath and her hand left your thigh, leaving behind a warm, but uncomfortable feeling on your skin. “Marriage after graduation.”

The man in question raised his eyebrows slowly, thinking over the suggested idea. Meticulously, he scrutinized your mother before his eyes fell on your wavering gaze. It was almost scorching, and you couldn't help but look down at your lap where your hands were politely connected. Noticing the sickeningly white skin of your knuckles, you didn't realize you were squeezing them together in order to fight the nerves.

“Alright,” he rasped eventually, causing you to raise your head in hope. “Under some conditions, though.”

Your heart died a little bit at that, but it didn't matter. You had four years ahead. Four years of freedom. With Baekhyun. “I am to do what my initial plan was,” he started, “and that is to get to know my future wife well. I do respect her needs, however I would like to visit her on various occasions and take her out, too. She shouldn't be a newbie to the house where I live in, so I demand to have at least one night with her-”

“Oh, Mr Kwon,” chimed in your mother nonchalantly, while your father shot her a warning look, “let me remind you that we would like our daughter to finish her bachelor degree on time. Which means we wouldn't want unwelcome pregnancies or such.”

Your throat went dry and you almost whimpered at the horrific idea.

“Are you suggesting no physical contact until after marriage?”

“Excuse me,” you said in a tiny tone, withering under the adults' strict gazes, “but this is my life and my body we talk about here.” You bravely looked at Mr Kwon's face. “As much as I understand and respect your request, I do not wish to do anything more until we know each other well enough,” you hesitated, before adding, “until I feel ready. You know yourself that I am still young and have a desire to live a little bit before I will settle down with you.”

“By living a little bit I hope you do not mean finding other boyfriends,” he cut in, the slightest of scoffs tinting his voice. “From this moment on, you are to tend to me only.”

“Actually-”

“Actually,” this time your mother cut in, her hand back on your thigh, wordlessly silencing you, “we understand your request.” She paused and you held your breath. “We agree, of course. She shouldn't be seeing anyone else besides you.”

“And has she been seeing anyone else before?” quipped Mr Kwon, leaning back in his chair, his stance somehow lazy. “Does she have experience? Has she been bedded before?”

You winced and your head snapped to your father, your eyes pleading with him to do something.

“I'd rather not…” your father trailed off, obvious discomfort on his face, “talk about this. We promised you our daughter and we are willing to make the wedding ceremony once she graduates in four years. Until then, you are to pursue her,” he decided, authority now dripping from his voice. “Feel free to contact her, but our conditions are as I stated just now. Marriage after graduation. Otherwise, we comply with your requests to be with her. She won't be seeing anyone else. Do not worry, Mr Kwon.”

Mr Kwon was watching you and that scared you. Was the fact that you were in a relationship written all over your face? You hoped not, even though you desperately wanted to tell him that yes, indeed, you had a boyfriend. You already had someone who occupied every possible space in your heart and in your mind.

“Alright,” said the guest, “may I suggest a little talk face to face here with our young miss?”

“But of course!” agreed your mother without hesitation and in no time, her and your father were gone, both of them shooting you warning glares. If only they could support you for once. Was that too much to ask for? Though you had to be honest. You were satisfied that you still had something you could hold for yourself.

“Miss,” Mr Kwon snapped you out of your thoughts. He stood up and walked over to you, motioning for you to stand up as well. You hastily did, quickly adjusting your skirt, which didn't go unnoticed by his sharp eyes. Feeling your cheeks reddening, you didn't look up.

He was quiet for a little while longer before softly muttering: “My gift looks very pretty on you. I have to say, I feel baffled that you decided to wear the pearls for me.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, but you still refused to look up at him. It was anything but for him.

“I assume you must be startled by the events, but I assure you I won't harm you. In the adult world, it is only normal to follow natural instincts though,” he murmured again as he made a step closer. “And you are definitely a breath-takingly beautiful young woman.” Suppressing the shivers, you nodded to show you were listening. He chuckled lowly. “No need to be shy around me. I prefer my women brave and confident. Like they know what they want.”

You raised your head now, reciprocating the eye contact. “In that case - I am still eighteen, Mr Kwon. I would appreciate it if you respect that.”

“I didn't even do anything,” he laughed again, shaking his head, taking your words as a joke. “But I like it. Okay. You got me. I will ask your parents for your telephone number and from now on,” he paused and leaned in a little closer, his strong cologne hitting your nose, “we shall deal with everything privately. Just the two of us.” He leaned back, checking your face for some reaction. You were shaken. “Alright?”

You nodded, wanting it to be quickly over. “Alright.”

“I'll make sure no one else will roam around you, miss. From today on, you are mine.”

It was yet another of the many times that you cried in your bed. Guilty feelings eating you away, the creeping sense of disgust at everything that you had to listen to and become part of sooner than later.

You were trying to think your situation over - how you could trick Mr Kwon to make him believe you weren't seeing anyone. In a way, you were thankful your mother and father never mentioned you already having a boyfriend as much as you wanted to shout it to the whole world. It was better to keep Baekhyun a secret which was basically one step to being in a relationship you didn't want to be. Baekhyun already became a forbidden fruit and you wondered what would happen if Mr Kwon found out.

You never told Baekhyun what was the deal between your parents and Mr Kwon. As much as he knew you were secretive and he tried to be the same Baekhyun as before, you couldn’t help the lurking feeling of your relationship's dynamics suddenly changing.

It shifted.

Unfortunately, in the wrong direction.

It’s been almost four years now that you’ve been attending university, meaning the sacred time to part was coming up, and you saw your boyfriend less and less. Even if the weather was nice and all you’ve asked was five minutes of his precious time, Baekhyun slowly but surely refused to give it to you. He would make sure to make it up later but the slightest hint of distance was palpable in his eyes and his touches.

In the beginning, you still enjoyed each other as much as you used to. He would bring you along to parties and show everyone you were together. You would bring him along to your get-togethers and make sure all the ladies knew he was yours. You slept at his place whenever you could and you were still just as crazy about each other as you used to be.

It was only once Mr Kwon started to take you out, asking for dinner dates and sometimes even making unannounced visits, was when your relationship started to break. You hated that word dearly; to break. You hated to use that word in the same sentence with Baekhyun's name. But you got the hunch that Baekhyun was suspicious. He knew something was up, he was not dumb. Suddenly, it was you rejecting his advances, it was you busy and with little time to spare. So you made sure he wouldn't get the hint and masked everything. Mr Kwon was not allowed to give you unannounced visits and you had to meet him somewhere far away from campus (it was convenient since he always treated you to expensive, tasteless food in Gangnam).

Over those few years, you and Baekhyun developed a routine; at the beginning of each semester, both of you exchanged your timetables. But in your final year, despite you knowing about Baekhyun's whereabouts, he would either stay later in school or hang out with his classmates. Thankfully, he took you many times with him - to lunches and dinners and get-togethers. Many of his friends there had girlfriends and you were never surprised that Baekhyun managed to win over almost everyone in his year. Because even if you were there as his girlfriend, his hand on your thigh to prove it, there were still so many girls, younger and older, swallowing him up with dark, hungry eyes.

Just where did the good old days go? In the good old days, you would be inseparable. There was no one who could stay between you two, even if it was your evil parents. He would kiss you, you would hug him, he would caress you and you would lay your head on his shoulder. You’d sneak out to see him, and he would create a new, safe home for you even if it meant just for a night. You risked so much to be with him; even now when you were under a scrutinizing watch of Mr Kwon, you’d always go and try to see Baekhyun.

So why was Baekhyun acting like this? With every passing day, he would drift away from you and you felt like you were trying to grasp onto him desperately, preventing him from leaving your side. Baekhyun was always by your side. He belonged there.

You were in your final year now, the beginning of a brand new, and last, semester when you decided to sign up for a fashion design class. You weren’t sure why you did it; the constant doodling as a way to get rid of your negative emotions, you grew to love grabbing a pencil and just let the sharp tip of it slide on the crisp surface of the paper. Fashion was something you always had to excel at given your reputation so when you found yourself sketching some pretty lingerie, you decided it wouldn’t be a bad move to attend a class that you actually liked, unlike the rest.

“But why does it have to be in the evening?” whined Baekhyun who was walking you to the seminar room. His hair was messy and it wasn’t because of your fingers. Apparently he had been in the library since 6am.

You sighed, and hugged your books closer to your chest, the chilly autumn evening catching you unprepared. You loved the deep red dress you wore today, but not only you were cold, but the heels were killing your feet too. “You’re always busy, Baekhyun. Why is it suddenly so difficult for you to accept that I will be busy one evening out of seven?”

He went silent and you knew you hit a sensitive spot. “You’re right.”

That made you feel… disappointed. He wouldn’t even try to fight anymore.

“Let’s talk after your class,” he suggested when you stopped in front of the classroom. There was some movement inside, most probably the professor preparing the materials for the seminar.

Baekhyun’s words left you feeling uneasy. “About what?”

He looked at you but his gaze was unreadable. He didn’t smile but didn’t frown either, until you saw the slightest clench of his jaw before he relaxed it. “About us.”

You instantly had tears in your eyes but you pressed your lips together, praying you wouldn’t start wailing now. Despite that, you shivered. “Maybe another time,” you tried.

“Sweetheart,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I really need to talk to you.”

“So when you want to talk to me I need to have time but when I was chasing you the past years, you couldn’t even give me five goddamn minutes of your precious time!”

He was taken aback at the raise of your voice but didn’t comment on it, nor did he act upon it. “I think you know that we have too many unresolved issues.”

“I don’t want to solve them,” you replied stubbornly.

He frowned. “What? What’s the matter with you?” he asked, exasperated. “You’ve been acting so strange,” he added, saying your name with so much seriousness it made you shiver again. “All I want is to talk.”

“But you will break up with me,” you said, voice low now and your chin trembling. “I know it. And I don’t want to.”

“No,” he was fast to whisper, shaking his head as he stepped closer to you, “I don’t want to break up with you, angel,” he whispered into your ear now, his hands gently cradling your head as he hugged you to him.

You whimpered, dropping your books so you could squeeze his slim waist and hide your face in his chest. His sweater had a pleasant scent of his detergent and it made you feel instantly at home. “Then what is it,” you gritted your teeth to prevent yourself from sobbing.

He sighed, knowing how he must have shattered you over the time. He grew distant, he was aware of that. But Baekhyun was also a perfectionist. He had to excel in classes, he had to make sure he knew what he was doing in order to become a qualified doctor as he always dreamed about. However, him being meticulous with his studies made him lose someone who was very special to him - you. “I miss you,” he whispered. “I just want to make sure we are in the clear. I want to spend more time with you. But I want to talk.”

“I’ve been missing you for so long,” you mumbled, ignoring the few students who were passing by and entering your classroom. He had a sad look on his face and you weren’t sure you wanted to know why. “I’ll come to your place. Will the other guys be out?”

He grasped your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I don’t know. I don’t care. Just head straight to my place, alright?” he said, attempting to smile.

Baekhyun was sharing an apartment with his friends just across the campus so it was convenient for him and for you. Even though they could be annoying sometimes, they knew not to play around you too much, given how ignorant you were towards anyone that wasn’t a Byun Baekhyun.

You nodded and Baekhyun hummed in acknowledgment, leaning in to kiss your forehead. You sighed, satisfied.

“Enjoy your class,” he murmured, his lips still brushing your skin. “I'll be waiting for you.”

Before he could let go of your hand and walk away, you pulled him towards you, ignoring his questioning gaze and stood on your tiptoes, pressing your lips together. You felt him heave out a soft breath before he cradled your face and angled you up to have better access as he teased you with his tongue.

Someone cleared their throat out of nowhere and you gasped, disattaching from Baekhyun's lips a smooch that made you blush. He let go of you when he zoomed in on someone and you turned to find a young professor standing in the doorway to the seminar room. “Are you joining my class?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Quickly bowing to him, you nodded, apologizing as you made your way to the classroom. Before the doors could completely close, you looked at Baekhyun who gave you a supportive smile.

You could smell cigarettes in the corridor as you stood in front of Baekhyun's apartment door. It wasn't the nicest building; some weird people lurking here and there, but you knew he worked hard to earn the place so you never told him how you actually felt about the place.

You typed in the code, letting yourself enter and quickly took off your heels, chasing the very much needed relief in your aching feet.

“You came.” Baekhyun appeared from his room, a big grey hoodie and black pants looking extra comfortable and cuddly on him.

He walked over to you and this time he initiated the small kiss. “How was class?” he asked, taking your bag from your hand as he moved to the kitchen. He was about to lift it up when your sketchbook fell out, the pages messily opening and splattering on the floor.

“It went very well,” you answered, watching him slowly pick up the sketch book, his eyes drinking in what he was seemingly missing out on the past year. Your sketches.

“Did you…” he trailed off, swallowing before looking up at you, “did you draw this? Did you come up with this?”

“Well, I had to present something to the teacher so that I wouldn't look too lost in his fashion class,” you smiled cheekily, sensing the unease Baekhyun was suddenly full of. He let his eyes follow you as you stepped towards him, taking the sketchbook from his frozen hand. “This is my personal favourite,” you said in a low voice, turning the pages until there were no more left. The last page was the only sketch you didn't show to your professor. Baekhyun was silent, but his eyes were sharp. They flickered from your face to the lingerie sketches that you were showing him.

Slowly, he took a deep breath, eyes scanning the figure that was resembling yours unlike the regular ones that you sketched before, for anyone's eyes. This one was meant for Baekhyun's eyes only and he was assured of it when he saw the small “unlock, bbh” under the sketch.

You knew Baekhyun loved wearing black colours despite his favourite one being red. So you decided to combine the dark with a deep, sultry red that oozed sexiness and confidence. Lace was so thinly sketched, it almost seemed like your skin was tattered with it. You never liked wearing thongs, so you made sure the underwear would be comfortable for you, instead filling the space with lace and silk.

It was a luxurious piece that you were confident you could actually wear one day if you would be determined enough to bring it to life.

“You see,” you started when silence was too much to bear, the growing tension made you feel all sorts of strong emotions, “I made it like a game for you, Baekhyun.” You took his index finger and pointed it at the paper where your left shoulder bra strap was drawn. “You won't unlock me until you find out one crucial point of this set. If you do, you'll unlock the entire outfit,” you told him, your voice low. “And what do I mean by unlock?” you asked, letting go of his finger and he looked at you from his side. “You'll get to see me in my whole glory. Just a simple click can give you access to everything that I am.”

Baekhyun was thinking about your words even though it had been a while since he spoke. Eventually, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control something you weren't aware of. “Is this what you did in your class?”

You snorted a laugh. “No, Baekhyun. This is just for you. My present to you,” you smiled at the idea. “One day.”

“How can you be so fucking sexy inside and out?” he grumbled and with one arm swiftly brought you to his chest, his hand tightly gripping your waist. His eyes flickered all over your features, taking in the make-up and the red lipstick that you knew he adored so much. How could he let himself ignore you when you were a full meal, a huge prey for any man with bad and good intentions? How could he not appreciate you every single day and tell you that he loved you and wanted to make love to you every single time he saw you?

You smiled up at him and he lost it. Despite the trouble and negative tension he created, you still dared to smile at him?

He claimed your lips, catching you by surprise but you moaned instantly when you felt his hands drag downwards over your hips and bum until reaching the backside of your thighs. Both of you were so familiar with each other's actions, that Baekhyun didn't have to tell you to jump anymore. You did so without his order and when he had you in his arms, you felt him right at your center instantly. You gasped, reacting to his body as you tried to shimmy your middle over him and he grunted into the kiss.

“Jesus, what are you doing to me, woman,” he breathed, his lips glistening with your mixed saliva before cradling your cheek with one hand, bringing you in for another dirty kiss.

You whined, growing wet right away. Squeezing his waist with your legs, he clumsily put you on the counter, accidentally knocking over some cups, but neither of you cared. Baekhyun was kissing your jaw, slowly making his way to your ear into which he whispered: “I need to fuck you right now.” He bit your earlobe and you moaned, wanting to close your legs but his hands were already pushing them apart. Your dress hiked up to your hips, revealing your underwear and you fumbled with his pants, your hands already inside to bring him out. Upon touching him, you gasped, looking at your boyfriend. He was hard.

“It's what you do to me all the damn time,” he whispered, panting when he felt your light touch. “I told you years ago, didn't I?” he smirked and pushed your hand away, instead his hands grabbing you under your knees and yanking you to the edge so he could have better access. You whimpered, clenching around nothing when he pushed the crotch of your panties aside and felt his middle finger teasing you by letting it dip but not quite enter. “So wet,” he breathed, looking at your blushed face. “Let’s dive, shall we?” he murmured, grabbing himself. You circled your arms around his neck, face buried in his neck as you felt him poke you. Lubricating himself he made sure to spread your arousal all over your womanhood. You whimpered and he finally pushed in. Both of you moaned in unison, the stretch so pleasurable it made you almost see stars.

“Mmhhmm, you feel so good,” you moaned, closing your eyes and biting his earlobe. He was quick to reply when he set up a fast pace, chasing his release.

Both of you were panting, neither of you speaking as you were indulged in each other. Feeling the sweat prickling around your hairline, you kissed Baekhyun, who grunted, pushing extra deep and hitting your g-spot. You let go of the kiss with a smooch, moaning loudly into his mouth which he swallowed, his forehead pressed to yours. “Is it good? Am I making you feel good?” he breathed, puffs of air hitting your lips.

“Yes, yes, you do,” you exhaled harshly as he slowed down, circling his hips to make sure he was touching every corner of you. You arched your back, your head hitting the cupboards you forgot were behind you. Just like that, both of you were laughing like crazy, Baekhyun smiling widely as he kissed your exposed neck while still deep inside you.

You cursed, still giggling. Bringing your face back, you took his face into your hands and kissed him as he took himself out of you completely and then slammed back in right away.

“I’m so fucking close,” he whispered between messy kisses. “I swear I'm gonna cum right now, princess.”

You wanted to tell him to wait for you, but instead you lead him on. “Then cum.”

“Should I pull out?” The urgency of his voice as he kept thrusting into you made you momentarily dizzy. He felt so good. “No, don’t pull out,” you breathed and he groaned loudly, hiding his face in your chest as was his habit when he was releasing. Exactly then, you felt hot spurts pumping into you. You felt so full but the satisfaction was anywhere near. You chose not to act up on your frustration, instead deciding to enjoy seeing Baekhyun in a bliss.

“I don't remember when was the last time I came this hard,” he told you, stilling completely, his breath fanning your lips as he was slowly coming down from his high. After a few moments, he kissed you sweetly. “Sorry, baby. Let me-”

“No, don’t,” you said, the wetness leaking out of you and on the counter. His hand hovered above your bundle of nerves just above where he disappeared inside you. “It's fine.”

“But you didn’t cum,” he muttered, embarrassed. “Sorry… this is so ridiculous.”

“Don't be silly,” you said with a gentle tone and brushed his hair out of his sweaty forehead and leaned in to kiss it. “You're so gorgeous, Baekyhun,” you told him when he finally focused his shy gaze on you. In response, he squeezed your thighs he was holding onto the whole time. The iron grip eased up into a gentle hold. You were sure you would bruise but damn, you didn't care.

He smiled and that was your biggest present. His smile that was meant for you. “The one who is gorgeous is you. You made me cum so fast with just the idea of you wearing that lingerie… I'll make it up to you, I promise,” he whispered, kissing you again as he pulled out of you, once again causing you to moan at the friction.

Baekhyun cleaned up the mess quickly and sent you to wash up but before you could saunter off, he held your hand. “Stay over tonight,” he requested softly.

Feeling yourself smile even wider, you gratefully accepted.

After eating dinner, it was already too late, so both of you moved to Baekhyun's room, deciding to talk like you wanted to.

He lent you his clothes and you relished in the feeling of getting lost in his hoodie. When he lied down, he opened his arms for you to find comfort in and you were fast to jump at him, causing him to grunt at the impact which made you giggle.

“Are you trying to say I’m heavy!” you shrieked in mock anger, hitting his chest gently, and Baekhyun laughed.

“No, never,” he hummed when you settled in, resting your head on his chest. His heartbeat sounded a little irregular.

Your mood instantly deflated. “So,” you started, drawing circles on his pectoral with your finger. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

He sighed gently and you felt his breath on your forehead. “I don’t know how to begin.”

“From the start.”

Baekhyun clicked his tongue at your reply and you smiled though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “You’re a teasing little thing, aren’t you, my love.”

My love.

If he called you his love it meant he wouldn’t break up with you, right?

“I just feel like …” he trailed off, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. “You’re in your final year.”

That sentence spoke volumes to you. The meaning behind it meant only one thing and it was that only thing you’d been trying to fight against and refuse to accept. Your time with Baekhyun was almost up.

“Won’t you say something?” he asked softly when there was no answer from you.

This time you were the one who sighed and gently pushed yourself out of his grasp, to sit up facing him.

He mirrored you and sat opposite you. “Baby, what is going to happen?”

“I don’t know,” you murmured, lowering your head. “I mean-“ you looked up. “I won’t leave you, that’s all I know for sure.”

Baekhyun wasn’t satisfied with your answer. After all, you had the same answer years ago. He called your name. “We cannot do this forever, you know? Both of us deserve to know where we stand. It’s weird that you’ve been promised to that man but there is no news about when you are supposed to get married?” he rumbled though his voice wasn’t accusative.

Biting your lip, you avoided his eyes again by looking down.

“You know stuff, don’t you.”

You grit your teeth.

“What aren’t you telling me, hm?” He waited for a moment and when you still refused to talk, he took a deep breath. “I can’t believe you’ve known stuff and not tell me!”

This time, he sounded angry. “No, Baek, it’s not like that! I- yes, I’m supposed to be marrying him after I graduate but-“

“There is no but. There is only a period. You are marrying him after you graduate. Period.”

Your heart broke into two. Baekhyun was frowning, hurt flashing in his eyes as his jaw pulsed with how hard he was clenching it. His lips, those lips, were set into a hard line and there was no way to make him look happy like he once used to when he was with you.

“Baekhyun,” you tried, voice thin, “I already told you I’m not letting you go.”

“You seriously think about yourself only, don’t you,” he responded coldly, disbelief painting his voice. “You really don’t care what it means for me to sneak behind some rich dude who can give you anything you point at! I have my own pride. I can’t bear to share you with someone-“

“Baekhyun, I won’t let him touch me! I won’t let him do anything! You won’t be sharing me with anyone! My heart belongs to you and you know it,” you said, tears burning up in your eyes. “I love you so much,” you whispered before your voice could break.

Baekhyun was holding back, you could tell. His lips quivered but he didn’t make any effort to reach out for you. His eyes glistened. “Don’t marry him.”

You groaned inwardly. “You know I can’t do that.”

“So you’ve been going behind your parents the entire time, seeing me despite their protests and when I ask you not to marry him, you suddenly want to comply?”

“It’s for business,” you reminded him, “I didn’t choose this myself if that’s what you’ve been thinking.”

“I don’t care! I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you more than he can ever give you,” he said hurriedly and you let out a small gasp because Baekhyun was usually anything but desperate. He was the collected one, but now he was anything but.

“I’ll never leave you,” you promised shuffling to him, taking his face in your cold hands. “Please know that, Baekhyun. I won’t let him do anything. It’s just a status. That's all.”

His eyes were frantically flickering between yours, as if searching for something more than there was. “How can you just marry him when you barely ever saw him?”

And now was the time where you could start feeling guilty. It was on you. This was your fault and given how well Baekhyun knew you, he would read right into it. It got confirmed when he pulled away from you, your hands dropping.

“What else aren't you telling me?” he said in a low voice now completely withdrawing away from you and pushing himself up against the headboard.

“Baekhyun-”

“Just tell me already!”

You winced, quickly shutting your mouth. “We sometimes meet because he… eh, he just wants to get to know me better. That's it, he just asks me questions an-and I answer,” you replied shakily, brushing your hair behind your ear. “There is nothing, I swear. I deserve to know what kind of man I am marrying, too,” you added, looking up at your boyfriend whose gaze was set somewhere behind you.

“Has this been happening the entire time?” he asked quietly.

“Since the start of the uni.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Fucking awesome. Congratulations.”

“Baekhyun,” you said, this time strictly. “What the hell is wrong with you? I've been begging to meet you the whole past year and you always found some bullshit excuse for studying and actually you know what? Who knows what you'd been doing during those times!” you exclaimed, the idea of him being with someone else sending you into a rage.

“The fuck? As if I would cheat on you!” he shouted back, sending daggers your way. “I've been in a relationship with someone who was never supposed to be mine! Tell me, sweetcheeks, how does that sound to you? I'm saving myself for you while I know the entire time that I'll be on the loose end. I'm the pathetic one. I am the one who will lose. Not you,” he said in a menacing tone. “So before you start to throw shit at me, I would look in the mirror if I were you.”

“Byun Baekhyun!” you shouted.

He raised an eyebrow. “What. You don't like to hear the truth? Well, this is it. And I have lost my mind, finally. I've been too goddamn blinded by your hope when I knew the whole time it would be fruitless. I cannot do this anymore!”

By then you were sobbing. The last sentence sent you into fits of cries that you couldn't suppress no matter how hard you tried, and it hurt. Byun Baekhyun's words hurt like hell. Hiding your face in your hands, you felt the wetness of your tears pooling in your palms, hoping he would stop being angry with you and just take you in his arms and take his words back.

It didn't happen.

Slowly, you moved your hands away to see him stare at you, hard gaze, lips sealed tightly. “Baby,” you tried, reaching for him. More tears fell from your eyes but you didn't care anymore. He had seen you cry so many times and he was always there to comfort you. This time you were crying because of him and he wouldn't even move a finger for you. “Baby, please.”

“You said you deserve to know him better, too,” he said. “So it is that important to you - that you need to know him.”

“Of course,” you replied with a nasal voice, “what if he is a psychopath.”

He laughed bitterly. “Right. What if he is. How the fuck would you know - you are marrying him anyway! So why is it so important to you to let him get to know you? And you him?”

“It's just the way the deal went, okay?”

“No, it's not okay,” he spat. “You're going against your own word. “You told me there would be nothing happening until you graduate and you were with him behind my back.”

It was your turn to scoff now, though your face was splotchy. “Because you were waiting for me so much!”

“Don't you dare turn this against me,” he muttered in a low tone which left you shocked. This was the first time Baekhyun used that kind of tone with you. In fact, this was your first time fighting this ugly. “This is about you. About your fucking family. About them wanting to destroy us!”

“And it's obviously working!” You threw your hands up. “Just look at you now! You're doing exactly what they want you to be doing! They so desperately wish for you to hurt me so I could dump you,” you shouted, more tears rolling down your hot cheeks. “I guess they were right after all.”

“Right in what,” he snapped again, glaring at you.

You stood up, unable to keep fighting with him. He watched you wordlessly as you picked up your bag where you had your school books. “You're just using me. I guess I was just money to you as well!” You were seething as you yanked his door open and rushed straight for the door.

Sensing someone in the kitchen, you stopped abruptly for a moment, seeing Park Chanyeol staring at you in shock while he took in your state.

You shook your head, not bothering to say hi to him as you went to grab your shoes just to realize you came in heels. “Fuck,” you muttered. Well, Baekhyun's vans would have to do. Grabbing them, you tied both shoes tightly so you wouldn't fall as you rushed to grab the door when you felt a hand grab your wrist instead.

You looked back, making out Baekhyun's features through tears. “Let go,” you snapped, trying to shake him off.

“Where are you going this late?!”

“Anywhere is better than here with you! I cannot stay with you, Baekhyun!” you shouted, finally yanking him off harshly enough so his hand slipped.

You slammed the door shut and Baekyhun was met with silence. Throwing a single, helpless gaze at his friend was enough for Chanyeol to nod and move. “I'll go after her,” he reassured Baekhyun who seemed to be on the verge of mental breakdown.

Baekhyun just nodded, watching Chanyeol leave and hoping you wouldn't actually break up with him.

You were marching down the dark street, ignoring the anxiety creeping in from the silent, empty streets. They were eerie and scary and you hated walking down them at such a late hour but there was no way you could stay at Baekhyun's.

Fast steps brought you back to the present and your heart almost jumped out of your rib cage when you felt someone taking your wrist again. Hope spiked up, expecting to see Baekhyun but it was Park Chanyeol.

He turned you to him gently, little out of breath from trying to catch up with you. “You sure walk fast,” he commented.

He let go of your wrist and you sighed, looking at him with expectation. “What do you want, Park?”

“I just wanted to make sure you're fine,” he said rather shyly.

“I'm just fine,” you insisted, “I will go home now. Go back, it's late.”

“I'll take you home,” he said and to prove a point he clinked with his car keys. “Though it's not the best car out there, it will do the job.”

You rolled your eyes. “I always knew all of you were judging me for my status. And don't bother. I know you're only doing this because of Baekhyun. Well, you don't need to do this.”

“He would skin me alive,” he whispered, horrified. “And he is now too good with the scalpel. I wouldn’t dare.”

“I don't want your help unless it's something you actually want to do, Park Chanyeol,” you muttered through gritted teeth, feeling another wave of tears threatening to spill. “You just made it worse. Leave.”

“It’s late.”

“I don't care. I need to be alone right now.”

“For your information, we all know how much he cherishes you,” he started. “Whenever he would reject you, he would study but not really focus. He keeps talking only about you. We don’t judge you for money but for how much you occupy our space even if you aren't there. That dude is just bewitched by you and I don't know how you managed to do it, to be honest. He is the coldest guy to any other opposite sex beside you.”

“What are you trying to say, Park Chanyeol?”

He sighed and gave you a pointed look. “Baekhyun sacrificed a lot for you. He is so loyal to you despite all the matters you guys have. He never told us but we have a hunch. Just… don’t go breaking his heart.”

“I am not breaking his heart!” you said loudly, tears rolling down your cheeks. “He doubts my feelings.”

“He doesn't. He is insecure.”

“How can he be insecure? All I ever wanted was to be with him.”

Chanyeol stepped closer to you, causing you to tilt your head back further. “Then go back and amend the mess you made.”

“It's not just my mess. It's ours. We made it. He should know what he told me was wrong.”

“All he ever did was listen to you! What makes you think that guy has unlimited patience? He doesn't! So go back, and make it right again!”

You let out a loud groan, turning away from him. You tapped your foot on the concrete, thinking hard though you were close to exasperation. Turning back to Baekhyun's friend, you muttered: “Since you brought those keys, take me on a drive. I’ll sponsor the gas.”

It was already late when you returned back but at least you managed to clear up your mind. Quietly slipping back inside his dark room, you saw him lying in bed, his back turned to you. Putting your bag quietly down on the floor, you slipped under the comforter, your arms and legs hugging him like a koala bear.

You thought he was asleep or worse, that he’d ignore you, but he moved almost as soon as you hugged him, turning in your embrace, pushing his leg between yours and his hand circling your waist, his hand on the skin of your lower back. It was pitch black in the room, but once you felt his hot breath on your mouth and then the moisture of his lips on yours, you didn't need to see. You just felt. He kissed you and poured all of his apologies, regrets and forgiveness in the kiss. You returned the kiss just as fervently, feeling his warm hand on your cheek, his fingers in your hair while his thumb smoothed the skin under your eye. He shuffled himself closer and hummed when you darted out your tongue. He sucked on your lip a little longer before opening his mouth to let you in, and you took your time in exploring him, twirling and sucking on his tongue while you felt his arm tightening around you, his hand under your hoodie as he caressed you under your breast. In the quietness of his room there were just the slick sounds of your making out.

When you couldn't keep going anymore, you separated, your mouth fully wet from your mixed saliva as you panted loudly. You felt him pressing his forehead to yours and you sighed in relief.

“I'm so sorry, princess,” he whispered, nuzzling your nose gently, dragging his leg up so he could rest it on your thigh. “I was a fool.”

“No,” you whispered back, wishing you could see him better. “You merely stated the facts. It's all on me.”

“We both screwed up,” he added, “but fuck.” He gave your cheek a small, open-mouthed kiss, sending shivers down your spine, “I can't imagine you leaving me and being with him. I can't.”

You wanted to reply to him and to ease his mind that you wouldn't, but you would lie. The more you would keep to yourself, the more you would end up hurting the most precious person in your life.

“I'm so sorry. None of what I said is true,” you managed to blurt, unable to come up with anything more. “I keep breaking you. I'm so sorry.”

“Shh, baby,” he whispered urgently, his hand that was resting on your cheek slipping to the back of your head to bring you closer. You hid your face in his chest while he hid his in your neck. “You're not breaking me. You're breaking me if I'm not with you.”

You snuggled closer to him and he sighed, hugging you tighter. “My precious gem, I love you,” he whispered into your ear. To make your body contact more intimate, you also hid your hands under his hoodie, feeling his muscles contracting at your delicate touch. “You're mine.”

Few days later you received a message. It was from Mr Kwon and you groaned, stopping on your way to another class.

I request a lunch with you today

My driver will pick you up at 12

I know you're not supposed to be having classes

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you pushed your phone back into your bag and headed inside the classroom. Even if you would reject him, he wouldn't accept it, so you might as well not bother with replying.

However, you were shocked when the driver came all the way to your classroom as all the students were pouring out and heading for lunch. You knew Mr Kwon's driver and even though he was polite, you didn't like the looks he was giving you whenever he saw you wearing skirts, like for instance, now.

He escorted you to the expensive restaurant where they were already waiting for you. Upon spotting you, the staff rushed towards you and led you to Mr Kwon who was already seated, his hands clasped together as his elbows rested on the table. He stood up, giving you a polite bow as he helped you sit down.

When he was opposite you, he said: “Pleasure to see you. How have you been the past few days we didn't see each other?”

You suppress a tired sigh. “I've been fine, thank you.”

“Oh, have you, now?” he questioned, his eyebrow lifting. His eyes were telling you something he wasn't verbalizing and it put you into unease right away.

Smiling, you muttered: “Yes, but thank you for your concern.”

“No issues with your friends?”

His stupid inquisition was starting to annoy you. “Excuse me? Could you please speak more explicitly?”

“I thought you'd never ask,” he smirked and took out an envelope from the inside of his cardigan and handed it to you over the table.

With uncertainty, you accepted it and opened it, not wasting time in trying to understand his mysterious words. There were photos. Frowning, you inspected them better and you were shocked when you saw it was you with a tall male. Park Chanyeol. It must have been that night when you fought with Baekhyun. Your breath hitched in your throat when you realized this man had you followed by someone.

You opened your mouth to talk but he cut through like a knife. “I was wondering where did you receive such a - how shall I put it - passionate bruise on your neck the last time I saw you. Turns out you're sleeping around with someone.”

It felt like he just threw a bucket of icy cold water on you. The idea of him having you followed, of him not trusting you and rudely breaking into your privacy as if you were some object he could manipulate and decide whom to meet and whom to not meet was driving you up the wall.

“You don't have anything to defend yourself?” he asked sharply. “How long have you been seeing that man?”

You swallowed on a dry throat. Mr Kwon thought your boyfriend was Park Chanyeol? That was good. As long as he had no knowledge about Baekhyun, you didn't care. “I… it's been…”

“Jesus Christ, I really didn't think you would be a whore,” he snickered, eyeing you up and his eyes eventually resting on your cleavage. “You were acting all innocent and brave just a few years ago and attending university changed you so much. I wanted to be the only one who would bed you,” he sneered and you felt a bile rising in your stomach.

“What- Excuse me?! Who do you think you are?!” you exclaimed, horrified. “Don't you dare think of me that way.” You stood up and wanted to scream when you saw his eyes drinking up your thighs that got revealed as your skirt hiked up. “A deal is a deal. You don't have any rights to treat me like this. And you can bet you aren't going to boss me around once we are married. I'll easily reject the marriage, too.”

Mr Kwon was fast up on his feet to walk over to you. “Well, if you do, your parents are as good as dead. Their business is in shackles, young lady. So unless you want them to be able to afford some food and have a roof over their heads, I advise you to respect me,” he was talking so fast you could barely register his touch on your hip and on your backside. Gasping, you slapped his hand away and dared to push him from you. He snickered.

“Watch your hands, Mr Kwon,” you spat. “This is a private property.”

He laughed and leaned in. “Oh, are you like this with him too? Then I can't wait to have the full rights. The only one with rights. Soon, little tiger.” You moved to push him away when he added: “You better end this little thingy you have with the boy. Because if I find out who he is, I will destroy him and any perspectives he could have for the future.”

Even though he didn't know about Byun Baekhyun, you could not risk it.

You had to break up with him.

// // // // //

Drop me a message! ^^ CuriousCat

#exowritersnet #baekhyun fanfiction #exo fanfiction #superm fanfiction #baekhyun angst #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun fic #MWM #mywritings

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fangirlovestuff · 4 years ago

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A Very Colin Christmas - Colin Shea x reader

Ch.3 - Meet The Family

ch.1 ch.2

a/n - Hey lovely people!! I hope you’re having a wonderful day and here’s the third chapter, enjoy!!<3

Summary: The big weekend arrives and you get to meet Colin’s family. Your plan’s going smoothly, they seem to like you. But there might be another problem...

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: curse words, innuendos, annoying relatives

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The big weekend has arrived, and in hindsight, you should've been more prepared.

You were sitting in your living room when you heard a flurry of voices from outside your door. Getting up and putting your ear to the door, you tried to realize what was happening.

"Colin dear, how are you?" a feminine voice was saying. "You know, I've just realized I don't think I've ever been to your apartment," she, who you assumed was his mother, continued.

"First time for everything, mom," you heard Colin's voice affirming your thoughts. "Come in," he said, and after a few moments you heard a door shutting and the voices died down. You went back and sat down on your sofa before getting up again and getting dressed, assuming Colin would ask you to come soon.

When you got dressed, you went over the details in your head one last time. Colin's parents were staying with him, Andy and his family were staying at a hotel nearby. You and Colin were serious, but didn't live together yet. He told you to act like yourself, just "double in love than you already were".

"Double zero is still zero, Colin. Don't make me regret I'm doing this," you had said.

"Okay, okay," he had laughed.

Now, you were standing in front of your mirror, examining yourself. But it was a poor distraction from the thoughts going through your mind. There was an awful lot of them, but the general point was – am I really going to do this?

Because when you had met Colin, you said you were going to be just friends, and that you were never going to let yourself feel anything more for him, because there was no way he would reciprocate. And you couldn't help but think that this little favor was really a recipe for disaster.

Just then you got a text from Colin that read "be here in ten pls".

Realizing this wasn't really time to rethink this, you shook your head. Then, you put on some lipstick and shoes, and grabbed a jacket and a purse. Colin's family didn't know you were neighbors, and if the plan succeeds, they wouldn't realize it.

Ten minutes later, you were knocking on Colin's door. It opened to reveal a man about as tall as Colin, but he was a bit older. His beard was neatly trimmed, his hair a bit darker than Colin's but you immediately saw the resemblance. The eyes. Looking at his face, you resisted the urge to sigh. Damn, I didn't realize everyone in this family got the pretty gene. So unfair.

"Hey," the man said with a smile. "I'm-''

"Andy, right? Colin's brother?" you said with a smile.

"Exactly," he chuckled. "And I assume you're Colin's girlfriend?"

"So you've heard of me?" you said playfully and then told him your name.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you. And for the record, all I heard about you were good things," he extended his hand to you and you shook it before he gestured for you to get in and followed you inside.

You made your way to the living room, where the entire family was sitting. His mom and dad were on the couch with who you assumed were Laurie and Jacob, Andy's wife and kid, while Colin was sitting on a chair from the kitchen. Your entrance stopped the conversation they were having, whatever it was about, as they all looked up at you.

"Merry Christmas!" you greeted them all before Colin saved you from having to think of anything else to say. He got up and made his way to wrap his arm around you, gesturing towards the chair he just got up from. "Sit down babe, I'll go get another chair," he smiled.

You smiled back at him in what you hoped was a lovey way. "Thank you," you drew out the 'you' before going to sit and introducing yourself to his family. They introduced themselves, and their smiles were inviting and warm. Colin's mom, Eleanor exchanged a look with his dad William, but it didn't seem to be a menacing one. At first glance, everything was going great.

Andy sat down on the other chair that was there. "So, what do you do?" he asked you with a smile.

You told him about your actual job, thankful it wasn't anything Colin-related. In the meantime, Colin came back with a chair and sat down next to you, taking your hand and squeezing it in his before resting your joint palms on his lap.

"How come you're spending Christmas with us?" Laurie asked with a smile. Her question seemed a little less genuine. You didn't know if you were reading into it too much, but it seemed like she was asking you 'Oh, what makes you think you can join our family? Get your own.'

But that was probably paranoia. I mean, that would be crazy.

"Well," you answered, "my family couldn't really do Christmas together this year, since my dad has a work thing, so we decided to meet up in a week instead, for new year's. When Colin heard I had no plans, he invited me to meet you guys, and how could I say no to that?" you smiled and looked at Colin as you said the last part.

"Tell me," Eleanor leaned forward, "with a job like yours, aren't you hoping Colin gets a profession that's a little more… professional, maybe?"

If you thought Laurie might be passive aggressive, there was no room for error with Eleanor. At second glance, things might not be going that great.

"Wow, getting straight to business, mom," Colin chuckled.

"What, I wanna hear what she has to say," she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Colin's very professional at what he does already," you offered, "And I know it's what he wants to do, so I want that for him too," you clutched Colin's hand and smiled at him.

"I see," she nodded. There was an awkward silence before Colin spoke up.

"So Jacob, how's school?"

"Great," he said without even looking up from his phone.

"I'm a little hungry," you said, "Colin, let’s go get the food out," you smiled and got up.

"After you," he gestured and followed you to the kitchen. His kitchen had no door, but it was far enough from the living room that when you heard voices of conversation, you felt okay about whispering to Colin.

"What the hell?" you whispered as you took some boxes out of the fridge.

"I know," he whispered back, "I told you they were a lot. Sorry."

"It’s okay, it's not your fault. But damn, they are definitely… interesting."

You heated up the food and brought it to the living room table. A few days ago, when you and Colin had sat here, he was smiling, and the light from the Christmas décor created a very warm atmosphere. Now, the same room somehow seemed manufactured, unauthentic, and Colin's smile seemed the same.

You had dinner without any touchy subjects coming up, thankfully. While they were talking about a case Andy was handling as the district attorney, you figured what Colin was trying to say about him. Andy wasn't a bad person, didn't seem like a bad husband or father or brother or son as well. But that was the thing about him. He was so perfect it was almost unsettling, it made you want to prod around until you realized what was wrong with him. Hell, he almost made you feel inadequate, so you could imagine what it was like for Colin, who has him as a big brother.

As dinner was coming to an end, you excused yourself, saying you should probably get back home. Colin got up and handed you your jacket from the hanger, like a good boyfriend should, when –

"Hey, you two are under the mistletoe!" Laurie exclaimed with a smile. You looked up, realizing she was right.

"Oh," you giggled, "I guess we are."

You rose on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek, but at the same moment he turned his head, resulting in you planting a kiss on his lips. You stifled a squeak of surprise when he put his hand on your lower back, pulling you closer for a moment before breaking the kiss.

"Goodnight," you smiled at everyone, avoiding Colin's eyes.

"We'll see you tomorrow, right?" Eleanor asked.

You were tempted to say no. Colin was the one who broke the rules, and his family was admittedly kind of annoying. But when you snuck a peek at him from the corner of your eye, you saw the look on his face.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," you waved and promptly left, closing the door behind you.

Later, you found yourself in bed, struggling to fall asleep. You were almost mad at yourself for not making up an excuse and telling them you won't be able to make it tomorrow, But then you remembered the look on Colin's face. It was so hopeful, and you couldn't let him down.

You know, because you keep your promises to your friends. Nothing more. It's not the way his eyes were shining in awe. Or how soft his lips were when you kissed him. Or how right it felt to have his hand on the small of your back, pulling you in.

Definitely not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

feedback is always welcome!!<3

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bunnys-beetlejuice-blog · 4 years ago

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time for another goofass take it easy nonsense fic chapter! you like ghouls and demons and weird family dynamics? come on in and have some fun! this is set in my BJ Deetz au, so Beetlejuice is a teen, adopted by the Deetz family. There, you're all set, go read.

There’s a moment where they’re all staring at each other, siblings and their sudden guest all in the know, or at least partially, about secrets the others are holding, and none of them seem sure what their first move should be. Then Emily comes up, and puts her hands on her children’s backs, and leads them to the front door. “Kids, this is your dad’s cousin, Ash. Ash is going to be staying with us for a few days,” she tells them. “Ash, this is BJ, and Lydia.” “Hi,” Lydia squirms. “What’s good?” BJ tries to look casual. Ash, for his part, doesn’t seem inclined to mention the very clear demonstration of magic BJ had pulled in front of him, hardly a few hours ago. “Good to finally, officially, meet you kids,” he says, and then sticks out a hand to shake. BJ takes it, is given a shake, and Ash tilts his head. “You run hot. Feeling sick, BJ?” “Nah, just.. Always a little warm,” the demon pulls his hand back, and Emily smiles. “We’ll have dinner in a bit. Charles always cooks, he’s a great chef. Kids, can you show your uncle to the guest room?” She nudges them, and trapped by social convention and an inability to say no to Emily, BJ huffs, but nods. “Yeah, sure. Follow me, then.”

He’s so used to floating around the house that he has to really remind himself not to lift his legs and just levitate, like he normally does, and the feeling of his body physically trudging up the stairs is almost alien to him. Lydia, weird kid she is, scrambles up the stairs on all fours in front of them, and Ash follows dutifully behind them, as BJ leads him up to the second floor and then down the hall, to the guest room- the room across the hall from his own. He opens the door, gestures to it, and Ash steps in, looks around. “Well, it beats a motel six, that’s for god damn sure,” he says, setting his bag on the bed, and then he turns to look at the kids.

“So. Should we talk?” he quirks a brow. “Up here, where your parents can’t hear?” “Oh no, don’t tell me you’re a creepy kinda uncle,” BJ grimaces. “We’re family. Getchur head outta the gutter, kiddo. Now. That was some disappearing act you two pulled. Never seen anything like it, before.” “What can I say, I love illusions,” BJ tries. “M’gonna be the next Houdini.” “I bet. You wanna share how you did it?” “Magicians don’t reveal their secrets!” Lydia pipes up. The siblings are standing in the doorway, tense, as their newfound relative leans against one of the posters of the antique canopy bed frame. “That was a little more than stage magic. You learn to do that from the book?” Ash asks. BJ blinks. The monster hunter in front of them is still buying that he’s human. Okay.. okay. He can work with that. “Yeah, the book,” he agrees. “Pretty crazy, right?” “I’ve seen that book do wild things, but none of them ever good,” Ash tells them, arms crossed. “It might seem like a fun toy, giving you the ability to do stuff like that, but it’s like a snake, kid. It’s gonna turn on ya. Last thing I want is to have to ruin your daddy’s life by killing his two little treasures, when they get possessed and become deadites.”

BJ’s a little insulted on behalf of snakes, his aspect animal, but he understands the metaphor. Also, “You wouldn’t even hesitate?” he asks, and Ash shrugs. “I’ve taken out a lot of deadites. Once someone’s possessed, they don’t come back from it. No reason to go getting sentimental over who gets latched onto.” There’s a pain behind those hard dark eyes. “Don’t make me shoot the kid,” he nods to Lydia, who tries to match the cool guy vibe. “I’m not a kid, I’m eleven,” she argues, which doesn’t really help her case in the way she thinks it does. BJ puts a hand on her head. “No one’s doin’ anythin’ to Lydster,” he says, a growl in his gravelly voice, and Ash hardly reacts. “I’m tellin’ you, when this goes tits up, and it will, that I will be the one cleaning up the mess. And it’ll get a lot messier before it gets cleaner.” That doesn’t make much sense, but he gets the vibe uncle Ash is going for, at least.

“So if this book is so dangerous, why don’t you destroy it?” “You think I haven’t tried?” He sort of had assumed that, yes. “You can’t burn this thing, or drown it, or bury it. Whatever ancient evil powers it, doesn’t let it be destroyed. It’s humanity’s curse.” “You just sit around, practicin’ these kinda lines, or what?” “Funny. The book, BJ.”

BJ grimaces, but digs into his hoodie pocket, and impossibly, pulls an entire book out. Ash pauses, at that. “Wh-” BJ lifts the book, gives it another huff. The scent is a little addicting, honestly, but he passes it off to Ash, who takes it. “Got pretty cozy with this thing pretty fast,” the older man says. “You know it’s bound in human flesh, right?” Ooooh, that’s why it smells so good. Lydia, at least, has the sense to be disgusted. “Ewww, and I touched it,” she grimaces, and wipes her hands on BJ’s striped hoodie. “Guess th’ ink inside ain’t ink?” he asks, and Ash nods. “Human blood. Sort of cliche, but the ancient Sumerians weren’t askin’ me when they penned the damn thing, I guess.” Ooooh, again. No wonder he couldn’t read it. Ash finally takes a seat on the edge of the bed, and cracks the book open, thumbing through it. “Can you read what it says?” Lydia asks, curious, coming over to peer down at the book in Ash’s lap. “Sure!” and then a pause. “Well, not exactly, one hundred percent, all the way, no,” he admits. “I know a little, though.” “An’ you picked up ancient Sumerian where?” BJ asks, coming to stand behind Lydia. “I wouldn’t say I picked it up,” Ash avoids the question. “Just sort of learned enough through various means. My pronunciation is pretty good. I even remember most of the words.” That doesn’t instil a lot of confidence, but alright.

“Which passage did you read, to learn that teleportation trick?” Ash looks up at him, and BJ grimaces. “Uh, I dunno, it was.. In th’ middle, I think,” he lies, a bit poorly. Ash thumbs through the pages, and then pauses. “Wait, can you read ancient Sumerian?” He asks. BJ rubs at his neck. “I can speak enough Spanish to ask where a library is,” he says, and Ash squints. “Well then how the hell did it give you a weird demon power? You sure it was this book?” “Sure, I’m sure! This is only like, th’ third weird possessed demon book I’ve ever handled, it’s gonna be somethin’ in there that did it,” BJ says. “BJ is totally normal otherwise!” Lydia blurts. Smooth.

Ash closes the book, and stands. “Except that’s not true, is it?” Their uncle asks, studying the demon’s face. “Because in the alleyway, you pushed the power back. I’ve been chased through the woods by that thing, and I didn’t stand a chance. It was going to pounce, grab one of you, and you stopped it, somehow. And the deadite handed the Necronomicon over to you, when it’s goal was getting it away from me.” He takes a menacing step forward. The Deetz siblings take a collective step back. BJ’s got his hands on Lydia’s shoulders, and he maneuvers his kid sister behind him, quickly. “So what’s the deal, kid?” Uncle Ash’s glare is hard, and a little crazy. “Don’t go blowin’ smoke up my ass. I know when I’m being lied to.”

“Not immediately, which is pretty funny,” BJ says, and before they can argue, there’s a scream from downstairs. BJ scoops up Lydia, and Ash scoops up his green canvas duffle bag, and the two of them rush to the stairs, quickly, panic rising in BJ’s chest, because that scream? That’s Emily. you can read the rest right over HERE

#the evil dead #ashley williams #ash williams #evil dead fanfiction #beetlejuice fanfiction #beetlejuice #lydia deetz #charles deetz #emily deetz #my writing #i like writing ash n bj together they are both so goddamn stupid

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enviedear · 5 years ago

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that damn american ᶠᶦᵛᵉ

don’t exploit our friendship

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which y/n and draco go on a ‘date’, meet harry potter, and come to conclusions in the owlery.

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 3k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five

gonna rec golden hour - kacey musgraves , teenage fantasy - jorja smith and playing games - summer walker for this chapter ;)

“i’m not taking her to madame puddifoot’s.” blaise sighs, exasperated.

“why? i’m sure april would love that tacky shop.” draco snickers, earning a jab from you.

april, who’s far ahead of you all, is making her way for the joke shop. she said something about how she and blaise are going to be pranking quinn. you suppose it’s only fair for what he did to her in fourth year.

the air is cooler now, and the four of you are all clad in warmer garments. the boys sporting slytherin quidditch sweaters and draco wearing a black turtleneck underneath. while april looks straight out of a damn brandy melville ad with her thunderbird sweatshirt tucked into her tennis skirt.

you on the other hand decided it best to wear a simple green tank with a loose cropped cardigan with mom jeans.

you’re now regretting the decision as your upper body is becoming unbearably chilly.

“blaise, look! i got some hiccoughing candy. i think we could give him one after breakfast tomorrow.” april laughs.

draco groans from the bench the two of you are sat on, playing with the silver rings on his fingers.

“this is bloody demeaning.” the boy complains.

“you know, you could be third wheeling. at least i’m here, and i could always leave you here. alone.” you huff.

draco narrows his eyes at you, “if you dare try, i’ll make sure you never get back to america. i refuse to be alone with these two lovesick idiots.”

“jesus someone is in a mood.” you snort, ruffling his perfectly done hair.

“shut it l/n.”

blaise and april walk into tomes and scrolls, leaving you and draco outside.

“screw this, come on, let’s go to gladrags. i want a jacket.” you say, hopping off the bench.

draco gets up, “damn americans and never dressing for the weather.”

“i think that’s more of a me thing.” you retort, heading into the shop.

as you take a look around you find a small section full of coats, sweaters, jackets, and sweatshirts.

“you know these are ridiculously overpriced, right?” draco scoffs.

“well i’m cold draco. and like my mother always says, ‘a fashionable witch always dresses in which she is comfortable’.” you say, reciting a line from one of your mother’s books.

she’s a popular fashion designer, and never let you or quinn forget it.

“excuse me, is your mother, the eliza l/n?” draco gasps.

you nod, a little confused as to how the boy knows her.

“hold on. you’re the daughter of one of american’s best designers and you never thought to tell me? what’s next? is your father the bloody president.”

you laugh, “no, but he is a retired quadpot player for the new york nogtails. you seriously didn’t know? my parents are the wizarding equivalent to victoria and david beckham.”

draco looks bewildered, “this whole time you’ve had prestige, and i didn’t even know? oh, just wait until i owl mother and tell her i’m friends with her favorite designers daughter.”

“don’t exploit our friendship, you fucker.” you say, slapping his shoulder.

he rubs his side and glares at you, “you were the one that begged me to be your friend. at least let me reap the benefits.”

“i’m starting to regret my decision, you’re a shit friend.” you tease.

draco lets out an exaggerated sigh, “fine, i was going to give you my sweater so you wouldn’t have to buy one, but since i’m such a shit friend.. nevermind.”

“i was kidding bitch. hand over the sweater!” you order.

he rolls his grey eyes and slips the garment off, exposing his tight fitted black turtleneck. it’s a sight to behold, honestly. it makes your mind slip into visions of the two of you actually together and on a date.

“well take it, and come on. i want a butterbeer.” he says, snapping you out of your daydream.

you put the sweater on and trail behind your friend. when the two of you enter the three broomsticks, draco immediately scowls.

“what’s the matter?” you ask.

“stupid potter. he’s sitting in my spot.” draco huffs.

“just sit somewhere else, you big baby.”

draco looks annoyed but complies, sitting beside you at a nearby booth.

you want to question why he’s not sitting on the opposite side, but ignore it. you like being this close to him.

“why do you hate harry?” you ask instead.

“he’s a brat. he thinks he so special because he killed a dark wizard when he was a baby. and his stupid parents are always at family events because of my bloody cousin, sirius. they’re the strangest people.” he tells.

“ah, how annoying. the boy saved the world in infancy.” you deadpan.

draco waves you off, “okay, i get it. but he is annoying.”

you laugh as a waitress comes over to take your order.

“two butterbeers.” draco tells her, handing her money.

as she walks away you give him a look, “i could have paid.”

“the guy always pays for the first date, y/n.” draco rolls his eyes, before adding, “not that this is a date. i wouldn’t take you to the three broomsticks.”

you smile, a little shy, “i wouldn’t mind sharing a first date here.”

“then potter is your soulmate. he takes ginny here every date they go on. honestly i don’t know how does he has a girlfriend and i don’t. the irony” he pouts.

you glower at him.

the waitress comes back with your drinks, and draco watches you expectantly. you roll your eyes and take a sip.

“oh shit this is good.” you gasp.

“told you.” he says, smug.

the two of you continue talking and drinking your butterbeers for a few more minutes before april and blaise make their way into the shop.

“look at this pretty necklace blaise got me! oh, and i got momma to mail me my old phone for him to use. he’s with the times now!” april beams, rushing into the booth.

blaise trails behind her, looking very confused by the cellphone in his hands.

“well hello you two. i’m glad you’re enjoying your date.” you smile.

blaise looks up at you, “seems like you’re enjoying yours as well.”

“draco and i are not on a date.” you say, glancing at the boy beside you.

“well we just thought you were since you’re wearing his sweater and sitting in the same bench. couple behavior if you ask me.” april shrugs.

“why do you people think i would take someone on a first date here. i’m far too good for that.” draco sighs.

april laughs and gives blaise a knowing look.

you don’t like that. it makes you narrow your eyes at the two of them, but they continue giggling.

“draco! i’m glad i caught you,” a voice calls.

you look up to see harry potter, followed by a redhead.

“are you coming over to sirius’ for christmas?” harry asks, resting against the booth.

“of course potter. he’s my family.” draco grunts.

“i was just making sure,” harry retorts. he looks at you, “are you bringing your girlfriend? sirius asked.”

draco coughs, “excuse me?”

harry smiles, “y/n, your girlfriend. snape owled my mum about it and dad told sirius. don’t worry, he’s letting you surprise your parents. he just wanted to know if she’d be with us this year.”

draco is fuming as he stares at harry. it’s quite enjoyable.

you grin, “actually, i’m going to be with my parents this christmas. but i don’t see why i couldn’t portkey here. i’d love to tag along.”

draco glares at you, “we are not-”

“great! i’ll owl sirius. come on ginny.” the brown haired boy gleams, walking away.

draco’s still glaring, “you’re dead. i’m going to hex you until you can’t remember your name.”

“oh come on. it was a joke. plus it’d be fun to have christmas with me. can’t you imagine it?” you say, nudging his arm.

“but explaining to my mum that we’re not dating is going to be a hassle. and you’re going to have to meet my crazy aunt bella.” draco groans, rubbing his eyes.

“to be fair, his aunt is mad. but think about it draco, what’s the worst that can happen? y/n would be a great addition to your family, even if it is just as a friend.” blaise says.

“just as a friend my ass.” april whispers.

draco rolls his eyes but gives you all a smile, “i hate everything about this.”

blaise narrows his eyes before smirking, “sure mate.”

once it was time to go back to the castle you told everyone you needed to head to the owlery first to pick up a package your parents had sent you. draco offered to come along and you let him, obviously.

you liked being alone with him.

by the time you get to the tower, it’s deserted, save for you and draco.

“you’re such a menace.” draco speaks, breaking your focus from your letters.

“big word for such a baby of a man.” you tease.

“shut up. i’m being serious. i know the minute i tell everyone you’re not my girlfriend, potter and his friends are going to have a field day.” draco says.

“harry doesn’t seem so mean. i follow him on instagram. he’s always so nice online.” you retort.

“you’ll see. he’s going to be a prat come christmas.” draco sighs, leaning against the wall.

you huff, “stop being so dramatic. if you want i can always just say i’m your girlfriend.”

draco gets off the wall and comes over to you, “you’re serious?”

you laugh, “yeah, i mean, everyone’s right. be basically act like a couple already. we’re really close for friends.”

“i guess..” he trails off, looking away from you.

you bite your lip and examine him. his pretty blond hair, pink lips, flushed face, and perfect posture. of course you wouldn’t mind pretending to be his girlfriend. you love him.

everything about him. you love the way his face contorts into a scowl after any inconvenience. you love how he looks at you when he sees someone doing something stupid. you love how he always has something for the two of you to do. and you love how he shows you the real him.

“but maybe it could be like a trial run.” he mutters, finally looking at you.

“what?” you breathe, voice catching in your throat.

“i mean, it would be stupid to not try. you’re my best friend y/n. i think we could, uh, work together.”

“are you saying you have a crush on me?”

“merlin. this is not as easy as i thought it was. of course i fancy you l/n. why else would i act like an utter buffoon?” he sighs.

you snort, “you act like buffoon even without me present, dickwad.”

“i’m trying to have a romantic conversation.”

“right, sorry,” you grin. “i would love to try to be your girlfriend.”

draco nods, “good. i mean, thank you?”

“come on, you can’t freeze up now. i definitely didn’t sign up for a shy boyfriend.”

he quirks up his eyebrow, “that you didn’t.”

the words and his gaze make your knees weak. and in an instant, draco’s lips are on yours. the wind outside is loud, but as you kiss him, you can’t hear a thing. your sense of smell is attacked with his cinnamon vanilla cologne. the boy is like one of the high end stores your mom shops at in the winter.

and his lips, his pretty full lips. the way they move with yours reminds you of something you’ve always needed but never knew. his hands take hold of your face and he brings the kiss deeper. the two of you oblivious to the world around you.

when you finally pull away, a smirk takes over his face.

“you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.” he says, satisfied.

“come on, we’ve got to get back to the common room. we have classes in the morning.” you grin, grabbing your letters.

“please, the minute i get to the common room i’m kicking everyone out of my dorm and sneaking you in.” he states.

you look at him, shocked. silently thinking.

“stop staring at me like that. you can speak.”

glaring you say, “we’re going to have to tell everyone.”

draco groans, “maybe we should just wait until tomorrow.”

you nod, “tomorrow.”

#—myfics !#draco lucius malfoy #Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy one shot #draco fanfiction #draco x y/n #draco x reader #draco x you #draco x female reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x slytherin #draco malfoy x american! reader #draco x ilvernmorny! reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x you #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #hogwarts

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sinsbymanka · 4 years ago

Note

20 and 23 sext prompts for vsrricmance . . .but make it varric/shay >.>

For you, anything ❤ For @dadrunkwriting may I present the next installment of...

The Giant Nug Invasion

Rated: E Chapter: 1/1 Words: 3415 Pairing: Female Cadash/Varric Tethras, Female Cadash/Solas, Female Cadash/Female Cadash/Solas/Varric Tethras Additional Tags: Shameless Smut, Polyamory, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, Childhood Friends Summary: Varric arranges a date night with one of his girlfriends to see a bunch of terrible old horror movies. He's got ulterior motives involving the backseat of his car and a long held fantasy.

Read on AO3

Varric has three problems.

First, if he doesn’t get this show on the row, they’re gonna be late for an evening he’s been looking forward to all week.

Second, Maria’s got that look in her eyes which means she’s in the kind of mood where she’ll forget to do basic things - like eat - in her mad dash to complete her latest project impeccably.

Third, Shay’s out in the living room trying to cajole Solas into joining them tonight after all.

Luckily, Varric’s always been a problem solver. He casts one long suffering look at Maria that makes her nose twitch and her chin raise. “Varric, will you stop fucking babysitting me?”

“You gonna take a break tonight at some point?” he asks smoothly.

He swears her ears are turning as red as the hair tied up in a messy bun on top of her head. Gray eyes flash and Varric almost gives into the urge to dive headlong into that storm, undo the clip holding her glorious hair up, and pointedly insist she takes that break now.

But he’s got another lady he promised a date to and a sneaky suspicion problem number three can handle problem number two.

“I will shave your chest if you do not get out of here in 10 seconds I swear on my Ancestors, Varric Tethras.”

He throws up his hands in defeat and takes a step back. “Have it your way, Princess.”

Just like he knows she will, she softens at the corners. Her lips tip up and she releases her death grip on her laptop. “Have fun. Really. I’ll be fine.”

“You always are.” He punctuates the statement with a wink and gets a grin in return that still manages to make his stomach clench years after the first time he saw her. He can’t resist leaning in and claiming one soft, almost chaste kiss from her lips.

Well, it’s chaste until Maria nips his bottom lip and the urge to pull her up out of the desk and toss her onto their bed rears its head. She smirks and reaches up, pointedly undoing one extra button on his shirt.

“Go on,” she instructs, brushing her fingers through his chest hair. “Shay’s waiting.”

“You sure-”

Her eyes crackle dangerously in the way he loves most. “Varric…” she warns.

He tucks the memory of her expression, her mischievous grin, and the feel of her fingers away. Then he, wisely, retreats from their bedroom, chest hair still intact.

Their apartment is no sprawling mass, like his parent’s tumbling-down mansion, but it’s not some dingy little box either. The long hallway from the bedrooms leads out into an open space perfect for the times they gather all their friends together. The kitchenette has a counter lined with barstools, a big couch faces the TV, and large windows overlook the busy little college town.

Overall, Varric can’t think of a prettier picture. Especially when he sees Solas on the couch nearly hidden by a curtain of wild red curls.

“Solas…” Shay pleas. “It’ll be fun, I swear. They’re a bunch of old horror movies and you love old things, look at all your grandpa sweaters.”

“Perhaps I am too old for horror films,” Solas points out wryly. “Maria would say my heart can’t take it.”

Perfect opportunity, Varric takes it ruthlessly. “We’ll have to risk it, cause somebody’s gotta take Freckles.”

Shay looks up over Solas’ shoulder immediately, big brown eyes widening. “You’re taking me! Varric, you promised!”

He hooks his thumb over his shoulder back towards the bedroom. “Somebody’s gotta watch Maria or she’s gonna skip lunch, dinner, showering, and probably sleep. You know how she gets when she’s got something due.”

Shay’s bottom lip juts out into an absolutely devastated pout. Varric hardly has to wait before Solas is offering the obvious solution.

“You two wish to go to this event,” Solas snakes his arms around Shay’s torso and smiles into her face. “I can stay and ensure Maria rests.”

Shay sighs, already half defeated, and throws a disapproving glare over Varric’s shoulder. “I wish you’d both come.”

“I really tried to convince her,” Varric shrugs and steps to the side revealing the empty hallway. “You’re more than welcome to take a shot at it, but she’s at ‘threaten chest hair’ levels, so do so at your own risk.”

“It is no trouble, vhenan,” Solas soothes, tucking a curl behind the delicate shell of Shay’s ear. “I will take care of her, you should both enjoy…” Solas actually makes a face that brings a delighted grin to Shay’s face. “The Giant Nug Invasion.”

“And Night of the Arcane Horrors,” Shay supplies eagerly, “and Children of the Elfroot.”

“The best of the worst old movies, Solas. You’re really missing out.” Varric teases.

Solas rubs the length of his nose against Shay’s in an absolutely sappy gesture. “I am sure I’ll hear all about them.”

Shay presses a swift kiss on his forehead before she clambers off her lap, pulling down her short skirt and beaming into Varric’s face. “Well, it’s just me and you then. Up to trouble as usual.”

Oh doesn’t Varric know it.

Varric thanks his lucky stars every day they’ve found the drive-in who does these old movies on off-season weekends. It’s never too crowded, and it’s become a regular date night spot for the group. But when he saw the horror movies advertised…

Well, once there had been an idiotic teenage boy and his beautiful best friend, and the adolescent he’d been had been so caught up in… well, Bianca and her bullshit, he never looked twice at Shay sitting beside him. But he remembers sitting on the couch in Shay’s living room watching the worst special effects on Saturday nights and cracking jokes long into the night.

There’s a lot of things he should have done differently. Shouldn’t have let Bartrand come to that damn party, should have gotten Maria’s shady old boss arrested… should have kissed Shay on the couch in her living room while she was giggling madly beside him.

He intends to make up for it now.

“Do they ever explain why the Nugs bleed green?” Shay is sprawled on an old blanket beside him, her arm on his shoulder. “It’s an odd cinematic choice.”

“Nugs are hallucinogenic,” Varric offers gamely. “That’s where the phrase nug-licker comes from. People used to lick them to get high.”

She laughs and shows an elbow into his ribs. “You’re the biggest bullshitter I’ve ever met, Varric Tethras.”

“Besides you, you mean?”

There’s a gleam of challenge in her dark eyes that makes him suddenly very hungry, and not for popcorn. “I’m innocent, ask anyone.”

“You’re about as innocent as those man-eating nugs, Freckles.” Varric wraps his arm tightly around her, allowing his hand to drift to the hem of her skirt. “And just as terrifying.”

“Me?” Shay bats her eyes just the way that drives him crazy. “Have you met Maria?”

“At least I’d know Maria was about to do bodily harm,” Varric insists. His fingers, still clad in his favorite leather driving gloves, trace a line up her thigh and she shivers, eyes drifting shut. “You look all cute and innocent up until…”

He trails off meaningfully. Shay swallows, hard, and just that little gesture is enough to have his cock traitorously stiffening in his pants.

“Until you see my creepy feet?” she asks, grin full of cheerful bravado.

He lowers his voice and breathes the words against her ear, nosing his way through the thick curls. “Until you’re on your hands and knees begging me to fuck you.”

The tiny, delighted gasp Shay makes is enough to have him rock hard in the next second. “Varric-”

He pulls her up into his lap, facing the gigantic screen in front of them. It’s dark and there’s nobody nearby. He feels safe enough to run his fingers up the inside of her thigh, pushing that little skirt of hers up higher while she shudders.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” he whispers against her neck, running his stubbled jaw over the delicate skin. “You and these pretty little skirts, Shay. You’re a menace.”

Just to prove his point she shifts, rubbing her plush ass over the bulge in his jeans until he moans softly in her ear. In retaliation, he lifts one hand to her generous chest and squeezes reverently until Shay chokes on a tiny moan of her own.

“You gonna be a good girl for me tonight, Shay?” he asks, leather-clad fingers brushing over the hem of her underwear. “Or are you gonna be a brat? I’ll enjoy myself either way.”

Before she can answer, he slips his hand under the thin material of her top. Her skin is warm, soft as silk, and the way she shivers underneath his touch has nothing to do with the cool evening air.

“Varric…” she keens softly as his fingers find the clasp of her bra and undo it in one smooth movement. Then her glorious tits are his to peruse. He ceases his teasing touch between her legs only to smooth both hands up her delightful curves until he fills his hands with them.

Her nipples are already rock hard and always so sensitive it takes the tiniest touch to have her whimpering and pressing back into his bulk. He pinches one lightly just as he presses a bruising kiss to Shay’s pale, freckled neck.

“Let’s see how quiet you can stay, Shay.” He rubs his thumbs over her nipples and she gasps softly, writing against him. “If you do a good job, I’ll make you come before we go home.”

“And if I’m a brat?” she asks quietly, barely choking on another moan as he pinches both nipples.

“If you’re a brat, I’m gonna haul you into the back seat of my car and fuck you in it till you beg me to come.”

That does make her whimper, a little sound full of need that goes right to his cock. He inhales greedily against her skin, taking in the scent of her expensive shampoo. She struggles to breathe steadily through his expert ministrations, giving her just the sort of attention Shay craves.

Long, slow, lazy touches that glide up and down her ribs are followed by a rough squeeze, a sharp pinch. Shay whines low in her throat, just soft enough Varric is the only one that can hear her slowly coming undone on his lap. The movie marches on, but Varric isn’t paying attention anymore. He’s got a better show wriggling in his lap against his cock.

“Should have done this years ago, Shay,” Varric murmurs, nipping lightly at her ear and listening to her gasp. “Made all those move nights way more interesting.”

“I wanted you to,” Shay blurts out just as he pinches at her sensitive nipples again. A smug, insatiable bastard inside him springs to life immediately.

“Really, Freckles? You’d have let me do this to you in your cheer uniform?” he asks, pressing a trail of kisses down her shoulder.

“Yes,” she confesses, choking on another groan as one of Varric’s hands drops between her legs again. He strokes her softly through the damp material, listening to her struggle to breathe around her desire. “But you were too on your bullshit-”

His kisses turn a little softer. Apologetic. “I know,” he whispers against her shoulder. “I’m lucky you didn’t move on without me.”

“I did,” she huffs. “I found Solas, and you had Maria. She needed you.”

Maria needs him, and he needs Maria. They do terribly apart, that’s true, but he also needs Shay like he needs the air in his lungs, needs Solas like he needs fresh water.

His fingers circle over her aching clit through the material and she whines again, bucking into his touch to chase him as he teases her. “I’m lucky we all figured it out. Not sure we’d have done it without you.”

“Probably not,” Shay replies smugly.

And it’s attractive, he’s not gonna lie. Varric has always loved confidence in a woman, and nobody wears it as well as his girls, but…

Well, it’s a point of pride that when his fingers sneak beneath her underwear all the breath rushes out of her lungs. It’s even better when he runs his fingers past the soft curls hiding her folds he finds her soaked.

“Swear somebody has been sitting here waiting for me to have my way with you.” He whispers, slipping one finger into her dripping cunt. He feels her go tense in his arms, feels all the moans building in her throat beneath his lips. “Maker, Shay, you’re so wet I bet I could fuck you right now.”

“Please,” Shay finally breaks as he pumps his finger slowly in and out of her, feeling her muscles flutter and clench around him. “Please. I want you to fuck me in your car. Hard. Fast. Now.”

Varric has never heard a better plan in his life, but he pretends to consider it for a couple minutes while Shay begins to ride his finger like the needy little slut she is.

“You’ve been surprisingly quiet, Freckles. Guess we can cut you some slack.”

Shay’s out of his lap like a rocket, tugging her skirt down just enough to cover that perfect ass of hers. She reaches down for his leather duster, fists both tiny hands in it, and tugs him up with all her strength before slotting her lips over his eagerly.

Varric pulls her tight to his chest and loses himself in the feel of her lips giving beneath his. Their tongues slide against each other and Shay sways into his embrace like a princess swooning into his arms.

He knows it’s a little bit contrived, but it’s a damn fine show, and one he can’t resist. In the next moment he spins her around until her back is against the car and his leg is between hers. She eagerly pulls herself against it, riding his thigh, desperate for friction.

Varric’s almost tempted to drag it out, but his cock throbs with needs, and he’s had this fantasy far longer than he wants to admit. Him. Shay. The backseat of Bianca. He intends to thoroughly enjoy the reality.

His fingers scratch against the door handle before he rips it open. Shay makes a noise of protest as he pulls away from her mouth, the look in her eyes pure hunger. He grins and jerks his chin to the car door. “Ladies first,” he says.

Varric sends a little prayer of gratitude to the Maker for the view of Shay’s pert ass diving into the backseat before he follows her. The door barely clicks shut before she’s back in his lap, struggling to find the right angle in the narrow backseat.

In her haste, Varric watches her head whack against the roof of the car. She swears under her breath and he winces sympathetically, catching her round cheeks in his broad palms. “Hold up before you damage your hair, Freckles.”

“Car sex looks so much easier in the movies,” she complains, rubbing at her head with one hand while the other rests lightly on his shoulder. Varric stares into her beautiful, beloved, face with a certain sort of awe.

He’s a lucky man, and he only feels luckier when Shay’s hand travels up his neck to brush his jaw. “Is this why you didn’t want Maria and Solas to come?”

He’s been caught out and he knows it, so he doesn’t bother lying. “Backseat isn’t big enough for all of us, unfortunately. And I’ve wanted you back here for a long damn time, Shay.”

She leans in, brushes the tip of her nose against his broken one, and smiles. “I’m here now.”

She is, and there’s no need to wait. He holds onto her waist with one palm while the other reaches down to undo his belt and zipper. Shay’s small fingers comb through his chest hair while he moans and struggles to free himself. By the time he actually does, he’s near cross-eyed with want.

“Ready, Freckles?” he pants, pushing her underwear aside.

“Yes,” she whines, rolling her hips as best she can. “Please.”

He doesn’t make her beg. Instead, with one grip on her hip and the other on his cock, he guides himself into her slick cunt. She gasps and then moans as he slowly, slowly, sinks into her. By the time he’s hilted inside, she’s trembling like a leaf in a storm and he’s breathless with the strength of his own need.

“Hold on,” he orders, pressing another kiss on her neck. “Hold on, sweetheart, I’m gonna fuck you just the way you like.”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Shay’s sharp cry is so loud Varric yanks her down to muffle them in his shoulder while he hammers up into her. She’s so goddamn tight, so perfect. This is everything he’s wanted, the pinnacle of all his filthy schoolboy fantasies minus the cheerleading uniform, and it’s somehow better than he ever thought it could be.

Because it’s Shay, and he loves her. He always has, and he always will.

She sobs against his shoulder, strung tight as a bow under his rough fucking. His name is a chant in her mouth, whispered against his skin, his ear. He reaches down between them and brushes his fingers softly over her aching clit in a way that gets her nowhere while teasing at everything.

“Tell me you wanna come on my cock, Shay.” He murmurs into her wild curls. “Tell me you want me to fill you up, that you want my come running down your thighs.”

“Yes…” she whines, nails digging into his shoulders. “Varric please.”

She’s so desperate, so heart wrenchingly sincere, he can’t help but give into her. When she’s begging so sweetly in that tone of voice, he may damn well give her anything. She’s so close to the edge, wound so goddamn tightly, it hardly takes but a few strokes of his leather clad fingers before she’s muffling her cries in his shoulder and clenching around him like a vice.

He loses it and thrusts into her with a snarl as she’s still riding her high, taking her with almost brutal intensity while she wails and clings to him. Within minutes he’s following her, shooting into her warm, willing cunt while his hips still buck beneath her.

He falls back into the backseat of his car, exhausted, and pulls Shay into his embrace. They stay like that until he can breathe easily again, until she’s stopped trembling in his arms.

“Varric?” she asks quietly.

“Yeah, Freckles?”

“Can I tell your ex about this?”

Varric huffs a laugh and holds Shay just a bit tighter. “Bold of you to assume Maria didn’t beat you to this same exact thing.”

Shay giggles softly. “I think three of us could fit back here. At least.”

“We’ll try it someday,” he promises, kissing Shay’s temple. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

They arrive home late, but the lights are still on when they open the front door into the small entranceway. Varric chivalrously takes Shay’s coat and she stretches, wandering into the living room.

Varric follows in time to catch Maria and Solas breaking apart. Maria’s up on the counter, wearing nothing but one of Solas’ sweaters hanging enticingly off one shoulder. Solas is bare chested, nothing but that ridiculous necklace of his hiding his lean form.

There’s something bubbling on the stove behind them, but it’s almost midnight, and he swears if they’re just now eating dinner he may scream.

“How was Attack of the Giant Nugs?” Maria asks over her shoulder with a soft, indulgent smile.

“The Giant Nug Invasion,” Shay corrects, “and the nugs were far too cute and innocent. Ask Varric.”

“Except for their creepy feet and ridiculous hair,” he adds.

Shay squawks and turns to slap him on the chest and Solas dips to place one last kiss on Maria’s forehead before he pulls away.

“I made Solas make me grilled cheese and tomato soup,” Maria explains, smirking. “You two hungry?”

“Absolutely ravenous.” Shay bounces up to the counter and clambers up on a barstool, kissing Maria’s cheek. “How’s your project going?”

Maria opens her mouth to answer and Varric just takes a moment to take them all in.

He’s a lucky man, he really is, and he intends to stay that way.

#manka writes #dadrunkwriting #dragon age #female cadash #varric tethras #solas #female cadash/varric tethras #female cadash/solas #female cadash/female cadash/solas/varric tethras #shameless smut #lemon

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abloomntime · 4 years ago

Text

A Bloom In Time Ch26 Nightmares And Shadows

(Warning: Death scene, Mentioning of past death, nightmares, and a light panic attack.)

Cold. Darkness. All of it came rushed over so suddenly. Just like the two heavily armored guards carrying her kicking and screaming self towards the dreaded summer house that housed the royals deep in the snowed up world. That winter suddenly came that year unexpectedly with the freezing winds suddenly whipping around her when she just closed up her stand for the day, pocketing the expensive bracelet she was given as payment and what coins she received as payment, ready to go home. She didn't make much from her flower stand she always wanted, but that was always fine and dandy. She loved the smiles on the children's faces when they'd buy single flowers for their parents, or if she'd sell them flowers in exchange for small things like food. It was one way to get to eat around here. But the chills filling the air that after noon followed by the loud thumping sounds coming towards her were new. Especially when all of a sudden two giant armored men stood over her and seized her without warning. So naturally she resisted and fought against her captors as they took her away.

"LET THE PECK GO OF ME!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!"

The farther down the path they went the more horrified she became. There was ...snow. IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER!! Harsh white and cold wind glared all around her as she gawked around wildly....and then shrieked at the sight of a frozen person as they passed. Their feared expression forever frozen on their face. The poor girl went silent from the numb cold as those blue eyes widened in horror at all the suurounding frozen people as they walked past, never easing up on her grip, or giving any emotion to anything around them as the horrified woman went limp in their arms from shock as they approached the black gates and beyond that was the manor. Her blue eyes flicked up to it. It looked more menacing than it usually did as the entire house loomed over them the closer they got and a sudden feeling of dread filled her up to the very core of her soul as they were swallowed by the shadows and even more coldness bearing down on her. The guards didn't stop until they were going up the stairs and into the home. It was as dark and cold as the outside. Even more so if that was possible. She was still frozen and scared in the grip of the guards when the doors opened and they forced her inside. The inside of the manor was colder than the outside is that was even possible, and if she wasn't already in shock, she would've shrieked at what was awaiting them just a few feet away from the door.

In the darkness of cold and shadows, a hunched over monster made it's way over to them but dared not come further than five feet giving a hiss. Like she was a skunk and this red eyed thing was afraid of her. How strange, but that didn't stop her stop pointing a hand at her, and in possibly the most scariest, raspy voice Poppy had ever heard. Said:

"Take her to the room and lock her away. ...I can't look at her as my prince had done. Perhaps locking her away forever will teach her a lesson about gazing into another man's eyes who belong TO ME!!"

"...WAIT!! WHAT?!" She attempted to struggle again but their strength was too much.

Sadly be the fate of the innocent florist wasn't a pleasant one. As she was marched up the stairs to the very third floor of the manor, the coldness and shadows started to become too much to the point of her screaming and struggling body starting to be overcome by them all. the long hallway they were taking her down ended in a single pair of double doors, the doors surrounded by locks that haven't been locked yet.

The guards marched the poor woman now panicking in their grip flailing about, trying to get out of their grip like a fly in a cold spiderweb to no avail. The two giant guards marched noisily towards somewhere unknown as the third floor rooms and hallways passed them as they marched with seemingly no regard for the woman yelling and pulling between them. Eventually marching down one hallways in particular with a double door room at the end of it, heavy and thick with chains and locks fit for a dungeon instead of a bed room. The two guards went right up to it and before Poppy could even yell out peck again- She was tossed in rather hard. She landed with a giant thud sound and yelped out as her body landed with the freezing cold floor. As her weakly numbing body was pushed into the empty room, she looked up just in time to see the two heavily armored guards slam the doors behind her. She struggled to stand with the cold seeping through all her body but wobbled to the door, vision blurring with nothing but darkness. And it only began to get colder and COLDER!! Poppy groaned from the pain but those blue eyes snapped open at the sudden noise of doors slamming behind her. Panic and adrenaline pumping through her veins and she stumbled to her feet as fast as she could. The rattling of chains and clicking of heavy locks made her fear spike worse and she went to it as fast as she could grabbing the door knob and pushing. Even as all the clicks and locks of the locks were put into place and the floor jostling with the heavy footsteps of the guards stopping away, she fell to her knees against the door and banged her fist against it. Screaming to be let out as the coldness and blackness seeped more into the room and still overtook her form.

"HEY!! WHAT THE PECK!? LET ME OUT!!" The heavy doors creaked from her pushing and pulling and desperately turning the knob. The floor shaking lightly with the heavy footsteps of the guards walking away. The realization of them walking away made her more desperate to get out, and she now went to banging on the door. "H-HEY!! DO YOU LUGNUTS HEAR ME?! I SAID I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING OK?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT IM SORRY OK!! PLEASE!! LET ME GO!! I SWEAR TO YOU I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THAT CRAZY SHADOW LADY SAID!!"

She got no reply and could hear them getting and farther away, panicking she tore herself away from the door. Heart hammering in her ears and eyes scrambling around the dark room for any signs of escape to no avail. No windows. No other doors. Nothing. The coldness was starting to creep in now and the shadows of the room got closer....and closer...... Her panting became faster and in a moment of desperation, she backed all the way to the other side of the empty room and looked at the door. Bracing herself, she ran as fast as she could across the room and rammed her shoulder as hard as she could into the heavy duty door. A thud rang out but there wasn't even a dent in the thick would. Leaving her only falling to the ground and reaching up to rub her sore shoulder from the ramming. The cold slowly creeped closer and closer and the shadows swallowed her whole until her world fell into a black slumber for a thousand years.

Screeching that sounded like bloody murder echoed out through the closed attic and blue eyes opened in a sudden blurry black vision. Someone sat up and more screams were hollered out at two glowing yellow orbs that scattered away from the source of the sounds as whoever was cutting his ears with piercing screams moved back away from him. Blanket uncovering their body and a pillow tossed in the direction of the shadow monster of nightmares coming back for her. .....Well it most certainly WAS a shadow. But NOT the one she just had a nightmare about. This shadow yelped when his face was suddenly wacked by a pillow and as it fell to the floor he shook his head and watched as the panicked woman scattered back from him.

"I'M SORRY!! I'M SORRY!! DON'T PUT ME BACK IN THERE!! I HATE THE COLD!!", she desperately cried out pleading for her life.

"WHAT THE PECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!," A male voice demanded staring down at her with a scowl. "As if I would lock you up!"

"Your majesty?"

Snatcher floated there silently at the sudden title thrown at him from no where. Poppy could feel a rush of adrenaline pumping through her veins and she briefly wondered how fast she could make it to the ever moving platform- A jolt shook her body at the sudden snap noise and a second later blue flames appeared in the hand of the shadow creature who loomed over her, his scowling face softened up to pure confusion as he stared down at her and she stared up blinking at the giant creature. Anyone else would've screamed and ran away but-

"It's ME!," Snatcher said in a slightly grumpy tone but he stopped completely staring at the sudden state of the woman in front of him.

Shaking goosebumped flesh drenched in cold sweat. Raw fear circulating through her body, he could feel it. He could always feel the fear and auras radiating off one's soul and he took delight in someone's fear. It made him strong, powerful. HUNGRY AND EXCITED EVEN!! Yet now. Feeling the soul within her beat and radiate that same fear felt....wrong. Sick. Made him want to spit out ectoplasm. This fear was bad, made him get cold from just being near it so much. Made him want to dive through the floors below to escape the ooze of it until it completely went away when she calmed down. Yet...A force made him remain where he was, looming over her staring and not going anywhere. Fear was something he knew was a powerful motivator for someone like him but the fact remains that....She shouldn't be left alone in a state like this. Confused, lost, eyes small as her heart raced and fear pumped through her, afraid..Alone.

He didn't want to be alone-

".....Snatcher?" The soft voice snapped him out of his stupor and he stared right into those blue eyes registering this shadow as not an enemy.

The yellow eyes loomed closer and she still could barely see even with the light provided. But certainly felt the peach fuzzed like claws gently place themselves on her shoulders like she was a tiny child compared to this creature who needed comfort. "Yeah. Yeah it's me." He said as calmly and softly as possible and was rewarded with a shudder and sigh from Poppy in front of him. Also rewarding him was a choke coming from her throat and fresh tears coming from her eyes in the form of her crying. Making the ghost freeze and stare as a pang of panic shot through his shadowy form. Poppy was- Why was she-....Crying?! Real actual crying like a few times he'd seen her do before but this time it seemed more powerful than the time that stupid statue was chasing her or when the dumb noose 'flirted' with her. He still wanted nothing more than to burn it to ashes and crumble that stone menace to pebbles, but anger right now wasn't going to do him or her any good. And there was no way in peck he was about to leave her like this either. His other hand with the flames snapped letting the fire float in the air so both his hands could be free to help out and hovered above Poppy's shoulder stopping. "Are you.....Is it alright if I touched you?" She sniffed and made a couple more choke sounds from her state but managed to force something out that sounded like 'ok', and slowly a soft arm wrapped around her shoulders and she felt the presense sit down on the floor next to her. Not full on caging her in a hug, but offering her comfort with a arm around her anyways giving her enough space and closeness. Continuing to cry her eyes out, the woman reached her hands up to swipe at those stinging tears from her slightly pink face now. He cringed at the sight but kept his mouth shut, pulling a hankerchief out of no where and holding it out to her silently. It took Poppy a few moments to actually notice it was there but once she did it was yanked from him and held to her tear stained face. Blowing her nose loudly and wiping her tears away from her face. A small blunt 'thanks' was squeaked out from the lady and he still remained silent for a long while. Nothing but her crying and hiccupping and the silence of the attic. ".......Are you feeling better?"

.......She sniffed and nodded without looking at him. "Yeah..I t-t-think so...Thanks."

He hummed and continued to sit there and look at her trying to sniff and clear her face up now. By now he had a pretty good idea of what might've caused such a reaction out of her, but he didn't want to jump the gun and make the situation any more uncomfortable. "What happened?" is what he ended up asking after a few silent moments of thinking.

"Jus' a.....a bad dream." Still not meeting his gaze he saw. Hm.

"What about?" He gently pressed. His ghostly brow rising as he saw her completely still under his hold. Maybe that was too soon to ask. "Do...you want to talk about it? It's perfectly fine if you don't want to."

......She groaned and leaned back into his arm which was pretty sturdy enough for her to lean against and not fall through. Strange. You'd think she'd just pass through it since he can pass through walls but nope, with her head pointed up towards the ceiling eyes closed. "....I don't know anymore. It's just....." Her eyes opened to stare up at the dark ceiling above them. Faint shadows danced in what dim light the one blue flame provided and gold eyes blinked at her from her right. Snatcher's eyes. They looked so much like Jack-o-lanturn eyes. It was kinda funny on a peach feeling purple ghost king. Her heart beats have gone down back to normal by now and now her eyes were just a bit sore from all the crying and rubbing to make the tears go away. "I-....I think I just remembered how I died."

Snatcher couldn't snapped his head down to her faster than when he did eyes widening. "You what?"

Her death. That means-...Did she remember him?! Did she put the pieces together?! Did she know it was all his-...Vanessa's fault she was frozen for over a thousand years and blame HIM?! DID SHE BLAME HIM?! DID SHE EVEN THINK ABOUT HIM?! If he was still alive with a heart beat and lungs, his panic might've been given away by rapid heart beats and irregular breathing that comes with it. But all he managed was a panicked face and quick question. He still remained that way when she turned her head leaning against his arm towards him.

"I said I remembered how I got in that room. What Queen-....What she said. The cold that made me pass out. I remember all of it..including what she said."

What...DID Vanessa say to Poppy before her death- "What did she say?," came his raspy voice in a whisper, but not that Poppy noticed.

"She..W-Well." She sniffed again and wiped at her face. "She definately said to lock me in that room. But she also said something else. Something about gazing into another man's eyes and something else about a prince." Snatcher could feel himself becoming more uncomfortable by the minute as she looked him directly into his eyes with confusion and completely no understanding. "I don't understand any of this. I only knew one prince in my entire life and he was nothing but a friend. Why was I being accused of gazing into someone's eyes? ......it doesn't make any sense to me."

Guilt. That was the first feeling to twist in his misshapen form and give him that empty gut feeling despite not having a body for quite sometime now. Of course it didn't make any sense to Poppy, she didn't have the full story. Barely even a quarter of it. Only her own short encounter about the events that tragically took place over a thousand years ago that all suddenly smacked her back in her face now. And so soon, it was honestly worrying for himself and her. Oh peck. OHPECKOHPECKOHPECK- He was NOT ready for this. Not NOW. Not so soon. Especially not like this. All of a sudden there was Hazelle's annoying voice replaying back into his mind.

"Maybe you two WERE just friends. But thing's aren't the same as they were a thousand years ago, Snatchy. She doesn't know you are...well YOU. And she probably doesn't see you as a friend anymore because she doesn't know YOU you. She probably sees you as a 'boss' when you obviously see her as an old friend and like her more than that. You gotta get all this sorted out soon. Right now it sounds like a giant mess and you need to take a broom to it and sweep all the problematic dust away."

Thanks, Hazelle. She just had to put that thought in his head now. This would stick in his head and act on that guilt for a while-

"Philip."

Snatcher. FROZE. Any thoughts in his head haulting and fizzling into thin air as that one word left her mouth. Anything he was about to say dying on his tongue as those yellow glowing eyes continued to stare dead at the woman staring back at him with that same confused, indifferent expression. It was over. Done. He was absolutely finished. The end of the line for him after only a week. This was how he was going down in flames.

"That was his name. Prince Philip from the south, and he was.....engaged to Queen Vanessa." Her eyes widened as she leaned up and away from Snatcher's arm. Eyes widening with some new revolution flung into her brain and unconciously her hand went to clutch the gold bracelet strapped around her own wrist like it was a life saving device. "Prince Philip was engaged to Queen Vanessa!!" Her eyes snapped back to Snatcher bright with some kind of find as the ghost was still panicking eternally staring at her, not willing himself to move, but scooted back a foot or two and blinked when she quickly pointed at him. "THAT MUST'VE BEEN THE THING SHE WAS GOING ON ABOUT WITH THIS WHOLE TREASON THING!! It all makes a bit o' sense now." Her gaze went back to the bracelet wrapped around her wrist as it breifly reflected the blue fire. She had almost forgotten about it during this hectic weak now, but now...it felt like a HUGE piece of a missing puzzle had been placed down and she felt that empty hollow feeling being almost fully complete as it somewhat made sense now. "That's what she must've been referrin' too. But gazin' into his eyes? I don't get it. I never did such a thing and I definately never committed any kind of treason towards her or Prince Philip."

Well at least she was finally starting to get somewhere and get something. But there was still so so many questions needing answers. Why had the Queen been so insistant that Poppy committed some sort of action against her or the prince? It just made no sense. All she ever did was make small talk with him and sell flowers in the town square. She made sure to follow all the rules, and pay all her taxes. And she was never rude to anyone that didn't deserve a good talking back. If Queen Vanessa and that....thing with the red eyes were one in the same then how did she get that way? Why did she think of all people POPPY was responsible for some crazy bad thing that happened to her? She never even met or spoken to her before that day, not when out of talking to her fiance. And it's not like they were romatically involved or anything. Just spoke two or three times a week when he bought flowers for HER mind you. Was there something she was missing? Was there something that caused all of this she didn't know about? Thinking carefully about what Vanessa told her, she mentioned someone gazing into her man's eyes.......Did that mean that-....THE PRINCE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR BEHIND HER MAJESTY'S BACK?! Unlikely. He seemed so genuinely kind and always went out of his way to help others, and even spent so much money on flowers just for her. There was NO way he could've fallen for anyone else. But-.....It seemed like the only thing she had to go on at the moment.

"He gave me this." She held up her wrist to him and his eyes slowly shifted to the bracelet he gifted her on that fateful day. "In exchange for just a small bouquet of flowers can you believe it?" She gave a small smile at it. "Heh. He was always a strange one. Always studyin' laws an' making sure he paid every pon owed. But he was also really kind and caring to everyone. I can't imagine him actually having any affairs behind her majesty's back-"

"HE DIDN'T!!," he blurted out in a spike of anger startling her and he once again froze.

"How do you know that?," she asked genuinely confused.

OH PECK!! OH PECK!! OH PECK!! What does he do?! What does he do!? He had stupidly blurted that out without thinking!! Well it WAS true. He never had an affair while he was with Vanessa, even if he did fall in love with someone else at the time too, and he made it clear to anyone he wasn't the bad one in that relationship while it lasted. But it seemed that blunt anger towards her got the best of him, and he wanted to smack himself so, SO bad at this moment. He was panicking. Staring at her silently as she was clearly confused and waiting for an answer. THINK YOU FOOL!!!! THINK!!

"UH....I- Um-....I-I-I was there when he was killed." It was the only thing he could think of in the short time he was panicking without arowsing suspicion.

Instead he might've made things a bit worse when she just stared at him suddenly blanking. Making him want to slink back into the shadows where he came. OH P E C K- Her eyes went wide with the suddenly thought bombarding her brain. Snatcher was-....There? Snatcher was there with Prince Philip when he was...SNATCHER WAS THERE!! Snatcher flinched when Poppy suddenly grabbed the front of his body by his chest fluff desperately and he let out a startled yep when she yanked him down eye level with her.

"YOU WERE THERE?! WHAT HAPPENED?! PLEASE!! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!! WAS HE ALRIGHT!?"

"CALM DOWN!!" He pulled himself away and shook his head staring down at her. "Calm down. You-...... *sigh*" He looked sideways away. "You wouldn't like what you hear- UH!?"

He paused when soft hands suddenly clasped onto his and he paused. Yellow eyes staring deep into those blue ones he loved to look at so much when he was alive with heart beat. A pleading look in them as begging fell from her lips, "Please. I-It's...It's important. I have to know what happened. I spent so much time confused over nothing and I HAVE to know......Snatcher, please. Help me."

A silence fell over the two as they just sat there staring at each other in mostly darkness and staring into each others' eyes. Poppy blinked at the feeling of something soft wrapping around her hands and when she looked he was gently holding her hands. Snatcher made a hissing noise, not like a cat hiss but like what it sounded like when someone sucked a breath through her teeth, before releasing it in a long drawn out groan sounding like 'HHHHHHhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa'.

"Are you sure you're ready and willing to hear such things?'' He gave her a narrowed look as if to say 'this is your last chance to back out'. "You won't like what you hear, Red. Might be better if you didn't know."

"I'm positive.," she answered back without any hesitation. She HAD to know what happened. This was connected to her and she was involved whether she liked it or not.

He still eyed her for a moment before looking to the floor unable to look her in the eyes anymore. ".......Vanessa killed him. Just like she did to everyone else....a-a-and y-y-you...."

Poppy couldn't stop her free hand from coming to cover her mouth as he looked down in...shame? Guilt? Regret? Fear?! Not that she noticed, more focused on his words. Well she shouldn't be so surprised as she was expecting an answer like this, but still didn't stop the shock that took over her body. It was like she was light and the floor was sinking. "....H-How...?"

"Just like you. She locked him away until everything froze over. Vane-.....That MONSTER!'', he spat hand slightly tightening as he scowled at the floor, "She was pecking crazy. Thought he was....cheating on her behind her back when he was nothing but patient with her. She didn't deserve anything."

"I-I....I don't understand.." Her breathing hyped a pitch and she could feel her blue eyes glancing back to the bracelet on her wrist. The gold gleaming back. The tremble of her lip came with her own pathetic question. "....why..?"

"Because she was nuts! Always have been and always WILL be! She would've snapped sooner or later with the way she was back then, always so paranoid and thinking I-.....I THINK he belonged to her."

".....She was there..."

He finally looked at her. "What?"

.....Another sniff came outta her. "She was t-t-there when I gave him the flowers. The day she gave me the bracelet." It all came rushing back in a sea of emotions and all she felt was cold gripping her heart as it all came rushing back. The day she was frozen. Before she closed up the stand and gave him the flowers, he said he saw her...Vanessa. Running away from them. Vanessa saw her giving him the flowers he bought. If....If she thought that Prince Philip was cheating on her and saw Poppy giving him flowers then-.....Oh gosh! Her hand pressed firmer against her mouth as the sudden reality hit her hard like a punch to the gut. She felt sick. Like a heavy iceberg was placed in her stomach and wanted out. Her blue eyes shown with rain drop tears flowing as she spaced out. ".....It's all my fault."

........?!

His other hand was quick to shoot out and grab her shoulders accidentally making her jolt at the sudden grab but it was enough to get her to look at him. "Now you listen to me and you listen good." A claw poked her chest as he pointed it at her crying face with a deep frown of his own. "I have dealt with too many years of pecking guilt over whether or not it was my fault or if I could've stopped it! And I'm sick of it all! You. Are. Not. At fault!! Do you hear me?! Vanessa was always going to snap and it was HER fault for being so batpecking crazy, she couldn't tell the difference between fantasy and reality! There was no reason in her! We should've expected nothing less of her for anything! But I'll be just as bad if I didn't it now, and I'm saying it's not your fault. Least of all people you. All you did was sell flowers. Big deal. It would've been the same if she saw m-....him buying a necklace from a jeweler or a ham from the butcher. BANG!!" She flinched at the loud yell he made at 'BANG'. Tears running down her face as he spoke. "Ice. Death. Lots of ghosts. You get the picture. The point is, it's ABSOLUTELY! NOBODY'S PECKING FAULT!! BUT VANESSA'S!! .......You and me didn't do anything wrong." .......She made some kind of whine noise before crying. Leaning her head over until it met the softness of his floof and she cried. Cut off guard for a moment, Snatcher paused glancing down at her before sighing and wrapping her arms around her. Comfortingly patting her back. "Hey, Red. It's gonna be ok. Just go ahead and let it out alright?"

He wasn't sure whether or not Poppy actually heard what he said, but the iron grip that suddenly latched onto him was enough for him to let her cry her eyes out into him without another word. Because...He was gone. Her only friend was just....GONE! Gone in the most worst way she could think of. What did he do to deserve that?! What did any of them do to deserve that?! He had his whole life ahead of him and it was taken from him in one day because of insanity, jealous, greedy woman disguised as a loving Queen. Had...Had she always been like this? According to Snatcher she was. And slowly things started to make sense to it all. Ridiculously banning bacon from the entire kingdom. That one time Philip showed up with half his hair chopped off and died a poor yellow. All the time he acted nervously about anything he had concerning her and waving them off like he was alright with every single thing he did. Deep down she KNEW something was wrong, if not wrong then strangely off. Definately gave her an off feeling, but she never pushed because 1. she never saw it as any of her business and 2. she didn't see the danger behind it until now. But..what if she had seen it? What if- Snatcher's hand came to lay on her head gently and she looked up from the fluffy chest of the ghost to look at him, Snatcher staring simpathetically at her tears before another hankerchief randomly appeared out of thin air and rubbed at her cheeks and eyes.

...She sniffed and leaned into the cloth wiping her face. "T-Thanks. I-.....I needed this more t-than ya know."

"Yeah. I bet." There was another pause as she slowly let go of him and reached up sniffing and grabbed the second cloth offered to her during the duration of the time she woke. He couldn't help but feel awkward and kinda guilty in this situation. This was kinda what he feared but the opposite. Instead of Poppy blaming him, she felt like it was hurt fault somehow when in reality it was none of their faults. ....Maybe it was better he shouldn't have come tonight. He made a move to leave but froze when her hand suddenly latched onto him again.

Her eyes desperate and pleading all of a sudden. "W-WAIT!! P-P-Please..D-Don't leave yet...I d-don't want to be alone."

He stared at her but sighed. "Alright. I'll stay put but only because I promised to help you, Red."

She sighed hald relieved. "T-Thank you."

He hummed and watched as she let go to sniff and fix her face. ".....How are you holding up there? Looks like I should've kept all of that til later."

Poppy shook her head. "N-No. I'm glad you t-told me. I-I needed to know what happened. I couldn't have gone on without knowin' anything. ...T-Thank you."

Sure you could've rang through his head but he decided not to say that part out loud. "So-...I take it this..'prince' friend of yours was a nice person? Not that I knew him, but it seems you two were close. Not that it's any of my business." He had an anxious feeling saying all of this as a stranger but he couldn't help but feel the need to get all this anxiety off himself by asking. "It just sounds like you cared about him a whole lot."

"Y-Yeah. I did actually." She gave a slightly trembling smile at him. "H-He was one of the only friend's I had. Honestly he was a really nice guy, super honest and polite too. He was always able to put a smile of everyone's face and didn't mind talking about anythin' really. It was like he wasn't a prince at all and just a normal, everyday regular person stoppin' by to get flowers. ...He was also the reason my stand had so much success as it did."

Snatcher looked to her in slight surprise. "He was?"

She nodded. "You see. When I first got to town I had a real hard time settlin' in. Not only did he save mah behind from falling on the ground like a babe learnin' how to walk, but he also started buying my precious flowers for ...You know who. Now a prince buyin' mah flowers all the time was sure to catch someone's attention and by golly did it! It was thanks ta him I had a decent business going for myself. ....But I kinda feel guilty over it now. I didn't mean ta piggyback ride off o' him or nothin'."

"I'm sure you didn't." She looked at him and for once Snatcher was genuinely smiling at her without the 'evil' or smug aura to it. "If you sold flowers good enough to catch his attention then you deserved to get what attention you got. You didn't hitch a ride from him, you were just getting what you always wanted with a little assistance."

"Hm...I reckon when you put it that way I guess you got a point."

"Yeah.....Hey. This might sound out of no where but do you blame him, your friend, for what happened between him and Vanessa?" There is was all out and awaiting an answer.

Poppy stared at him frozen for a second processing what he said but as soon as it sank in- "WHAT?! PECK NO!!" She scowled at him crossing her arms. "Why the PECK of all people would I blame Philip?! Maybe he didn't see the crazy but neither did I and I still didn't see it when she was starin' me straight in the face! You were there when it happened right?!"

"I- Uh-...Y-Yes."

"And even you said it wasn't his fault right?!"

"OF COURSE I DID!! I WAS JUST ASKING YOUR OPINION!!"

"WELL MAH PECKIN' OPINION IS THAT HE WAS INNOCENT!!"

"GOOD! IM GLAD!!"

"FINE!!"

Both pouted a bit with frowns but on the inside Snatcher felt an overwhelming state of relief and happiness fall over him. So Poppy didn't blame him, good. Not that it was ever his fault in the first place, but now a lot of dead weight was lifted from his shoulders. One less thing to worry over now it seemed. But Poppy paused in her movements to blank out and stare at him. Wait. Snatcher was there when Philip was-.....Then did that mean he saw what happened? Well obviously yes. He said so himself. Her curious side kicked in and she couldn't help but find her interests peeking through and a whole knew slew of questions arise, she couldn't help it. After all she knew nothing about this ghost tho he seemed good enough.

"How did you die?," she found herself blurting out before she could stop but she instantly regretted it.

"WHAT?!" Snatcher whipped his face to her wide eyed.

"S-Sorry." She held up her hands worriedly. "Is it rude to ask a dead person that? I d-didn't know honest. It's just that.....You're doin' an aweful lot for me and I don't know a lot about ya, since you already know alot 'bout me from my rambling. I figured ya would return the favor."

"Sorry. NO can do, Red. That's private information."

She scowled again. "OH come on! Purple onion. Your contract paper thingy said I could ask for anything I wanted in return for helping ya!"

"Within REASON!," Snatcher stressed, "Asking a ghost about their past is like asking a poor person how much money they spent on their shoes!"

"UUUUHHH!!! I swear sometimes you can be more childish than those girls!"

"So can you!"

"UGH!! Alright! Why don't we compramise?," she offered and that got Snatcher's attention. "I don't think it's fair you're still essentially a stranger to me. So how about you answer just a few questions 'bout ghosts an stuff, but you don't have to answer any ya don't like. Deal?"

".....Hmm....Deal." he crossed his arms and looked at her with a raised brow, "What do you want to know, Red?''

"Well my first question asked would be nice. You don't have to go into detail," She added seeing Snatcher's eyes narrow.

"Mmm." He REALLY didn't want to say anything. It was still too early for this even if he was more at ease now but since he didn't really have to go into detail- "Same as you. I died during the Great Subcon Freeze."

"Oh. Well you said you saw what happened when Philip....p-p-passed away, right? Does that mean you were employed by the Queen?"

OH PECK- HOW WAS HE GONNA ANSWER THAT!? He chose to shrug and as calmly as he could said. "Sorta. I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time." Which wasn't really a lie. He couldn't have ever been in a more wrong place or time. "Another innocent bystander to a crazy curse."

"Oh. Well how are you a ghost?"

Another shrug. "Beats me. A lot of other people are ghosts, you've seen them. Most of them can't even remember who they were in life. Don't know how or why so don't ask. Just the way it is."

"Does that mean you remember who you were?"

"Obviously I do. Otherwise I couldn't tell you anything."

"Oh right. Dumb question. Then who wer-"

"Next question!," he answered fast which caught her off guard but she shrugged it off. Obviously he wasn't comfortable with that.

"Alright. Don't get your long tail in a knot." Looking over him she wonder how a soul such as thing could be so big...Souls? "That's another thing. Why did you want mah soul when I first met ya?" This time he actually paused. This question was one he hadn't been expecting and one he hadn't really thought of a cover for. "How WAS he supposed to explain that ghastly part of his afterlife to her without sounding like a heartless monster- "Do you really eat them?"......Wot? She made a grimace like she had bitten into a lemon. "That sounds so terrible and gross! Do all ghosts eat other ghosts?"

..........He blinked. Did she really think that he ate- "WHAT?! No! I don't really eat them! I can't eat anything! Im pecking dead for crying out loud! I just use that to intimidate intruding fools! I take souls as servants for tresspassing into people's burial grounds! At first you were no different, just another person intruding into my domain without permission-"

"Then why did you all of a sudden decide to help me?" She asked crossing her arms. "You could've just taken me as a servant then and there." ...Snatcher rose a brow. "Ok! Well ya technically did, but I mean what made ya decide to help me? I just don't get it."

Snatcher went oddly silent at her question. She didn't get it. Of course she didn't get it and she never would if he could help it. So he decided to play it safe for now and give her an honest answer. "Because I recognized you from the village." It's true, he did. But his answer took her by surprise as he carefully cherry picked his next words carefully with a sigh. "I-...Sometimes saw you selling flowers in the square, and-.....I guess I was simpathetic to someone else in a similar situation as I was." Which weren't lies either and safe enough to say without having his identity compramised.

He saw her in the village? Did that mean he was one of the villagers? Maybe someone who worked in the summer house and lived in the village. She met a couple of people who would brag about being employed at the Queen's summer home when she wasn't in her palace. If so, then it would all make sense about why he knew her and how he was able to see the prince's demise. Actually that would explain everything and how he knew her if she sold him flowers before. A little assurance and calm was delivered to her with that revolation and she smiled at him like she solved the entire puzzle and it was complete. And to her it was complete. Except for one tiny little thing.

"So....does that mean Philip is a g-ghost too?"

He figured she'd ask that by the way things were going. So he sounded like he took a giant breath even if he didn't have lungs and sighed. How was he suppose to answer? By telling the truth of course! Just not in the way one may think. "A ghost? Well that's not exactly easy to answer." Which was true it was hard for him to answer that when the answer was obviously yes and staring at her right here. In front of her, but also because he was. NOT. PECKING. READY. To tell her. "Any ghost I know if they even became ghosts would be in the forest .....or another plain of existance." Which again wasn't a lie. All the ghost he DID know lived in his territory except for Moonjumper who was bound to the horizon.....Huh. Speaking of which he hadn't seen him in a while now. Oh well. Less problem for him to worry about. "A-And like I said BARELY any of my minions remember who they were before they died." Which also wasn't a lie. So technically he NEVER lied to her and didn't compramise his identity. PERFECT!!

"Oh. I..see."

Poppy looked down to her hands laid in her lap and the gold shining from her wrist. So it would be almost impossible for her to see him again then huh? Considering if Prince Philip became a ghost at all there was still the part where even if she did find him neither would be able to tell according to Snatcher. And even if by SOME miracle he WAS a ghost and he COULD remember her, then he might even be on a different plain of being which was highly unlikely she'd be able to get to. So it'd be useless to persue that idea even if all of those factors were even possible. ....She looked back up when metal rattled against the floor and Snatcher stared at the very end of his tail. She guessed Snatcher could see perfectly in the dark compared to a human because he bluntly pointed at something she couldn't see on the floor and asked.

"Are those garden tools in a golf club bag?"

Garden to- OH!! She completely forgot about those she was so tired! Poppy rubbed her neck sheepishly. "Uh.....Y-Yeah. W-We went out earlier today an' I guess I forgot ta put them away before I fell asleep. Sorry bout that."

Snatcher turned to her with light surprise. "Wait a minute. You LEFT the ship and went somewhere by yourself without telling ME?!"

She frowned. "Hey! I was gettin' antsy just seeing nothin' but space all day! And if ya haven't noticed it's kinda cramped up here. I need space to walk around freely so I don't have to crawl, and last time I checked I was an adult who didn't need no supervision. 'Sides! I wasn't alone. Cookie 'n those girls of yours were with me the whole time."

Snatcher brought a hand up to rub his temples groaning. "And the LAST time you went somewhere 'not alone' with those two I had to save your sorry butt. I swear you'll only get in trouble if you run around in places you shouldn't."

.....She nervously laughed and looked away. "W-W-Well..about that..Uh-''

"What did you do?," he asked without room for arguement. Removing his hand to bare his eyes into her nervous smile.

"Nothing. Just some shoppin' with the girls. Got some new dresses......And maybe I destroyed some fancy whatcha-mah-call-it machine and in order to play for it I agreed to be in a Moon Penguin's play."

"..............YOU BROKE WHAT AND REPAYING IT HOW?!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't have enough pons, and Mr. Grooves was so nice. He even said I didn't have to pay a single pon if I worked for free! I panicked! I didn't want debt on mah name!!"

"OH! FOR THE LOVE OF- HOW DID YOU EVEN BREAK IT?!," he asked annoyed.

"I ......leaned my tools against it? hehe."

A loud smack filled the room making her jump and it took her a moment to realize Snatcher had facepalmed himself HARD groaning. "I leave for ONE WHOLE DAY and you end up being in trouble. Is there anything ELSE I should know about?"

"I yelled at a crazy yellow owl."

"What?," he looked up from his hand at her and she nodded.

"Yeah. At least I think it was an owl. He did have feathers. Biggest loud mouth I'd ever met! HUH!" She frowned recrossing her arms. "He said I had to work for 'em just because I accidentally knocked over the thingy. I told him where he could stick it if he ever wanted my help! HMPH!!"

There was a pause of silence as Poppy frowned at nothing in particular and Snatcher continued to stare at her with a blank expression-.......SNRK!! She glanced up from what sounded like a covered snort and too her surprise the spook was....Smiling?? No. Not just smiling. He was trembling lightly as he smiled down at her biting into his bottom lip...Before the flood gates opened and he full on laughed. His loud raspy voice echoing throughout the dark room leaving Poppy bamboozled. Why was he laughing? She didn't think she said anything funny. Was he laughing because she was in trouble again?

"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!" A clawed hand grabbed her shoulder as he leaned over with the other hand holding his middle as he continued to laugh like no tomorrow. "W-WAIT! *wheeze* *COUGH COUGH COUGH*" She blinked surprised to hear a ghost somehow have the need to wheeze or cough to regain breath without lungs or a body...But she'd seen a lot of weird things now so who was she to be surprised? He still went back to laughing one eye open to look at her his voice happy sounding and trembling. "Y-Y-You mean a-...Ahahahaha!! D-Did he call every one a p-p-p-peckneck?! Haha!!"

....She blinked and frowned again. "Yes! A very RUDE man! Threw a tantrum like a little kid and I told him to find me once he learnt some respect and acted like an' adult!"

"PPPPFFFFFTTTT!!" He fell back into another laughing fit much to her confusion. " AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YOU SHOULD'VE D-D-DEFINATELY TOLD ME YOU WERE LEAVING! *wheeze* I-...I- OH P-P-P-PECK!! I WOULD'VE PAID TO SEE THAT OLD BIRDBRAIN'S FACE W-W-WHEN YOU TOLD THE FOOL OFF!!"

Now she smiled. "I take it you know him?" She had to wait for his laughing fit to die down and him to 'catch his breath' before he could look at her with a straight face and answer clearly. He nodded yes to answer her question at least.

"A few times. More of a peckneck than me!" He wiped at his face. "I wish I was there to see THAT! Worth more than gold!"

"Oh. What are you doing here anyways? It's the middle of the night."

He seemed to remember something as he sat up and reached behind him. "Right. I finished fixing your dress. Guess I lost track of time and didn't know you were resting. My apologies for that." He pulled out a blue dress from no where and besides the stains(which she couldn't see in the dark anyways) it looked brand new as he handed it over without a second thought. "Here. But don't expect me to become your personal tailor, Red. This was just a one time deal for you."

Poppy stared stunned at the dress as she took it and ran a hand over the mended parts. "It feels like it was never ripped!" She smiled wider at him. "Thank ya! I guess you do know what you're doin' after all."

His smile couldn't have been more smug as he examined his claws. "Well I never lie about my skills."

She smiled again before looking over the dress the best she could in the dark. "It was mighty kind of you. I kinda feel bad 'bout you going through the trouble of it now since I got me some more. That lil sweetheart of yours did too."

"Oh?"

She smiled chuckling. "Poor thing got all drenched but I think that was my fault too. A couple of them silly ol' birds mistook me as her mo-....." Poppy suddenly paused...staring at her dress for a moment but the sudden cut of conversation didn't get past the spook who stopped smiling and stared at her more.

"Is something bothering you?"

"Well now that I think about it...How did those two come to be under your wing anyhow?" She looked at him with a raised brow. "An alien being raised by a ghost? It's the most strangest thing I've heard about. Where's their mothers? Where's their family?"

....Snatcher gave a frown not directed at her and stated, "I am their family. We have each other and that's all we need."

"Well, yes. I know family goes beyond blood...Or in your case flesh and blood I suppose. But I don't just get how they came in your care if you don't let anyone in that forest." Snatcher remained silent staring at the floor and for a moment Poppy thought she stepped over a line. DUMMY!! Who was she to ask someone who adopted two lil girls!? It was none of her business! "I-I'm sorry. That was rude of me ta ask. It won't happen a-"

"They're orphans."

She blinked and stared at him. "Uh.....What?"

"I said they're orphans. They have no one else." Yellow eyes looked to her again. "You want to know where they came from?" .....When she didn't answer he continued. "I don't know anything about Bow's past and neither does she. As far as I know she was raised in a crummy orphanage her whole life before she decided to run away and get tangled up in the mess Hattie made when she first arrived."

"Oh. Im so sorry...How did you come to adopt an alien if ya still don't mind me askin'?"

He huffed a chuckle and smiled bittersweet. "That little lady caused problems the moment she arrived on the planet with her time pieces. I won't go into detail, but let's just saw she almost caused the world to be destroyed and saved it too. She's a special something that I've never seen."

"If she arrived on this planet, doesn't that mean she has family back on her own planet?"

"You would think that at first." He shook his head grimly scowled. "But no. It's what I thought at first too when she originally left, but then she came back and refused to leave even after she got every single one of those cursed time pieces. Turns out she never had anything there to begin with."

Poppy's eyes widened. "W-W-What happened?"

"Long story short war."

"A war? Over what?"

"Over those...things. They're too dangerous for even her to use beyond a few simple things. Her family ..or what was left of it. Made those things to control people. As you would expect a lot of people with greedy intentions would want to get their hands on something like that, so in order to protect herself...She left."....He looked up out the attic windows for a moment with...pity on his face staring at the black void of stars. "I don't know how long she was out there and I don't know why she wanted to go back to where she came from or what happened to make her flee again. Never asked. But I also never questioned it when she came back and decided not to leave again. She's a smart kid. Here there's people who care about her and want her to be safe...Forever." He mumbled that last part to himself but she didn't hear. "I-......I couldn't just leave them vulnerable sitting there like dead ducks. They needed me...and..I-I-I guess in a w-way I r-really needed someone like them too."

He jumped when he felt someone grab his hand snapped back down to stare at sorrowful blue eyes gazing up at him. Poppy was gently squeezing his hand. ".....I-....I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you. And them. I really am. You seem like a really nice person even if you can come across as a stubborn purple onion. For what you did...There's really no other noble thing than a good father is there?"

He still stared at her.....then to where she was holding his hand, and a bright yellow hue flushed his cheeks as he coughed and looked away. "I-....Suppose you're right. Anyways, all this talking is distracting me from my work! You have your dress and feel better obviously-"

"Could you please stay? At least until I fall back asleep...I-...I'd appreciate it a lot if ya did."

He stared at her a moment before waving a hand still blushing yellow. "Fine. But don't expect me to do this again. Because guess what? Im not legally obligated too."

She smiled. "Sure, Snatcher."

She giggled and got up to presumably get back in her floor bed and he watched her go. .....She thought she was a good father huh? And she was mistaken as Bow's mother? His hand slowly closed itself as he watched her. Well. Every child deserves a mother didn't they? And who better deserved a mother than his little devils? She just needed some time to realize it.

#flowercrown #The Florist #a hat in time florist #A hat in time the florist #A hat in time the florist x snatcher #a hat in time snatcher #A hat in time snatcher x florist #a hat in time snatcher x the florist #A hat in time florist x snatcher #Snatcher x the florist #the florist x snatcher #florist x snatcher #snatcher x florist #Florist #ABloomInTime

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newobsessionweekly · 5 years ago

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Only you 🌿

a/n: @liarliss requested it! I honestly apologise because it’s SO LONG but I liked this idea so much. Thank you!! I hope you like it! I’m so angry because I have the perfect gif for this post but I’ve went over Tumblr’s number of words so they don’t let me :((((((. And also stay safe and tuned. There are more coming! Enjoy! 🌿❤️ word count: 2.652

Arón Piper x reader🌿

The bed is empty againg for the third night this week. You miss him, you miss his touch, you miss his kisses. You miss all the moments you had together. The trip you took together to Ibiza for your three year anniversary seemed like it happened a century ago. You didn’t even had dinner together since two weeks ago. He’s the sweetest person alive, he’s smart and so talented, you find him perfect in any way. But something happened to him in the past weeks, you couldn’t tell exactly what, but he was changed. He started going out with his friends every night and coming back after you fall asleep on the couch waiting for him or even didn’t come back at all. Some mornings you wake up with a text from him telling you how sorry he was because he stayed the night at Omar or some other friend and didn’t tell you about it, instead of waking up with him beside you. You didn’t mind at first because you needed to study, but you still wanted him to come behind you and rub your back or hug you tight when it felt like everything was too much.

It was already past eight when you texted him. He never stays this late on set. You wished this wasn’t another night you had to sleep alone. You got tired and your heart hurts you so much watching him doing this. You don’t even managed to find a reason for his behaviour. It was your fault? You haven’t done anything wrong. When on the screen of your phone popped a new message, your heart trembled. But it wasn’t Arón telling you he’d be home soon. It’s Danna, your dearest friend asking you if you would want to catch up at the bar, trying to cheer you up. You‘ve met because of Arón at the premiere of Élite Season 2 and bonded a beautiful friendship. She is so sweet and funny, a caring person and so lovable. No one could ever hate her.

“Esta bien, de acuerdo” you responded to her text and let a sigh out. What could go wrong? You can’t stand being alone in this big house. You changed really quickly into something worthy of getting out in and left the apartament only with your phone, keys and some money. You are not planning to stay long in case Arón comes home. In the cab you recieved a message from Arón telling you he was at Miguel’s place helping him out with something. You frowned as your eyes became wetty and your chest pressed by a weight too heavy, making hard for you to breath properly. That was the last drop and the glass was full. You closed your eyes and tried to breath in and out several times in order to calm down. This night is your night and nothing could ruin it. As you approached you saw Danna and Ester chattering outside the bar, waiting for you. You blinked to make the tears disappear and put the brightest smile on your face. The girls embraced you and when you tried to enter the bar, Danna staied behind and looked at you, “You know, we always go to the same bar every time. Why wouldn't we change the location this time?”

“What's up with you? We just got here.” you regarded her.

She asked Ester for help by looking, but you realised something is going on. You turned and looked inside the bar trying to figure it out, but your heart stopped as you saw your boyfriend there, at a table with Miguel, Omar and some other people. There are some empty beer bottles on the table along with an almost full ashtray. You swallowed the lump and shaked your head as Danna placed her hand on your shoulder. You bypassed Ester and entered the place, going through it as you made eye contact with Miguel and saw his expression changing. You sat down at the bar ordering a Mojito while Danna and Ester accompanied you.

“(y/n), what happened?” you drank from one sip and ordered another one.

“Nothing, let’s drink, chicas!” you could see only Arón’s back, but that was enough to make you feel like crap.

-------

Some drinks later and too many glances at Arón, you saw him moving and coming to order maybe a new round of beers. A gem of mixed emotions formed in your stomach at the thought that you are not ready yet to confront him. He indeed ordered a new round of beers and he didn’t even noticed you.

“Danna?” he noticed her.

“Hola, Arón” she smiled trying to cover you, but he saw you anyway.

“(y/n)? What are you doing here?” he forced a smile, approaching you.

You sighed, “I’m out with my friends. Or only you are allowed to do that?”

“What’s the matter with you? Joder, you are such a pain in the ass sometimes!” you couldn’t believe what was he saying. His eyes were so red and you could tell how much alcohol he consumed: a lot.

You rolled your eyes, “I’m a pain in the ass? Excuse me that I care because I had to sleep without my boyfriend three days in the last week.”

You frogot about the people around you,“Yeah, well this is your fucking fault-”

You stopped him,“How’s this my fault?”

“You are so possessive and you never let me beath, Jesus!” Miguel approached and placed his hand on Arón’s shoulder. He has a rough facial expression and you could read only anger from his eyes. He hated you that much? You couldn’t find anywhere the sweet Arón that you fall for. Instead of him, there is this angry guy looking menacing at you.

“Come on man, before you say something you would regret later.” Miguel didn’t looked very drunk, actually no one of Arón’s friends were as drunk as he.

“No, the girls wants la verdad.” he shaked his head and faced you. “You know why I’m out there fucking girls every night? Because you just don’t understand my life and my needs, you’re not a public person like I am. And you will never be, because you are not good at anything! You don’t know how to make me happy anymore.” A sight heard and surprisingly it wasn’t yours. His words shocked everyone because they know how much you love eachother. Especially how much he loves you. Loved you. A tear fall down on your cheek but didn’t bother to wip it away. You were right when you said he has changed. His words stinged you in the heart, you didn’t know who is this man anymore.

“How can you say that?” your voice is shaky. “After everything I’ve been through beside you?After all those moments I waited for you and forgave you everything? After so many times I came back?” Danna tried to grab your hand and show you she’s there for you, but you avoided her touch.

“Maybe that’s the problem, you know? You came back every fucking time. Maybe I hoped that you wouldn’t come back!” your anger pumped into your body as the breathing accelerated. “Come on, Arón, don’t say that!” nobody really dared to say something, but Miguel knew both of you would regret all those words sooner or later. It’s so embarassing to have an argue in front of so many people. “No. Maybe you are right. Maybe I did wrong coming back, maybe I care too much and maybe I tried too much to save something that died a long time ago. Maybe I tried to ignore all the nights out and everything you did because I love you, stupid. But that’s over, as you wished.” You didn’t even bother to hide the fact that he hurted you so much and let those tears run down your cheeks. You sighed, “I can’t do this anymore.” Danna looked at you concerned as you managed to put your shit together and grabbed the stuff you had. Arón seemd to revive because of your words, but everyone were watching him like he did the biggest mistake of his life. You turned to look one more time at Arón. “And don’t worry, the apartament will be cleared until the morning when you’ll manage to come back from one of your chicks.” you laughed ironically. You left the bar under everyone’s eyes. Arón stood there still unable to do anything and watched you as you left with Danna following you closely. “(y/n), wait!” Danna attentioned. You stopped just to call a cab and get away from there. “(y/n), he’s drunk. He didn’t mean it.” “Danna, it’s done, alright? Let’s move on!” It was two in the morning and the cab arrived quickly. You love Spain so much, Madrid was your home for more than three years, however you have nowhere to go but home. You get into the taxi with Danna never leaving your side. Staring at the bright city, you felt leaked of powers. You didn’t want to fight anymore, you had enough. As you arrived at the flat and started to grab everything from its place to stuff into the luggage, you started crying. You finally let those emotions to consume properly and Danna helped you, though she didn’t agree with any of this. She said he was just drunk and stressed, he didin’t meant any of those words. But he did, he wanted to hurt you and he succeded. “What are you doing?”, Danna asked as you turned on the computer. “I’m printing the plane tickets. In the morning I have a flight to Italy.” you shrugged. “That’s good taking a break and visiting your parents.” she smiled with compassion. “I’m moving back home, Danna.” ------- The morning found you in your way through the airport, leaving as soon as possible Arón’s apartament, in case he would came back. You took all of your things and gave him back all the t-shirts and hoodies you’ve been wearing through the years. The memories are haunting you, they are literally everywhere. Those moments from the night before didn’t made you love him less, but now you are afraid that you might never fall out love with him. Three years he had been your best freind, lover, brother and dad, all in one, made you feel so much love and even thinking he might be the one you end up with. Sometimes when you had dinner together, you let that crazy mind of yours to fly away and imagine you and him, one day, married and even with a kid. You ironically laughed and caught Danna’s strange look. She never left your side, take care of you, made you breakfast and hold you while crying. And there she is, beside you because she doesn’t want you to get through this alone and flights are always so emotional. You arrived an hour earlier, always being maybe too punctual. Arón used to say that you are exaggerating with the plans you made for being able to get somewhere in time. But he used to say that he loved that so much about you. You somehow managed to find those brown curls you love so much among the hundreds of people in the waiting area. You stopped suddenly and grab Danna’s hand, “It’s here.” Your voice sounded strange and she raised an eyebrow at you, “Arón is here!” “How did you recognised him through this milions of people here?” she rolled her eyes. “At least we know you are still obsessed with him.” “You are terrible!” you slapped her hand gently as she smiled devilishly. You stare at him as you approached. He was wearing black sunglasses, looking at the floor, bouncing nervously his leg. Beside him was Miguel, with a hand on his shoulder, talking. He didn’t looked like he was paying attention. You tried to pretend you didn’t saw them, but Miguel’s voice ruined your plan. “Danna, (y/n)! What a surprize!” he smiled at you. Arón instantly searched for your sight. You avoid looking towards him because you know you would melt immediately and would forgive him. “(y/n)...” Arón stood up and made a few steps into your direction. You didn’t move, but still avoiding him. “Please at least listen to him. He cried all night and he’s more heartbroken than ever.” Miguel whispere to your ear and then pat your shoulder before retiring with Danna. He took a deep breath, “I’m the most stupid man in this world, (y/n). I know I’ve hurted you so much, not only now, but in the past years. But I have an explanation for the last weeks.” “Please skip the details and the numbers of girls you have made out with.” your heart broke only imagining those things. “It was only one girl, but I don’t remember her name. That all, only one girl two weeks ago. It was stupid. I mixed drugs with alcohol and it wasn’t a good choice. When Miguel found me...” he stopped and you could see some tears running down. You cupped his cheeks and wipped them away. You gave him half of a smile, with your eyes witty as well. “When Miguel found me, I was passed out, with some girl next to me.” You were crying too, thinking of him that way made you crazy. He wasn’t cheating, he was under the influence of drugs, those things washed his brain. “I was so angry at myself and afraid. I was more afraid because of your reaction at the fact that I tried those shitty things than you knowing I fucked a random girl. ‘Cause you know it was a big mistake that sober I would never do, right amor?” You let a sigh out as you wipped your tears away. You couldn’t see him properly, “Why have you done those things? Why did you tell me those words last night?” “When I came home the other day and you welcomed me with the brightest smile and told me how much you missed me though I’ve been away only one night, I felt like a monster. When you told me that day how proud you are of me, I realised what amazing woman I had beside me over the years”, he was hurting too. “You could have told me-” you started, but he stopped you right away. “No, I couldn’t. If I would have told you, you would have hated me so much. I deserve it. But I tried to fix it. The boys helped me through the past weeks, but when I saw you last night, I realised you would never forgive me. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. But I made a scene, thinking if you would maybe scream, you would make me hate you as much you hate me. But you didn’t, you showed me how perfect you are.” he tried to speak among sighs. “I don’t hate you, amor! Telling me this tings, even two weeks after, showed me how brave you are. You don’t realise, but if I were you, I wouldn’t ever have the guts to tell you. I don’t hate you and I don’t love you less than when I fall in love with you.” Before everything, you hugged so thight, like this embrace could erase the past weeks and what you’ve been through. You saw in distance Danna and Miguel looking at you smiling, and they high-fived proudly. He kissed you so sweet. You missed this. You missed his touch, his smell, his lips, his smile. You missed him terribly. “This is the last call for the flight to Italy!“ You smiled at him as you grabbed the two tickets from your backpack,“That’s our call.” He laughed and shaked his head, “You are amazing!” You started to walk towards the gate holding hands after he kissed your forhead.

#aron #aron piper #aron x reader #aron piper x reader #aron imagine #aron piper imagine #aron piper fanfic #danna paola #miguel bernardeau #elite #elite netflix #elite imagines #elite fan #elite imagine #netflix #Fan fiction #aron fan fiction

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thetimelordbatgirl · 4 years ago

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Marvel Descendants OCs

Acknowledgment: When Marvel Descendants was first written in 2015, one year after I joined Tumblr, at the time I wasn’t aware of how bad certain things were and while I am aware this is a bad excuse for what I’m about to acknowledge, it’s all I have really for what I wrote into Marvel Descendants at 14-15 as back then, I was into DC’s Kingdom Come and when I saw them ship Nightstar and Ibn al Xu'ffasch (pre-Damien Wayne), I didn’t see anything wrong with it and as a result, used the adopted family excuse for shipping Locket Lokidottir and Theo Thorson. Now that I am older and know more over the years, I wish I had known back then, but I wasn’t deep into Tumblr until December 2014 and even then, it took me until a while back to realize Marvel Descendants was wrong for that, but by that point, book 5 confirming the ship two married in the future, was out and while its too late to fix canon, I try to fix it in AUs and ship the two with other characters. Any other issues within Marvel Descendants, I am trying to fix and hope to avoid in the future as I continue writing.

Description of Marvel Descendants: Marvel Descendants is a marvel version of Disney Descendants that follows The Isle of the Lost, Descendants 1 and Wicked Wold in first two books and mini-spin off and goes on its own plot in book 3, with it now being tied @disneyfan50 ‘s series, Descendant of Loki, starting from the team up/crossover, Daughters of The Trickster, with the series continuing on right now with planned future installments and AUs.

Timeline so far:

Book 1: The Area of The Lost. Summary: Twenty years ago, all villains from Loki to Doctor doom were sent to the lost part of asgard with a shield around it to keep them there and them from ever escaping. The villains and their children now live in total isolation, forgotten by the world. But now there is a price for grabs, Loki's sceptre, could be their chance of escape, but they have to prove their more then willing to do anything evil to get hold of it. In their quest, they also learn, that being good can also help and isn't so bad at all sometimes. Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/6739788/The-Isle-of-the-lost-Marvel-Version/1

Book 2: Descendants: Marvel Version. Summary: Thor's daughter is about to be crowned goddess of lightning when she suddenly requests for the children of the villains to be given a chance at redemption. When their parents give them a task to get hold of the Tessaract so they can take over the world, the children of Loki, doctor doom, Sabertooth, the leader and the Mandarin and the granddaughter of red skull, have their own choice to make, be good or be evil like their parents. Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/6677501/Descendants-Marvel-Version/1

Book 3: Marvel Descendants: The Art of Mischief. Summary: Its been a week after tori's crowning of her title and the attack of doctor doom and the villains kids have been living a normal half term, well, as normal as they could get anyway, but now school is on again, but also, a old enemy is rising in the darkness of asgard, and he is out for revenge on asgard and earth. Sometimes, heroes are born at different points and sometimes, its not a good move to judge someone based on their look or their background.... Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/6814801/Marvel-Descendants-The-Art-Of-Mischief

Mini-Spin Off: Marvel Descendants: Wicked World. Summary: The marvel descendants are back, and good is the new bad in this case, with drama and pranks and mischief and of course, the children of the heroes and villains, this is wicked world. Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/6924709/Marvel-Descendants-Wicked-World/1

Crossover with @disneyfan50 : The Daughters of The Trickster. Summary: When a portal opens unexpectedly in Locket's room, another girl falls out. Her name is Lilith Lokidottir, the daughter of another Loki from and alternate universe. The tides of evil are rising, and at their helm is none other than the Queen of Darkness herself. Can Locket and Lily stop this menace together? Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/6859006/The-Daughters-of-the-Trickster/1

Book 4: Marvel Descendants: The Trickster’s Curse. Summary: Life is starting to go back to normal for Locket lokidottir, daughter of loki, the battle against mariana over, but that doesn't mean that there is not a effect in all of this. There is a curse on the school coming out, and it may be lockets and theos fault, when Loki though falls to it next, locket, theo, tamora and a new ally, lucy selvig, have to find the cure and put a end to this curse before it continues, but who set it? who left it? why is it affecting locket and her father the most? and why does darkness and poison come with it? Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/6984816/Marvel-Descendants-The-Tricksters-Curse/1/

Book 5: Marvel Descendants: Sins of The Past. Summary: Its the year 2032- and things have changed. The X-Men have failed in their one mission: to get human acceptence. Now mutants, metra-humans, off world people and even humans who were assoicated with mutants or could have mutant kids, are either in prison, on the run or killed. Jackie Haller leads a group against this and they have a plan- go back in time to save the future. In 2016, the past is about to commit the one act that makes this happen without knowing it..... The resistance in the future are on a ticking time bomb to stop this event with the pasts help.... ....Or its game over. Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/8099153/Marvel-Descendents-Sins-Of-The-Past/1

Crossover with @disneyfan50 : Untitled. Summary: TBA.

Agent of Asgard: Volume 1: Summary: Well now i have done it- i never thought that in my life, that i would work for heroes- But here i am, Locket Lokidottir, working as a agent for Queen Jane of Asgard, but now, now im in the deep end, i got a crazy version of myself after me, im meeting weird people and theres some plot going on- Why cant i just go back to being normal yet? Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/8471877/Agent-Of-Asgard-Volume-1/1

Crossover with @disneyfan50 and Entity High: Untitled. Summary: TBA.

Agent of Asgard: Volume 2: Summary: TBA.

Agent of Asgard: Volume 3: Summary: TBA.

Agent of Asgard: Volume 4: Summary: TBA.

Spin Off: Siege Perilous: Summary: Being a dragon should mean you should always be able to soar through the air, no matter what- the skies your limit. But what happens when someone tries to clip your wings? Jayla Del'Tazar thought her troubles ended with Mariana Malora- she was wrong. As soon, Jayla finds herself in her own battle against a man named Draeko, a pureblood dragon determined to take her out for her relations, in any way possible. Travelling to Wakanda with Princess Kiara and Jayla's girlfriend, Peregrine Wilson, Jayla soon finds that when pushed to the edge of possible surrender and near death, that sometimes, you have to fight fire with fire...and in this case, that fire is discovering hidden abilities she never knew she had until then, and things only change from there on. Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/11017793/Siege-Perilous/1

Agent of Asgard: Volume 5: Summary: TBA.

Untitled Sequel to Siege Perilous: Summary: TBA.

Book 6: Untitled. Summary: TBA.

Untitled third book to Siege Perilous: Summary: TBA.

Book Set in the Future: Marvel Descendants: Up From the Depths: Summary: Its the year 2032, and the Area of the Lost has existed for more then 20 years as the grandchildren of the villains and heroes now exist and the previous generation have grown up. But soon enough, after a crack appears in a dome and a poisoning of the villains grandchildren at SHIELD Academy happens, its a adventure that soon leads to a truth about the Area and its residents...and how unlike the heroes....not everyone has a good path in life....and may need help more then ever at this point. Link: https://www.quotev.com/story/9912322/Marvel-Descendants-Up-from-the-Depths/1

Locket Lokidottir

- daughter of Loki-

Faceclaim:

India Eisley.

Richard Creed

- son of Sabertooth-

Faceclaim:

Jason Scott Dolley.

Victoria Von Doom

- daughter of Doctor Doom-

Faceclaim:

Raffey Cassidy.

Alex Sterns

- son of The Leader-

Faceclaim:

Ferdia Shaw.

Lucas

- son of The Mandarin-

Faceclaim:

Ryan Potter.

Tamora

Schmidt- granddaughter of Red Skull-

Faceclaim:

Sadie Sink.

Torunn ‘Tori’ Thordottir

- daughter of Thor-

Faceclaim:

Chloe Grace Mortez.

Theo Thorson

- son of Thor-

Faceclaim:

Landon Liboiron.

Lila Creed

- daughter of Sabertooth-

Faceclaim:

Mia Talerico.

Johnny and Jessica (formerly Olivia)

- twins of Juggernaut-

Faceclaim(s):

TBA.

Lizzie Octavious

- daughter of Doctor Octopus-

Faceclaim:

TBA.

Frigga Thordottir

- daughter of Thor-

Faceclaim:

Abby Ryder Foster.

Ravan Darkholme

- son of Mystique-

Faceclaim:

TBA.

Andrew and Ally Amoradottir

- twins of Amora-

Faceclaim(s):

TBA.

Nathan Osborn

- son of Norman Osborn-

Faceclaim:

TBA.

Thorn Sifson

- son of Sif-

Faceclaim:

Spencer Boldman.

Amanda Amoradottir

- daughter of Amora-

Faceclaim:

Sabrina Carpenter.

Devlin Kilgrave

- son of Kilgrave-

Faceclaim:

TBA.

*Maria Stark- daughter of Iron Man- Faceclaim: TBA. *James Fury- son of Nick Fury- Faceclaim: Tyrel Jackson. *Poppy Coulson- daughter of Phil Coulson- Faceclaim: TBA. *Snow Banner- daughter of the Hulk- Faceclaim: TBA. *Luke Walters- son of She Hulk- Faceclaim: TBA. *Riley Jones- daughter of A-Bomb- Faceclaim: TBA. *Mark Hill- son of Maria Hill- Faceclaim: Bradley Steven Perry. *Margaret ‘Peggy’ Rogers- daughter of Captain America- Faceclaim: TBA. *Andrew Wilson- son of the Falcon- Faceclaim: TBA. *Harry Pym- son of Wasp and Giant Man- Faceclaim: TBA. *Nick and Jade Barton- twins of Hawkeye and Black Widow- Faceclaim(s): TBA. *Lauren Howlett- daughter of Wolverine and Storm- Faceclaim: TBA. *Joy Summers- daughter of Cyclops and Jean Grey- Faceclaim: Mackenzie Foy. *Gwen Parker- daughter of Spiderman and MJ- Faceclaim: TBA. *Jessica Storm- daughter of the Human Torch- Faceclaim: TBA.

*Lynn Richards- daughter of Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman- Faceclaim: TBA. *Atli Volstaggdottir- daughter of Volstagg- Faceclaim: TBA. *Heleo Fandralson- son of Fandral- Faceclaim: Ross Lynch. *Vio Fandraldottir- daughter of Fandral- Faceclaim: TBA. *Ty Hogunson- son of Hogun- Faceclaim: TBA. *Andrea ‘Andy’ Barnes- daughter of Winter Soldier- Faceclaim: TBA. *Gordon Maximoff- son of Scarlet Witch- Faceclaim: TBA. *Millicent Maximoff- daughter of Quicksilver- Faceclaim: TBA. *Techna- daughter of Vision- Faceclaim: TBA. *Tee Strange- daughter of Doctor Strange- Faceclaim: TBA. *Kiara (formerly Ann)- daughter of Black Panther- Faceclaim: China Anne McClain. *Mick Gold- son of Mockingbird- Faceclaim: TBA. *Charles Danvers- son of Captain Marvel- Faceclaim: TBA. *Brooke Murdock- daughter of Daredevil- Faceclaim: TBA. *Willow Rhodes- daughter of War Machine- Faceclaim: TBA. *Destineva Heimdalldottir- daughter of Heimdall- Faceclaim: TBA. *Jake Amaquin- son of Crystal- Faceclaim: TBA.

*Danielle Rand- daughter of Iron Fist- Faceclaim: TBA. *Toby Masters- daughter of Taskmaster- Faceclaim: TBA. *Kasey Parker- daughter of Spiderman and MJ- Faceclaim: TBA. *Maxine- daughter of Electro- Faceclaim: TBA.

*Alastair Quill- son of Star Lord and Gamora- Faceclaim: Bradley Steven Parry.

*Lucy Selvig- daughter of Eric Selvig- Faceclaim: Saxon Sharbino. *Aidan ‘Acrylic’ Lokison- son of Loki- Faceclaim: Eka Darville. *James Selvig- son of Eric- Faceclaim: TBA.

*Leela Theodottir- future daughter of Theo and Locket- Faceclaim: Grace Kaufman. *Leonardo ‘Leo’ Theoson- future son of Theo and Locket- Faceclaim: Logan Williams. *Luna Theodottir- future daughter of Theo and Locket- Faceclaim: Lauren Boles. *Daniel Creed- future son of Richard and Joy- Faceclaim: Carter Hastlings. *Roxanne ‘Roxie’ Thorndottir- future daughter of Thorn and Tori- Faceclaim: Caitlin Carmichael. *Vanessa Wilson- future daughter of Andrew and Victoria- Faceclaim: Kyla Drew. *Jacqueline ‘Jackie’ Xavier- granddaughter of Charles Xavier- Faceclaim: TBA. *Elsbeth Wagner- daughter of Nightcrawler- Faceclaim: TBA. *Zelina Lebeau- daughter of Rouge and Gambit- Faceclaim: TBA. *Octave Lebeau- son of Rouge and Gambit- Faceclaim: TBA. *Cerise Wilson- daughter of Deadpool- Faceclaim: TBA. *Feliks Rasputin- son of Shadowcat and Colossus- Faceclaim: TBA. *Max Summers- son of Havoc and Polaris- Faceclaim: TBA. *Derek Worthington- son of Angel and Psylocke- Faceclaim: TBA. *Paige McCoy- daughter of Beast- Faceclaim: TBA. *Alix Drake- daughter of Ice Man- Faceclaim: TBA. *Screech Cassidy- daughter of Banshee- Faceclaim: TBA.

*Jayla Antoine- adopted daughter of Colin- Faceclaim: Skai Jackson.

*Ella- granddaughter of Elsa (in Auradon)- Faceclaim: Peyton Elizabeth Lee.. *Jamie Sterns- daughter of Alex and Snow- Faceclaim: Eve Moon. *Nike Stark- son of Maria and Lucas- Faceclaim: TBA. *Dove Wilson- daughter of Andrew and Victoria- Faceclaim: Millie Davis. *Tracy Octavious- daughter of Lizzie- Faceclaim: Bailee Madison. *Misty Darkholme- daughter of Ravan- Faceclaim: Morgan Lily. *Alan Allyson- son of Ally- Faceclaim: Ty Simpkins. *Ava Allydottir- daughter of Ally- Faceclaim: Maggie Elizabeth Jones. *Renee and Brandon Creed- twins of Richard and Joy- Faceclaim(s): Kennedi Clements and Jacob Trembley. *Kol Amandason- adopted son of Amanda- Faceclaim: Oakes Fegley. *Usagi Del’Tazar- twin daughter of Jayla and Peregrine- Faceclaim: Sofia Wylie.

#megan's ocs #megan's fanfiction #OC's masterpost #original series OCs

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tarteausuga · 5 years ago

Text

killing boys

Jaehyun (NCT) x Reader [x Chaeyoung (Twice)] angst, implied wlw cw: cheating, strong language, sexual content word count: 2.1k Inspired by killing boys by Halsey

"You're killing people." “No, I'm killing boys. Boys are just placeholders, they come and they go." "You're my best friend, and I wanna help you. But I won't let you kill again, that's a lose-lose."

You could only describe it as the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Even worse than that time your older brother body slammed you while you were "playing WWE" with him and you ended up breaking your arm in 2 spots and a broken collar bone. It was even worse than the period pains that felt like someone was jamming a blunt knife into your abdomen. The only thing was that it wasn't a physical pain or something your body was actually experiencing physiologically. It was the strongest emotional pain ever and it threw your life for a loop.

Eating was the last thing you wanted to do and you had run out of people to vent to about the current worst thing that's ever happened to you. But your childhood best friend always had a way of making her way into your life at the best/worst times.

Chaeyoung was always a free spirit compared to your more grounded personality. She was usually always out doing something while you were at home watching Netflix. She would occasionally show up at random times, knocking on your window when she needed a place to sleep for the night. But she always had a keen sense of how you were feeling because her visits, despite his chaotic she was at times, calmed you from whatever was going on in your life.

"Hey Charlie Brown, what's up?" She says the moment you open the front door of your house. She had arrived with two bags full of convenience store food: three of each of your favourite chocolates, drinks, chips and anything else you could want in the moment.

"When are you going to stop calling me that?" You form a weak smile as she drops the bags onto the floor before pulling you into one of her signature chokeholds that are her version of hugs.

"Never. You're my lovable loser. Bedroom, I brought your favourite foods and your favourite movies." She doesn't even wait for you to say yes. You quickly rustle up the bags before peddling up after her.

She's greeted by the mess that was your room. Normally fairly neat and tidy, it looked like a hurricane had ripped through as you attempted to erase any memory or any chance of an object conjuring up an unwanted memory that would cause you that unbearable pain again. Chaeyoung glanced at you empathetically as she waded through the waste and jumped onto your bed. She pulled the laptop out from the bag and turned it on before patting the space next to her for you to join her.

The two of you watched the movie without speaking much to each other. The only noises were from the movie and the crinkling of wrappers as you satiated your hunger with the junk food - exactly what you needed.

"So what did the jerk do?" Chaeyoung finally said when she felt that you had a full enough belly to not collapse into a ball of misery and self-pity.

"He was caught with another girl. My friends saw him around town with a girl on his arm. He tried to play it off like she was his cousin but you don't kiss your cousins." You say glumly. You had told this story to so many people that it didn't even hurt anymore.

"What an idiot. Haven't I told you? Jung Jaehyun was and always will be an ass hat." She chuckles as she leans back on her hands.

"I guess but I've had a crush on him for so long..." You say while playing with the candy wrapper in your hands.

"Right when he completely ignored you in high school and let those dumbass basketball guys make fun of you. Ass hat." She chuckled but this time, out of spite. Chaeyoung was quite known around your old high school of being the tough girl despite her small size. She called out anyone and everyone when they needed to be put in line and every guy was terrified of her as she was known to air out their dirty laundry if they humiliated a girl they dated. She's stood up for you on countless occasions but when you drifted apart in high school, you fell out of her protection as your new friends were unsavoury people to Chaeyoung. "He only started dating you when you became hot."

"Shut up." You threw the wrapper at her but she was right.

You had graduated a little over 2 years ago and that's when you started becoming more confident in yourself. You carried yourself better and that's when he started to take notice of you. He had made up this elaborate story that he had liked you since high school but deep inside, you knew that wasn't true. You just lied to yourself because you were finally getting the boy of your dreams.

He was just that. He was everything you wanted until he wasn't. You were convinced that he was the love of your life until he wasn't. Everything was an illusion because apparently, this was not the first time he has cheated on you or any other girl. Despite the warnings, you wanted to believe that he wouldn't hurt you… Until he did.

"I thought he was the one, Chae." You say glumly again.

"It can feel like that but I don't believe in it. There are plenty of people out there who would treat you like the peach that you are. Cheer up, Charlie Brown." She nudged you with her elbow with a wink.

She started calling you Charlie Brown when you two became obsessed with the Peanuts comics in middle school. Chaeyoung loved that he was a lovable loser and said that he reminded her of you. She proclaimed that she was Peppermint Patty and you agreed because Chaeyoung was always out there with the most absurd thoughts and ideas.

You had moved on to the second movie and you were now cuddled up with your best friend on your bed. You were about to fall asleep when she suddenly sat up, shocking you out of the sleepy state and said, "let's ruin Jung Jaehyun," with a smile.

"What?" You rub your eyes, "Chaeyoung, no. It's not that big of a deal. I'll get over it."

"Not a big deal my ass. C'mon, ___, we need to teach him a lesson. Show him that he can't just go around sticking his dick in random places without consequences. It's our duty to any future woman that he might hurt." Chaeyoung says passionately.

You sigh and think about it before admitting defeat. "What are you planning?" You rub the bridge of your nose knowing she has already come up with an elaborate plan of some sort.

---

You park your car a block away from Jaehyun's house as instructed by Chaeyoung but you start having second thoughts. "This is a bad idea, Chae. Let's just go back to my place and finish that movie."

"Don't back out on me now! We're here, let's get it done." She almost hisses at you and you start wondering why she holds so much hate for Jaehyun all of a sudden.

Chaeyoung had always been protective of you from the day you two met in kindergarten. A bully had tried to take the chocolate chip cookie your mom had packed for you to help ease your nerves from your first day at school. You just sat there and cried when Chaeyoung came out of nowhere and snatched the cookie back, said some choice words and gave it to you. Though you had drifted away when high school started, you made new friends in high school from your club activities and Chaeyoung joined cheerleading, she always kept an eye on you. But she's never gone to this extreme.

"We've done some crazy things in the past, Chae, but this is literally illegal. We could go to jail for this!" You grab her wrist.

"Only if we get caught!" She yells in a hushed tone. Her eyes had changed into something more menacing than before.

"Why are you doing this?" You hiss back.

"I can't just standby and let that asshole get away with hurting someone I love." She shakes her hand free and gets out of the car before you can stop her.

In the time it took you to unbuckle your seatbelt and get out of the car, she was already at Jaehyun's house. You told her everything. The spare key was under the third flower pot on the right. He was usually at basketball practice at this time, then he would go hang out with the boys. It was Friday night so his parents were out for their weekly date night. This used to be the time where you and Jaehyun would have sex as you had the house to yourselves…

Chaeyoung's plan was simple: key his car. Sneak into his room and spray paint something (she didn't tell you what), sneak out and go home.

It was too late to stop her since you weren't a fast runner and you knew perfectly well that it was impossible to stop your best friend from doing anything once her mind was set. All you could do was wait.

You tapped your foot impatiently, trying to make the time go by faster to no avail when suddenly, you heard yelling from down the block. The next thing you knew, Chaeyoung was sprinting down the road yelling at you to start the car. You fumbled with your keys as you tried to do as she said and finally got the engine to start when she hopped into the passenger seat.

"JUST DRIVE" She yelled breathlessly.

You instantly stepped on the gas and look in the rearview mirror to see Jaehyun standing there, furious.

"What the hell happened?" You demand from Chaeyoung.

"That fucker." She laughed as she sunk into the leather of the car seat.

"Chaeyoung!" You glare at her, your knuckles going white from gripping the steering wheel so tight.

"So I keyed that ridiculous car of his and went into the house, no problem right? I mean I took a little longer on the car than I wanted but that was great penmanship considering I was using a damn key but anyway!" She continues, "fuck man, I go in and I just hear shit. It kind of freaked me out because you said the house would be empty right? But I'm like okay whatever, I go to his room and there he was balls deep in some girl." She can't help but laugh and even though you want to cry, you join her. "I'm so sorry Charlie Brown but you deserve so much better."

"Yeah, I know." You stop the car at a red light. You take her hand in yours and kiss it, "Thanks for that, Chae. I needed it."

"Anything for you." She smiles and pulls you in for a kiss.

You pull away with a gasp and look at her with wide eyes before diverting your attention to the road and continuing driving in silence. Your focus was solely on the road as you attempted to try and avoid the feelings you could possibly be feeling. While you were doing this, you failed to notice that Chaeyoung’s energy was dwindling, something she rarely lets other people see. All you could do was drive.

The car pulled up to the curb of Chaeyoung’s house and you put it into park. You finally turned to your best friend and saw how small she truly was for the first time in your life. You easily had a head of height on her but her energy was always so strong and exuberant that her physical size wasn’t even on your mind. But in that moment, she looked so small and vulnerable. The one who was always standing up for you and protecting you has a weakness: you.

“Chaeyoung…” You say quietly but she cuts you off.

“It’s okay, Charlie Brown. It was the heat of a moment thing. Something Bonnie and Clyde would do, you know?” she pasted a smile on but you could’ve sworn you saw her wipe a tear from her eye.

“You’re my best friend, Chaeyoung. We shouldn’t complicate that.”

“You’re right, we shouldn’t do anything. Really, ___. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Like always.” She patted your hand that was gripping the gear shift with white knuckles. “Until next time.” Once again, she slipped out of the car before you could react and disappeared into the house by the time you got out to try and talk to her.

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct blurbs #twice scenarios #twice imagines #twice blurbs #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop blurbs #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun blurbs #jaehyun imagines #chaeyoung blurbs #chaeyoung imagines #chaeyoung scenarios #jaehyun angst #chaeyoung angst

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welllpthisishappening · 6 years ago

Text

Of Babies and Hockey Mascots

It had been a very long time since the mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers had made Matthew Jones want to scream in fear. He was, after all, a grown man. But being a grown man also meant seeing other adults in his life have kids. And Roland had always been very popular in Philadelphia.

------

This was/is and continues to be exceptionally self-indulgent next gen Blue Line hockey fic. Because life is life and good things happen in this universe. Also because I write them that way. So, here’s like almost 4K of Matt Jones, his girlfriend, his parents and both Roland and Henry ragging on Matt Jones for being terrified of Gritty. And the Rangers play hockey tomorrow. So.

This one goes out directly to @shireness-says for being an absolute, goddamn delight at all times. Also, also @optomisticgirl for constantly letting me bounce ideas off her, @stealing-vengence because I didn’t have these words to send last night and @distant-rose just for, like, existing.

This is the video mentioned in the story.

------

“Babe.”

Matt didn’t answer.

“Babe.”

Nothing. If he didn’t answer, then Claire would definitely go back to sleep and it was stupid and petulant and—“Babe,” she said, that one sounding less like an endearment and more like the audible and understandable sound of middle-of-the-night frustration. She jabbed him in the ribs.

Matt groaned.

“Answer your phone, Matthew.”

He hissed in a breath, burying his face into the pillow like that would make the phone stop, but that was a pipe dream and Claire’s nails absolutely left marks on his skin when she scratched down his side.

“I got it, I got it, I—“

The phone fell on the floor.

“Oh my God,” Claire grumbled.

None of Matt’s muscles appreciated when he leaned over the side of the bed, fingers scrambling for a phone that was somehow still ringing and sounded as if it were getting louder with each passing second and—

“Someone better be dead,” he growled, barely moving his thumb away from the screen after he swiped before lifting it to his ear.

He hadn’t checked who was calling.

That was definitely his first mistake.

Well, second. Maybe third, actually.

He’d gotten hit pretty hard after that turnover in the zone and he should have just started shutting his phone off at night. Like several dozen years earlier. So those probably took precedence.

And the tongue click on the other end made it blatantly obvious who it was anyway.

“No one is dead,” Dad said. “That’s kind of the whole point of this call, actually.”

Matt blinked. Once, twice, three times, probably to match up with the number of mistakes and—he would absolutely blame whatever time it actually was for how long it took him to realize what was going on.

“Oh, shit.”

Dad sighed. And it sounded like Mom laughed.

It must have been nearly three in the morning.

“Got there, huh?” Dad asked. “That was a good pass in the third, by the way. Almost made up for the turnover and—“

“—You do not get to critique my turnovers right now. It is the middle of the night and that was just like…your greatest weakness and—“

“—And not really the point,” Mom called, what sounded like the couch creaking in the background and they must have been in the living room. Waiting. Or something that sounded a little more familial and far less menacing.

“It’s not really the point,” Dad admitted, voice turning a little repentant. “But it was a really good pass, the legend of the wrists continues—“

Mom sounded like she was growling.

There was a quiet scuffle on the other end of the phone, Claire’s laugh working its way under Matt’s skin when she pressed her head into the curve of his shoulder, reaching a hand up to brush away far-too-long curls because they were in the middle of a playoff run and he desperately needed to go back to sleep, but—

“It’s a boy,” Mom announced, and of all the very sore muscles that made up Matt’s current bodily structure, he hadn’t ever really expected his cheeks to ache quite that much.

Or so suddenly.

Smiling like an idiot would do that though.

“Oh, shit.”

“Mattie, you can’t keep saying that over and over. It’s just—it’s not the world’s best reaction.”

“I know, I know, I just—a boy, for real?”

“You knew that,” Claire mumbled, nosing at his collarbone and he could feel her smile too. His stomach felt like it had thrown into his throat.

“Yeah, I know I did, I just—“

“—Used up all those well-thought out responses in post, huh?” Mom asked, and maybe they were all just smiling like idiots. That made him feel a little better.

It had been a really good pass.

“Something like that,” Matt muttered. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging lightly as if that would wake him up, but the prospect of Roland and Lizzie’s kid had already done a pretty good job of that and Claire only gasped softly when he pulled her up with him. “Is everything—I mean, everything went ok, right? No one’s—“

“Everyone’s fine, kid,” Dad said, clearly on speaker now and that was probably for the best. “Except maybe Liam who—“

“—According to El, snapped at several different orderlies, demanded hourly updates from the nurse and—“

“—Wait, wait,” Matt interrupted. “Hourly? This was a multiple hours thing? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

Nothing.

Huh. That was annoying.

“Well,” he prompted, “the resounding echo of your own silence is pretty deafening. Who else was there? Why didn’t Rol call?”

“Presumably because he’s staring at his kid like they’re the greatest thing in the entire world,” Dad said reasonably.

Matt slumped against the pillows. “I’m going to blame the turnover. For, you know—being a dick.”

“Matthew!’

“Mom, you don’t get to ground me anymore, I just—“

“—Henry was there,” Dad finished. “He’d been planning on coming back here, but something about fate or whatever and he got delayed in Atlanta, so he rerouted to Philly and from what Gina said, he was the only rational one and Rol kept walking in and out of the room. Rumor has it there was quite a lot of pinching the bridge of his nose.”

“He does that when he gets nervous.”

“I can’t imagine why he’d feel that way in this scenario.”

“But everything’s ok, right? I mean—with Lizzie and Rol, the nose thing aside and—“

“That’s very normal,” Mom mumbled, another telltale tongue click from Dad and Claire kissed Matt’s shoulder that time. “Some would say even calm compared to other reactions.”

“This is not an answer to my question, just sly jabs at Dad for being a freak and—“

“—I will absolutely ground you, Matthew,” Dad cut in, a distinct lack of any actual frustration. “Also, today is not the season-opener. So, I can’t see how the two situations are even remotely comparable.”

Matt hummed.

Claire might have mumbled something that sounded a hell of a lot like this family is crazy, which—well, fair.

“And,” Mom continued, “I wasn’t really being sly about it. I thought that was a pretty obvious commentary on Dad’s nerves.”

“A name, Mom. Does the kid have a name?”

She hissed in a breath.

And Matt waited. Or, tried. Doing his best to temper his impatience because he was only a little annoyed Henry had been there when he hadn’t and that was absolutely insane.

Seriously, it was all that turnover’s fault.

He hoped Roland hadn’t seen that.

He’d never hear the end of it.

“Mom. Do I have to guess? I’m not going to be able to guess, I—“

“Noah Miller Locksley,” she finished, and Matt nearly dropped the phone again.

He swallowed. More than once, tongue darting between suddenly dry lips because he’d started breathing through his mouth at some point, the way his eyes falling shut having nothing to do with how utterly and completely exhausted he was.

“Oh shit,” Claire whispered. “That’s good.”

Matt made another noise — something he was only vaguely hopeful sounded like an agreement. “Did Aunt Gina cry?”

“She absolutely wept according to several reliable sources,” Dad answered.

“Were those all just Henry?”

“And El. Who told me this while crying rather hard.”

“God, that’s so stupid.”

“In the realm of exceptionally stupid, yeah.”

“Idiot,” Claire mumbled, and it might have just been a trick of the minimal light in their room, but Matt would have sworn her eyes had gone a bit glossy too. He blinked several times.

So as not to also be accused of idiocy.

And Matt’s phone buzzed in his hand.

“There it is,” Mom muttered fondly, Matt’s hand shaking when he glanced down at the screen and a group text that was very active for the middle of the night.

Roland Locksley, 2:47 a.m. :: image attached ::

Noah Miller Locksley. Ten fingers, ten toes. Seven pounds, eight ounces. Far more hair than expected, which we assume means he’s some kind of super baby.

Do not send us hockey sticks, I will punch you all in the face.

Matt scoffed, a quick sniffle and tears on his cheeks that he hadn’t really planned on, but seemed pretty inevitable for the parents of a kid who had absolutely fought over who got to use him on their side of the aisle at their wedding.

Claire kissed his cheek.

He didn’t read the rest of the messages — Peggy sending at least ten in a row and Chris’ didn’t look like much more than the same gif of Roland celebrating a playoff goal four seasons before, Leo’s all just several lines of exclamation points — tugging the phone back up to his ear and his own parents were definitely smiling.

Beaming, probably.

“I’m going to buy that kid so much team-branded merch,” Matt said. “All blue. Only blue.”

Dad chuckled. “I’m sure Roland will genuinely appreciate that.”

“How many hats do you think one hospital goes through with its baby population every day?”

“This is why you answer the questions and don’t ask them, kid.”

“That’s a serious question.”

“Make sure you ask Lizzie that later.”

“Don’t ask Lizzie that later,” Mom countered, and the couch made another noise. “And it really was a good pass in the third.”

“Ah ha! I thought you said that wasn’t the point of the conversation!”

“I mean—not a huge point, but definitely a sidebar and,” her voice dropped low like there wasn’t another person sitting directly next to her, “Dad nearly destroyed the chair when he jumped out of it. So.”

“So?”

“So,” Mom echoed. “Something paternal.”

“Yuh huh.”

“Go back to sleep, Mattie.”

“Sure thing, Mom.”

She one-hundred percent narrowed her eyes at the air in front of her, several dozen blocks away, but Matt still wasn’t all that worried about getting grounded and the small flutter of feeling in the pit of his stomach didn’t disappear when he woke up the next morning.

He only checked one of his text messages.

Dad, 8:15 a.m. The chair would have deserved to get wrecked in celebration of that pass. I’m proud of you, kid.

Matt, 8:17 a.m. Something, something, you’ve got a pretty solid head start on best dad.

Don’t tell Henry I said that.

Dad, 8:18 a.m. The something really made the message. I will not tell Henry.

And it all probably would have been fine — more photos of Noah while he was sleeping and being held and the group text had several thoughts on Roland’s technique when Lizzie sent a video of him rocking their kid back and forth in the middle of the hospital room. But then that same video got several gazillion retweets and likes and Matt had to go to film and skate and he didn’t really forget, but—

“Christ, Jones, is your phone going to explode?”

Matt shook his hair away from his eyes, tossing his practice jersey into the hamper a few feet away and it was a legitimate question. The stupid thing was buzzing and ringing at the same time, wobbling precariously on the top shelf of his locker, like it was getting ready to take flight.

He really needed to start checking who was calling before he answered the phone. Because Henry was already talking.

On video.

“Matt, Matt, Matt, listen, I need you to not check the group text and—“

“—Wait, what? Why do you sound like you’re out of breath?”

“Are you in the locker room?”

“I am in the middle of a series. I have skate and I need to go to PT and—“

“—Go in the hallway.”

“What?”

“The hallway,” Henry repeated, sounding as if he were issuing declarations or possibly grounding his own kids and Matt was twenty-nine. He needed to stop thinking about getting grounded so much. “Now.”

Matt widened his eyes, but Henry’s expression didn’t change, clearly tucked in the corner of a hospital with particularly aggressive overhead lighting.

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled. It only took a few moments, not bothering to grab his sandals when he hadn’t even had time to take his socks off yet, slumping down the wall almost as soon as the sounds from the locker room dimmed behind him. “You look like you’re about to tell me that they’re taking away my assist from last night.”

“That was a ridiculous pass.”

“Ridiculous here, meaning—“

“Good, obviously,” Henry sighed, an obviously exhausted hand running over his face.

“You sleep at all, old man? Where are your kids?”

“At my apartment? With my wife? What kind of question is that?”

“You’re really stressing me out.”

“Did you look at the group text yet?”

Matt shook his head slowly, some of that pleasant fluttering and general good that had made it easier to skate on such sore muscles disappearing. “I get the feeling I should have, though.”

“No, that’s—Matt, that’s the point. I—ok—“

The footsteps that moved down the hallway in a hospital with particularly aggressive overhead lighting in Philadelphia, weren’t all that loud — presumably because he hadn’t gotten much sleep what with having a baby to take care of, but then Matt also felt kind of bad about referring to Noah solely as a baby less than twenty-four hours after he’d been born and Roland looked torn between hysterics and…mostly hysterics.

“Are you kidding me, Matthew?” he balked, sliding down next to Henry slowly enough that it took several moments for him to find his way into the phone frame.

Matt arched an eyebrow.

Henry sighed.

“Seriously, why wasn’t this something I knew about?”

“Should you be out here? Shouldn’t you be like—I don’t know, documenting Noah’s every move or making sure Lizzie is—”

“—Lizzie told him to come out here for reasons we’ll get to that are not my fault,” Henry finished.

Matt’s eyebrows could not get higher.

And Roland rolled his eyes. “Ok, well, thanks for that vote of father-like confidence—“

“I’m not your father, Locksley, that sentence didn’t even make sense.”

“You want to acknowledge how cute my kid is…or?”

“Obviously,” Matt snapped, a weird counterbalance to the way the ends of his mouth tugged up. “He’s a super cute kid. I’m going to buy you twenty hockey sticks that are all legit, pro size.”

“I’m already kind of annoyed with you, so that’s not helping.”

“What could you possibly have to be annoyed with? Aren’t you just, I don’t know, buoyed by emotion and those father-like feelings?”

“Good use of the word buoyed,” Henry mumbled, Matt’s eyes flickering his direction. He still looked a little nervous.

“What’s going on? I feel like I’m missing something.”

“Nah uh,” Roland objected, “you’re the one holding out on us, Matthew. It’s—how do you even play here?”

Matt tilted his head. The fluttering was gone completely, replaced by something that felt like entirely unwelcome dread and he nearly yanked several pieces of hair out of his head when he ran his fingers through it.

Henry grimaced.

“This is not my fault.”

“So you’ve mentioned.”

“I never told.”

“Yuh huh.”

“But, uh—ok, are you by yourself? Because…just maybe look at the group text and see what this stupid team did.”

Roland had to put his hand over his mouth. Presumably so he wouldn’t disturb the other babies. With his laughter.

Matt wondered how long they were required to wear hats.

And it only took a few scrolls back for Roland to find it, brandishing his screen towards Henry’s — the whole phone call almost understandable because Chris had posted the video and he didn’t know, no one really knew, it was a stupid, childlike fear that he’d absolute, positively, shaken as a grown man with a very serious girlfriend he was really considering proposing to at some point and—

“Oh, fuck,” Matt gasped, pushing his arm out like that would stop the video from playing or the goddamn Flyers mascot from moving around so much in said video.

Roland snickered.

Matt squeezed his eyes shut, whatever filler music the Flyers had used in the video sounding impossibly loud. As if it were heightened by his fear

Of goddamn Gritty.

He was decorating a locker — streamers and balloons, every move making his stupid eyes rattle around because the eyes hadn’t changed in years and Matt still hated him with every fiber of his being. As if there were totally normal.

The video didn’t end.

It seemed to last forever, Gritty glancing back at the camera every few seconds — presumably just to remind Matt that his eyes defied the laws of gravity — but then the locker was decorated and the sign said Welcome Baby, Locksley and Matt could not remember the last time he took a deep breath.

Roland had given up on trying to hide his laugh.

“Why did that happen?” Matt hissed, rolling his shoulders like that would make him look more adult or less terrified of another grown adult in a costume. “You’re not even on this team anymore. You are—“

“—A beloved alum, it seems,” Roland alum. “Oh Captain, my captain and all that.”

“Isn’t he dead in that poem?”

“Honestly?”

Matt glanced at Henry, the color in his cheeks nothing do with embarrassment and more with Gritty. “This has taken a pretty morbid turn, don’t you think?”

“Why is the mascot decorating a locker that isn’t yours, Rol?” Matt demanded.

“I’m very popular on this team. Still, or whatever. Plus, you know—the kid is exceptionally cute.”

“God, that’s not fair.”

“Say the kid is cute, Matthew.”

“Obviously I think the kid is cute. God, you are so annoying.”

“Tired,” Henry amended. “He’s tired.”

Roland nodded. “That too. And maybe a little delirious on like—I don’t know, joy? Is that lame?”

“Yes,” Matt nodded “But nice too. Dad said Gina cried.”

“Wept. Seriously. Shoulders shaking, sniffles. It was not dignified at all. Made the whole thing.”

“You’re a giant freak, you know that?”

“Lizzie’s going to call you later, she’s got—“

More footsteps. Those ones with a distinct squeak that came from those very specific shoes nurses wore and the woman smiled when she noticed both Henry and Roland.

On the floor.

“Mrs. Locksley is awake again,” the nurse said, “and, uh—well, she’d like to know why you didn’t wake her up if you were going to—“ Roland’s eyes widened. And Matt laughed that time.

“She wants to know why they’re ragging me about the video without her, isn’t she?” he asked.

The nurse nodded.

“Maybe I should just ask her to marry me again,” Roland mused. “That’s romantic, right?”

“I mean the kid was a pretty good sign that you were into your own wife, honestly.”

“True, true, c’mon. I bet she��s got scathing opinions.”

She did. For several straight minutes, a gurgling Noah resting across her chest and that didn’t do much to stop Lizzie’s right hand from flying through the air while she talked.

Matt chewed on his lower lip.

“What I can’t understand,” Roland mused, slumped in one of the few chairs the hospital room seemed to offer, “is why we didn’t know you were so terrified of the mascot? You play here all the time.”

“Never came up.”

“Matt.”

“What? When would I have told you that? And would that not have ended with you trying to get me to run into the stupid thing every time was at Wells Fargo?”

“Eh, yeah, that’s probably true.”

“It’s one-hundred percent true,” Henry said.

“And how did you know, exactly?”

“Oh, I’ve known forever. Matt was—I don’t know, little, little. Like a baby and Killian was on the road in Philly and he lost his mind when Gritty came on TV. Just one of those fundamental fears, I guess.”

“Is that a thing?”

“See,” Matt challenged, “we shouldn’t be talking about that stupid monster because then you’re going to mess your kid up after less than a day.”

Lizzie glared at him. “You’re a jerk.”

“I’m only going to buy you Rangers gear.”

“Please, you’re going to take it from the team store.”

“Eh, column A, column B.”

“Still stealing,” Roland muttered, head lolling back.

“Whatever. Go to sleep. I’ve got to go back to the locker room and acknowledge PT and—“

“—A will yell at you if you blow that off,” Lizzie interrupted, her own eyelashes fluttering and Henry was already moving towards the door. “Just, you know, on principle.”

“I know, that’s why I’m trying to end this conversation with you.”

“Charmer.”

“Mmhm, hey you want to know a secret?”

Lizzie cracked open one eye. Noah was definitely already asleep. And still as cute as ever. “Did you cry?”

“How’d you know that?”

“Please,” she scoffed. “I know everything about you.”

“You did not know about Gritty.”

“I knew there was a reason you hated being on the ice for too long during warmups here. And it wasn’t that hard to put two and two together. Who do you think told Henry the message was in the group chat?”

“You were reading the group chat?”

“It was a genuinely insane pass last night. You guys going to win tomorrow?”

“An attempt will certainly be made.”

Lizzie laughed, soft and obviously exhausted, a heaviness to her that hadn’t been there before, but wasn’t altogether bad. Almost like she was more…something. Good. Protective. Maybe even understanding.

“I will probably fall asleep during the game,” she warned.

“Ah, well, you did just have a kid, so…”

“Exactly.”

A voice called for him from the other end of the hall, one side of Lizzie’s mouth ticking up when she slumped further into the hospital bed. “Score the kid a goal, huh?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

He did. In the third period. A quick stick and impossibly fast wrists, no mascot in New York to terrorize infants and Matt grinned when Claire found him outside the locker room later that night, a bag with a Rangers onesie clutched in her hand.

#cs ff #blue line one shots #that cs ff tag is generous honestly #but emma and killian both are in this #still #most of these are like...original characters and adult henry #if you read this i think you're very nice

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 6 years ago

Text

Love, Shawn

Summary: Shawn and Y/N have always been best friends, secretly in love with each other and terrified of saying the words out loud. When life pulls them apart, they struggle to find their way back to each other. In spite of everything, their feelings never went away. Can they have their happily ever after?

Warnings: mentions of sex and slightest bit of smut, fluff, angst, mentions of alcohol and death, swearing

Word count: 22k

a/n: Based on Love, Rosie

Take a deep breath. Tell them how we first met.

I still remember that day, sitting on a bench with my doll when a couple of boys started to run around the park, throwing sand at a third boy who doesn't retaliate. He holds his knees close to his chest and take what they give him. There’s no fight, nor a plea for help, making me mad.

I can't let that happen.

"Hey! Get lost!" I throw sand their way, narrowing my eyes to form a menacing look. They look at me dumbfounded, almost as if they're confused why I'm defending this boy. I growl at them for good measure and they scurry off.

Sitting on my knees in front of the boy, I use my hand to brush the sand out of his brown locks, unsure if he'd appreciate my help at all.

He raises his head slowly, his brown eyes focusing on me in wonder. I hope I don't scare him.

"Hi." The boy says softly and I smile widely.

"HI!" Aware my tone is betraying my excitement about meeting someone new, I lick my lips and calm down. Enthusiastic. I’m too enthusiastic.

"I'm Y/N. What's your name?" The boy looks at me in thought as if he's trying to figure out whether to trust me or not. The silence dwells, enough for me to take three breaths of uncertainty. But then he smiles back at me and speaks again.

"Shawn."

Tell them that ever since then, we've shared our dreams.

We played with his little sister, using her dolls as our own. She's too little to know any better and I want to play and Shawn is kind enough to play with me. I don't have any friends other than him anyway. Not that I mind. Shawn’s enough for me.

"I had a dream I played the guitar. It's so weird." Shawn admits and I frown, tilting my head to his side until I could have a proper look instead of a glance.

"Why would that be weird?" I question, ignoring the dolls and focusing my attention toward Shawn.

"Because I didn't play it with my hand...I was the guitar pick." He bites his lower lip nervously, attempting to hide how insane he feels and I smile, taking his hand in mine.

"A wooden guitar pick or metal one?"

Shawn always had the weirdest dreams anyone could have. I never discouraged them. In fact, I loved that he told me about them. I loved that he shared every part of his soul with me so honestly and with no hesitation. And I always kept his dreams a secret, safe inside my mind as a collection he could later use should he find it necessary.

Tell them how this is...how this must be...one of the happiest days of my life.

Lie...Lie through your teeth and make sure there's a smile on your face.

So, I smile. I push my lips up and widen them enough for my teeth to be shown, hoping I look genuine and not at the brink of tears as I feel. Standing up, I look around the room, avoiding to meet his gaze. I can sense his eyes on me as a lover's touch, caressing and pushing me away at the same time.

I feel you. I always have.

"For those I haven't had a proper chance to talk to, I am Y/N. And this has got to be one of the happiest days of my life." I raise the glass of champagne and finally dare to look at the couple, boring my eyes into the only half of that couple I care for.

Shawn...My Shawn.

Perhaps it's better I start with the story of how I absolutely fell in love with my best friend and stupidly allowed him to walk out of my life?

"Shots! Shots! Shots!" Everyone chats and I giggle in my already drunken haze, waiting for Shawn to take the small glass between his fingers too. I know he's not drinking tonight, using water instead of vodka and tequila, because we have always had a deal. One of us is allowed to lose their mind and the other is supposed to look after the drunk one. It was our way to stay safe and make sure we don't end up crashing the car and getting ourselves killed.

He looks to me with a raised eyebrow and I wink, both of us bringing the glass to our lips and simultaneously throw our heads back to swallow the liquid. It stopped burning my throat ten minutes ago, probably at the same time my mind started to spin.

I've turned eighteen, just a month after Shawn and I was ready to let myself go and get drunk off my ass.

We danced the entire night, swaying to the music, shaking heads like crazy. I remember laughter and drinks...so much laughter and drinks and flashing lights. Stumbling, I fall forward and into Shawn, feeling his arms wrap around me and hold me close until my head is on his chest.

"Whoa, lets sit down a bit. Okay?" I hear his voice through his chest, finding it warm and the vibrations funny. I chuckle into his shirt, clutching it with both hands and let him take me where he wants. I trust he’ll take care of me.

His hands grab my hips and I'm hoisted up on a bar stool. I place both hands on his shoulders to steady myself, head hung low as the world keeps spinning around me and he seems to be the only anchor. He's always been my anchor.

High or low, Shawn was always there to hold my hand. When I felt lonely, he'd remind me I was 'stuck with him'. When I felt like I'm ugly or fat, he was the one to cup my face and list every little thing he loved on me. When I felt like I wasn't enough, he would be the one to remind me just how smart, funny, kind and fierce I am. He was always that one for me.

Lifting my gaze, I look at him in a different light than I did moments before. His face is closer to mine and I notice his eyes are darker than usual, my reflection being the only thing in them. I see his rosy cheeks and the way they matched his rosy lips. Those same rosy lips that could form the most beautiful smile anyone ever had. I still remember his braces and how awkward he used to look, but I still thought he's cute back then. He's no longer cute...he's handsome and....beautiful.

"You're kind of beautiful, Mendes." I mumble and his eyes widen, his left eyebrow shooting up before he chuckles.

"You're really drunk, hon. Time to call it a night." He responds, but I shake my head. Licking my lips, I move my hands to his face and gravitate toward him. I had no fear, no inhibitions, only one desire: to feel his lips on mine. And he didn't move away. Shawn remained frozen in the moment before slowly leaning into me, his lips grazing mine. Impatient, I move forward and press my lips against his, pushing myself closer to him. Just as my lips touch upon his and my breath hitches in my throat, I lose my footing and fall. The world becomes dark.

Too bad that's not what I remembered at all.

Come next morning, I woke with a hammering headache and dry mouth. I groan into my pillow, pulling the duvet over my head to hide from the world. I needed water and food, but nausea swirled in my gut and instead of crawling out of my bed, I decide to stay and sleep some more.

"It's all my fault. The whole thing." I hear a familiar voice, immediately throwing the blanket off me and squinting at the door.

"I wish I could believe you, but I know my daughter. Fine young man you'll be if you continue this way, Shawn." I hear my mother go at it, adding her sarcastic remarks and I've had it. I kick my blanket off completely and jump to my feet, trying hard to ignore the dizziness that follows. I open the door and walk out, grouchy as never before. I really did go all out last night.

"What's all this shouting?!" I shout myself, stopping at the top of the stairs and both Shawn and mother turn to me.

"Come, on." I wave Shawn up to follow me and he gives my mother a curt nod, following after me.

"I'm so embarrassed about last night." I fall to my bed and listen to the door click after Shawn.

"No need. It wasn't that bad." Shawn smiles, sitting beside me and I cover my face with my hands.

"No! I was awful! Absolutely horrible." I mumble into my hands and Shawn only chuckles, trying to peel them off me.

"Bad can be good sometimes. It wasn't really something we do on daily bases, but it was...definitely interesting." I take in his strange tone and let him move my hands so I can have a good look at him.

"Shawn, no one can know, alright?! None of it! Just forget it happened, okay?" I use my index finger as a wand and whoosh in his face as if it worked its magic on him.

I see his face noticeably fall, but I brush it off. It's probably nothing. Why would he be sad? I got drunk, fell to my death and knocked myself out and probably puked on him considering he's wearing a different shirt now.

"Right." He says quietly, averting his eyes to his lap instead of my face and I frown, wondering what's wrong.

"So, uh...How did we get home from the hospital last night?" I ask, vaguely remembering the ER and Shawn openly freaking out over a small cut I got after the fall.

"Mum. They needed a parent's name and I didn't want to upset yours. She already thinks I'm a terrible influence on you." A small smile breaks on his face and I turn to my side, wrapping both arms around his waist, resting my face on his hip.

"Mhhmm. True." I add, nesting into him.

"Now I have to study late in the library every day for the next two weeks." He complains, using his left hand to move my hair aside. His fingers move through my hair and I sigh, content.

"But you'll get into Harvard. It's worth it." I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his fingers running down my hair and the calming sensation it gave me. He always knew how to get me to relax. It's one of many reasons why I love him so much.

"You'll get into Boston University and we'll rule the world." He teases me, using my own words against me.

Shawn had a scholarship for soccer waiting for him, while he'd use the chance to study music. I on the other hand couldn't afford Harvard and had no special skills that would get me in, so a state college didn't sound so bad. They had a good arts programme and I didn't mind at all. We'd be in the same area and still see each other daily. As long as Shawn's there, I'd walk through fire to get there.

What Shawn didn't know is that I sent his singing videos all around the USA and Canada to music producers and record studios. I believed in him since we were little. I spent a year hoarding every cent I was given to buy him his first guitar and he has never parted with it since. Shawn is my best friend, I know his soul. I see his true potential and it's wasted in the confines of his bedroom. One day, he'll be great and do amazing things. I know it in my heart.

"Hopefully. Until then, I have studying to do. And Samantha Stanley just got a job in the library." He mentions and I open my left eye, squinting at him.

Does he like her?

"The cheerleader who said you're cute?" I ask for confirmation and he nods, pressing his lips together.

"There really isn't a guy who doesn't want to sleep with her. Hell, even I want to hit that." I joke, propping myself up on my elbow. Shawn laughs, letting himself fall on his back, making the bed bounce under the weight.

"Shut up! She's been eyeing me this week." Shawn defends and I turn on my stomach, half sprawled over him. Should anyone see us like this, they'd assume we're a couple. But it's not like that with us. At least, it's never been like that. We're friends. Or so I tell myself every day in hopes of it sounding convincing one day.

"She's been eyeing that zit on your forehead, maybe? Let me pop it for you!" I move to his face and he grabs both my hands, his eyes going wide.

"Fuck, no! Stay away!" He shouts and I laugh.

"Just let me get it for you!!"

***

There's always been this vast field and a river behind our school, made for the kids to have their bonfires and rally before games. Seniors gather every Friday by a fire and tonight was one of those nights. We were days from prom and everyone was talking about it or using it as a chance to invite someone in case they didn't have a date.

I laid on Shawn's lap, playing with the buttons on his shirt as he stared ahead at the fire in thought. He's been like that ever since my birthday and I've been worried about him, however whenever I asked, his answer was always neutral. I figured it's the stress of waiting for an acceptance letter, but it didn't feel like that. He's holding out on me, hiding a vital piece of information and I keep wondering if I said something to him in that drunken craze. Had I admitted my crush on him? Maybe that's why he's quiet? Trying to hide he doesn't feel the same way?

God, I hope not.

"You know Grayson?" I ask and Shawn nods, looking at me now.

"He asked me to prom." I laugh, but Shawn doesn't.

"What did you say?" He asks calmly and I sit up, turning to him completely.

"I said I'm going with you." I sit crisscrossed and rest my elbows on my knees while Shawn keeps his piercing gaze on me.

"Hey, Shawn! Missed you at the library today." Samantha buts in and I bite back my tongue, seeing as Shawn already lost focus and moved his interest toward the cheerleader.

Men...

"Yeah, I had nothing...I mean, I was busy." Shawn stumbles over his words and I cringe inwardly. God, he's awful with girls. Which is insane considering he's best friend is a girl!

"Don't be a stranger, okay?" Samantha smiles at him before going to sit on the other side of the fire and I raise both eyebrows at Shawn and his tomato red face.

"Okay, that was painful to watch!" I exclaim, giggling at the embarrassed look on his face.

"Well, if you're so good, why not give me tips on winning over a girl that's clearly out of my league?!" He pinches my thigh lightly and I slap his hand away, leaning in.

"You're at a clear disadvantage with your virgin status, for one." I made sure my volume is low and only he can hear me. He rubs the back of his head, his short brown hair lacking the curls he had when we first met. He never grew his hair out again.

"But we can work with that! First, ignore her! Make her feel like she needs to work for your attention." I raise my hand in fist form and use my thumb to count.

"You seem to have experience in that." Shawn states, but it comes out as more of a question. I ignore it, going for my second tip.

"Two: convince her you see something in her no one else does...like her soul and all that crap." I use my index finger to count for two and Shawn licks his lips, glancing at Samantha before looking at me again with furrowed eyebrows and a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"While also ignoring her?" He questions in disbelief and I nod.

"Now you're getting the hang of it!" I exclaim, laughing and leaning my forehead on his shoulder.

"How will all that get me laid?" Shawn whispers in my ear and I widen my eyes and smack a hand over my mouth.

"This was about sex? Oh, silly me. That goes a little differently. Use you penis to -" Just as I start to explain, Shawn clasps his palm over my mouth with a shake of his head.

"You really are impossible!" He chuckles and I lick his palm until he grimaces and lets go, wiping it on his jeans.

"You love me." I curl into his side, resting my head on his upper arm and look at the fire.

"She wants me to take her to the dance." Shawn says and I feel my heart physically stop and drop to my stomach.

"Oh...well, is that what you want?" I ask, hoping I sound as collected as I'm trying to be.

"I don't know...maybe." Shawn's reply makes my face feel warmer than before and I sit properly, moving myself from him. I rack my brain for the right thing to say to make me seem unbothered and my mouth moves to articulate my thoughts.

"Take her then. If it means that much to you." I shrug, plastering a fake smile on my face until I feel the muscles begin to hurt from forcing such a simple reaction. Maybe it's not just any muscle...maybe it's my heart that’s in pain.

"Come on!" He says a little loudly, shifting in his spot to better turn to me.

"You'd have no one to go with." Shawn reminds me as if he didn't hear me say anything earlier. How could he when Samantha was around? I'm a bro, not a girl in Shawn's eyes. I swallow thickly and raise both eyebrows, feeling my forehead wrinkle in the process.

"I was asked by the hottest guy in school, Shawn. Think I can manage one night away from you. Just because you don't see me attractive, doesn't mean no one else does." I note the defensive tone I had no prior intention of using, but I didn't want to go with Grayson. I want to go with Shawn and dance with his silly ass and have the most fun we can before we're forced to go to college and face real life. I always had a fear of growing apart once it happens and I took measures to stop that from happening, but not going to prom together already felt like growing apart.

"I know you don't think that, so I'll ignore it. Either way, this is sort of convenient for you too. Hottest guy and all." He nudges my shoulder and I let out a sigh. He really doesn't get it does he?

"Yeah." I give him a tight-lipped smile and notice him already standing up.

"Gonna go ask her then." He runs off and I stay in my spot, feeling like I've been hit by a truck. How did he not know I wanted him by my side that night? Better yet, why did he not want me by his side?

I watch him talk to her, seeing her throw her hands around his neck and I know that the ache in my chest is going to be there for a while.

***

Last day of school is a drag. While there's nothing productive to do, most of us are just sitting in class and trying to pass notes around. Shawn sits behind me and I'm painfully aware of his presence. He's barely spent any time with me the past few days, always being busy with Samantha when I call. I know I shouldn't be mad at him for chasing after someone when I never made any clear moves on him. Had I done so, I wouldn't lose him...not really. However, things would feel different and I didn't want US to change. But we did. Since Samantha came, we weren't a team anymore, at least not from my point of view. Shawn's been happy and I am happy for him. I am! I just wish he didn't forget about me in the process.

I flinch with a tap on my shoulder and feel a hot breath on the back of my neck.

It's Shawn. He leaned in to tell me something and I find myself taken with goosebumps that arose with his presence.

"I have something to tell you." He whispers and I bite down on my lower lip, watching the teacher and turning my head slightly toward his mouth.

"What?" I ask in a hush tone, glancing back to the teacher so we don't get detention on the last day of school.

"Virgin boy is no more." Shawn confesses and I feel my mind short circuit, losing control for a moment. He did not!

"FUCK!" It escapes me without a second thought and although I covered my mouth with both hands, I could tell the teacher knew it was me.

"Detention, Mrs. Y/L/N." The teacher says in a bored manor, keeping his narrowed eyes on me in question.

"No, please! It was my fault." Shawn jumps and I let my head fall forward and rest it on the desk.

"You're not the one swearing in class, Mr. Mendes. Sit down or you'll get detention as well and as you know, Harvard isn't fond of troublemakers." The underlying threat forces Shawn to take a seat and I keep my head down and avoid his attempts to talk to me. I didn't have anything nice to say, so I said nothing.

I needed to face my feelings on my own and find a way to push him out of my mind and heart. To fall for a best friend is such a cliche and one I seem to be a poster child for. It's the last thing I wanted, to look at Shawn in this way and to have him break my heart without even knowing it. There's no way to explain my outburst and remain seemingly emotionless.

The bell rang and I bolted from my seat and to detention. Just my luck to get one in the last class of my high school education. I hear Shawn call out to me, trying to ignore him to the best of my ability. Even so, my legs are no match for his and he catches up with no problem. Gripping my upper arm, Shawn spins me to face him and I use both palms to steady myself, finding them placed on his chest. A small spark of electricity hit me and for a moment I could have sworn we've had a moment like this before.

Instead of looking at him, I use my palms to push him away and gain my personal space. I didn't want to face him, not at all. But Shawn wouldn't leave me alone.

"What was that?" He asks softly, picking up on the massive emotional wreck I turned into. I'm sure he knows that. He can tell.

"Don't!" I say through gritted teeth, sending a glare his way that could stop a beating heart.

"Y/N, why is this so upsetting to you?" Shawn steps closer, lowering his voice and I take a step back on instinct.

"I'll be late to detention. Don't follow me." I push the words out and turn on my heel, leaving him standing in the hall without looking back.

***

Night of the prom and I feel ready to get a few drinks in and give Grayson a chance. He's hot and funny and I wanted to shed my virgin status as soon as possible. I wasn't a fan of make up before, nor short dresses that would attract any unwanted attention, but I'd be that girl for the night. I wanted to be that girl tonight.

A knock on the door stops my train of thought and I open it wide, a look of surprise taking over my features.

"I know we're not officially talking, but I need help with my tie." Shawn stands before me in a suit with a tie in his hand and a helpless, but pleading look on his face. I sigh, looking up briefly as I bite my lower lip.

"Come on, then." I move to let him pass me, noticing him nervously shuffle from one foot to another.

We move upstairs and inside my bedroom, where he stops and gives the tie over to me. He leans down for me to put the tie around his neck, watching me carefully while I tie it properly. I hoped he'd stay silent and let me finish in peace, but it's not in his blood to let things go easily.

"For a moment, I thought you might be in love with me." Shawn blurts out and I roll my eyes, tying it tight to choke him slightly out of spite. Shawn's eyes pop and his lips part as I readjust the tie and smile, tapping his chest with my right hand.

"Don't flatter yourself." I crack a joke, seeing him return my smile. I didn't fake this smile, mostly because it's him. It's him and I and I can never truly be fake for long around him. I never could.

I move inside the bathroom and I hear my bed creak under his weight, assuming he took a seat while I got ready.

"I know boy-girl friendships are a little complicated, but you can always talk to me if you need anything. You know that, right?" Shawn keeps talking and I feel my body grow weak under the mighty heaviness of emotions he evokes inside me.

Instead of answering, I pull up a skin tight, above the knee red dress and zip it up. The top is lacy and my chest is slightly exposed making the dress have that femme fatale vibe. Just by letting my hair down, curls I made earlier cascade down and I realize there's no need for any sort of editions on it. A touch of eyeliner and mascara, a deep red lipstick and a dash of perfume is all I need to get ready.

My shoes are by the bed, so I'm forced to walk outside and face Shawn who is busy staring at his phone...probably talking to Samantha.

I bend down and grab my sandals, not talking to him yet.

"Holy shit. You're beautiful." Shawn gushes and I stop moving, turning to him. I raise an eyebrow and act unbothered, hoping he doesn't notice how my heart is beating hard against the rib cage meant to keep it in place. The way his eyes drag over every inch of my body and his cheeks take on a darker colour matching my dress is enough for me to feel self conscious, but his open mouthed compliment genuinely makes my chest quake with a desire to have his arms around me.

I really am head over heels for him, aren't I?

"Nice of you to finally notice." I comment and grab a bag, gesturing for him to get up and walk outside. Despite our quell, we still went to prom together. Until our dates arrived five minutes later.

"So where's that tool you're supposed to go with?" Shawn asks at the front entrance and I elbow him in the ribs.

"Here." I glance at him and notice him rolling his eyes. I don't get a chance to ask why as an arm wraps around my waist and a pair of lips connects with my cheek a moment later.

"Hello, gorgeous!" Grayson says and I lean into him, accepting his touch instantly. I look up and see Shawn glaring at Grayson, making me wonder what's his problem now.

"We'll see you inside." I part with Shawn, walking in with Grayson without a second glance. I couldn't handle anymore Shawn time for the night.

Grayson was definitely a dancer and although he sucked at it, his enthusiasm didn't lack. I didn't mind it, letting myself have a few drinks since the punch is spiked and I mostly spent the night ignoring Shawn and avoiding his demanding looks. If I didn't know better, I'd say he's jealous. But then I look again and find him wrapped around that blonde and I remember he doesn't care for me like that.

"Wanna go upstairs?" Grayson whispers in my ear and I step back, looking at him intently. I did say I want to lose my V-card, but with him? Here? Tonight?

Glancing over my shoulder, I find Shawn making out with Samantha and that pang of hurt settles in my chest, but it's different. It's fueled by anger and a tinge of bitterness. So, instead of listening to sanity, I choose the option that was the worst thing for me.

"Lead the way."

***

For a guy of his looks, I thought he'd be more experienced, or at least able to...last longer. He removed my panties and his, clumsily placed a condom, quickly inserting himself and only five painful thrusts in, he finished into the condom inside of me.

"Wow." I say sarcastically, feeling my entire vagina hurt and I grimace after.

"I know! This was amazing!" Grayson exclaims and I roll my eyes. Stupid. Not only him, but me as well. I'm as stupid as they come. I wanted to wait and instead, I allowed a moment of anger get the best of me.

"Did you get the condom?" I ask bitterly, lowering my dress to cover myself and Grayson turns to me with wide open eyes and his mouth parting.

"FUCK, NO!" I cry out and rush inside the bathroom, using a mirror and my hands to try and get it out. No, no, no! I start shaking, wondering how the fuck does this happen to anyone, ever! If I don't get it out, I'll gave to go to the ER again! How will I explain this to mum and dad when the bill comes?

"Did you get it? Need my help?" Grayson asks from the other side of the door and I use my fist to slam it on the door.

"NO, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! I'd be thanking God by now or at least laughing! Do you hear me laughing?!"

Realizing it's a futile attempt to do so on my own, I finally take Grayson's coat and get in the elevator, calling Shawn in sheer panic.

"Shawn, get your car and meet me at the front." I hear my voice crack and the panic seap through.

"Why? Are you okay? Did that ass do something to you?" Shawn keeps questioning as I close my eyes and shake my head.

"I'm in an elevator and I need to go to the ER. Will you come with me or not?!" My tone goes higher and I try to keep calm because I realize I'm not alone in the elevator.

"What happened?" Shawn presses and I can sense his worry and panic now too, mixing with mine.

"There was an accident with Grayson and I can't find it and I don't know what to do." Tears prick my eyes and I have to remind myself to take a deep breath.

"What? Jesus, Y/N, you're not making any sense." Shawn shouts and I roll my eyes at the phone.

"I have a condom lodged inside my vagina." I whisper shout into the speaker, biting my lower lip and the door opens with a PING, revealing a shocked Shawn on the other side.

***

"So, what seems to be a problem? Be clear and precise, please." The doctor says and I close my legs, further pressing them together. Shawn keeps his left arm folded over his chest, supporting the right elbow which allowed his right hand to rest on his chin. He tapped his fingers nervously against his lips, remaining quiet.

"The condom came off inside and I'm currently unable to locate it." I say in a hushed tone, terribly embarrassed by the whole incident. Just my luck to lose a condom inside of me at the same time as my virginity.

"Front or back?" The man asks, looking at me like he's baffled by the whole thing.

"Front! What do you think I am?!" My voice goes higher as I prop myself up to confront the doctor. Shawn places a hand on my left shoulder, squeezing it lightly as a show of support and I roll my eyes and lay back down.

"Sorry. I wasn't suggesting you're a prostitute or anything." The man begins to apologize and that's the moment I completely lose and tears fill my eyes. Shawn notices before I do, stepping in to help.

"Is there a female doctor or a nurse that can help us?" Shawn asks and I place a hand over the one he kept on my shoulder, overlapping them.

"I'm the best you can get at the moment." The man shrugs, asking me to spread my legs and despite the horrific discomfort of having Shawn there, I was also thankful for his presence. I still felt some pain and I just wanted everything to be done with and allow me to retreat into the safety of my own room where Shawn would preferably join me. But we don't always get what we want.

Once it was done, Shawn lead me to his car and helped me in, fastening my seat-belt as well.

"You know this might be the single most embarrassing moment of my entire pathetic existence." I state sadly, looking out the window with my mind attempting to block everything that happened today.

"How about we get out of here?" Shawn says and I look to him, unsure by what he meant.

"Like, get some food? Maybe Tim Horton's open?" I suggest, but Shawn waves my suggestion away.

"I mean, out of here. Canada! Maybe go to Boston?" Shawn turns to me, smirking and I shake my head at him.

"Is it bad enough that I have to flee the country?" I pull Grayson's coat lower to cover myself subconsciously, biting my lower lip. Shawn reaches out, letting his hand rest on my knee and I'm hyper-aware of the warmth it emits.

"I meant, college silly! I got my acceptance letter." He announces it like it's nothing, but I know he's probably ecstatic about it. Even though Shawn has every intention of playing music and chasing a career as an artist, he wanted a back up plan in case he fails and Harvard could offer him a good education in music and art. It's all he ever talks about and I'm beyond happy he got the dream to come true.

"We've been talking about it for years and this place is suffocating. Plus, Boston University has a good art program too!" Shawn keeps talking, convincing me to follow him to the States, but I never got my letter of acceptance. Not yet, at least.

"This is what you want to do, yeah?" I ask, turning to him with a wince and I notice his eyes darken once he hears the helpless yelp fall from my lips. Even so, he doesn't ask or patronize me about what happened. He just squeezes my knee a little tighter and meets my gaze with those brown eyes of his that had a comforting warmth I never saw in another man.

Shawn nods and I know my answer. I've always known the answer to that question. I just hope I get accepted or all this would have been for nothing. I'd be forced to stay and study here, trapped in this town alone and missing him like the heart misses a beat. I don't know what my life would be without Shawn in it. I don't even remember a life before him. My life is richer with him in it, that much I'm sure of.

"Well then. I can't let you have all the fun!"

***

"When I first held you in my arms, I knew you'd have to leave me one day." My father begins, seeing as my mother is stunned by the possibility of me leaving. Especially because I'd be leaving with Shawn.

"You're meant to do great things, I've always felt it. Every time I read something you wrote, it touched my very soul and every time I heard you sing or play the piano, I could see the happiness in your eyes. And I know you've always wanted to open your own cafe and whatever of these things you do, I'm sure you'll be brilliant as you always are. You have our full support to fly out of the nest, little birdie." As he finished, I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. They spill over, one after another in a waterfall of emotions and I know that despite this feeling, I am ready to do so. I am ready to fly and I'm not scared to fall. It's not the fall that kills you, it's the landing. With Shawn by my side, I'll surely land on my feet and not on my neck. He's always made sure of it.

***

I spent days waiting for that letter in the mail, running out every morning until four days in I found what I've been looking for. I rip it open, hurriedly taking its contents out to read.

"Dear Miss Y/L/N, congratulations! We are pleased to offer you..." I read it out loud, jumping up and down in excitement, my heart leaping inside my chest. To stop my giggles had become mission impossible as I ran across the street and to Shawn's home.

Yes, we're neighbors. Did I forget to mention that?

I don't bother knocking, rushing inside and heading upstairs until Aaliyah stops me.

"I wouldn't go up yet. He's tied up." She says and I stop, my excitement dissolving into the Earth.

"I can come back later." I muss, turning around to leave and she stops me again.

"Don't worry. He'll be down in about three minutes." She tells me and I raise an eyebrow, joining her in the living room. I sit by her side on the couch and lift my legs on the coffee table, watching what she has on.

"You haven't been around much. I missed you." She glances at me, but before I answer I realize there's a certain noise coming from upstairs. Bed creaking, moaning...and I understand what she meant.

"Oh, you meant he's actually tied up?!" I exclaim in disgust, feeling a wave of nausea coming up. We barely discussed Samantha anymore and Grayson didn't even come up. For a moment there, I had hope they ended things. Guess not.

"I don't like her. She's a real bitch." Aaliyah remarks and I lean forward, my mouth hyper-salivating. My stomach churns and I lose feeling in my legs, looking around panicked for something to help relieve the acid that's coming any second as Shawn seems to be.

"I'm gonna be sick." I manage to form words and my forehead is covered in cold sweat.

"I know! It's so gross." Aaliyah agrees and I shake my head.

Desperate, I grab a hold of my bag and open it, bawling my insides out as Shawn and Samantha turn quiet. I wiped my mouth and stand on shaky legs, refusing to stay any longer.

"Just...I gotta go!"

***

"I need something for nausea." I ask the woman behind the counter, still shaken up.

"I've been feeling sick for days." I add and she nods, smiling.

"Have you eaten something bad?" I shake my head.

"Any diarrhea?" I shake my head again.

"Fever?" She keeps asking and I remain true to my first answer.

"Missed a period?" And that's when my eyes widen. I was supposed to get my period day before the prom, but it never came.

"Oh, fuck!" I rest my elbows on the counter, feeling my head is spinning as the dizziness settles in. My breathing is fast and shallow and my hands form fists, face going numb.

The woman gives me a paper bag to breathe into and my mind finally clears a minute into it, body relaxing soon after.

"Think we need a few sticks." She helps me stand, guiding me to the bathroom and I follow silently, not bothering to wipe any tears off my face.

***

No matter how many pregnancy tests I took, I got a positive every time. Shawn and I are supposed to go in a day and I'm pregnant?! How can I raise a kid? I'm still a kid. I have dreams and desires and love...so much love for art and music and Shawn.

Most of all, Shawn.

I can't force myself to an abortion, because I don't have that in me. This thing is already a part of me and I know there are many people out there who want a child and can't have one. I can do that! Have the baby and give it up for adoption, join Shawn in six months or so! But he can never know. If he ever found out, I don't think I could handle him look at me any differently. Regardless of everything, things would change significantly and I was determined to keep this from him.

The only secret I ever kept from him had been the way he makes my heart flutter and skip a beat and this would be the second.

Lying I have some paperwork to prepare, I manage to convince him to go alone and scout Boston for us, promising to join him in two weeks time, a promise I couldn't keep. My parents were on board with me staying, glad I was willing to have the baby at all.

I drive him to the airport, singing along to an Ed Sheeran song, pretending like my heart doesn't ache for him and the future we could have had. The future we will have once I'm baby free. I find myself glancing his way, seeing his eternally handsome face and the way his lips move and eyes light up when he sings something he cares about. His hair is slightly growing, but I don't expect his curls to make an appearance despite my nagging. I liked his hair long, like it was when we were kids.

"You keep staring at me like you're gonna lose me or something." Shawn caught my stare as we waited for his flight and I press my lips together, pushing a small smile on my face for his benefit.

"I'll see you in two weeks! Isn't that the deal?" Shawn leans in, brushing his nose against mine and for a moment I was sure he would kiss me.

"I'll still miss you." I whisper, wrapping my arms around his neck and keeping his forehead pressed against mine.

"And I you." He exhales and I take in the minty fresh breath fanning my face. Yes, I smell his breath and yes, I enjoyed it! It's not weird!

"But you need to go." I keep my voice low, minimizing chances of it cracking and letting him know how badly our separation is tearing me up inside. I don't think we've ever been apart for so long.

"I'll count the hours until we see each other again." He says and I feel something break inside of me. A tearless sob escapes me and he cups my face, looking at me with worry.

"You've always been the brave one. The candle in darkness that shone my way home. I love you, Y/N." He had never been so...eloquent in expressing our connection and it only makes this goodbye harder.

Who is the genius that put GOOD in goodbye? Idiot.

"I love you too, Shawn." And I meant it.

Reluctantly, we part and he begins to walk away from me. I take him in completely. The pink hoodie he's wearing that I bought him for his sixteenth birthday, his guitar case, his tall form...all of it.

Just before he disappears around the corner, Shawn stops and looks back, smiling for me one last time.

And then he's gone.

***

"And you never told him?" Kayla asks and I nod sheepishly, playing with a pen. As it turns out, the woman behind the counter in the pharmacy was actually only five years my senior. I couldn't talk to my parents right now, because every time I tried I'd either get yelled at for getting pregnant or cried at in the most dramatic of ways for giving the child up for adoption. Neither was a win in my opinion.

"If I had, he'd never go. I couldn't be the reason to hold him back. Why ruin both our lives?" She leans on the counter, pursing her red lips, setting her questioning look at me.

"How noble of you." She remarks and I scoff, shaking my head. Noble...maybe. Selfishly driven? Definitely. I couldn't even imagine what Shawn would do if he knew I got knocked up. A small part of me hoped he'd offer to raise the baby with me or at least be by my side as the pregnancy takes its course and I give birth...I just want him to hold my hand and make me laugh with one of his weirdly genius dreams. But a bigger part of me believed he'd look at me different, maybe even decide that this is where we part ways.

Would he judge me for giving the baby up? It's an answer I'm terrified of finding.

"I'd have forced the bastard to stay." Kayla pokes my shoulder with the tip of her pen and I grunt, poking her back.

"He's not the father! I wish he is. Maybe then I'd have a lot less worries on my mind. Shawn would never do that to me." I sigh wistfully and cast my eyes down at my feet, serving as a signal for Kayla to let me be. But she's not the type.

"When you give the sucker up, you'll still be able to do whatever you want to do. Just six months later." She points out and I crack a smile, gnawing on the flesh of my left cheek.

"I always wanted to go to college with Shawn, graduate and come back to open a homey, cute cafe with live acts and play the piano from time to time myself. Just create a place I always needed as a kid, but never had. I'd get married at twenty eight and have kids by the age of thirty, be madly in love and beyond happy. It's what I planned to do before and I'm not sure it's possible anymore. Even if I do give this kid up, things will never be the same for me." I let my head fall on my forearm, feeling the jeans material roughly brush against my forehead. It's cooling for a moment, but annoying right after.

"You still need to tell him, hon. Sooner rather than later." Kayla notes, leaving me with my thoughts while she deals with customers.

But if I do go for adoption, Shawn doesn't have to know! Why tell him about something that won't affect us. I'll come up with an excuse and join him as soon as possible.

I'm in major denial.

***

Day 10 without Shawn had already turned into agony. He sent photos of his dorm and new roommates, cute little audios of him singing that melt my heart and excited texts about things he just has to show me when I arrive. What truly got me is the black and white photo of him on the couch with his head back on a cushion, looking up directly at the camera. His forehead is wrinkled and his eyes hold a piercing gaze. A gaze I died for over and over again the past few months. His lips are slightly parted and his hands folded over his chest, just under the big HARVARD letters on his new hoodie.

Tears well up in my eyes and a lump forms in my throat, a choked sob passing my lips despite my attempts to hold it in. I hold my breath to stop the next one, feeling the pressure in my chest and head grow. I miss him terribly and it only now settled in: I won't see him for the better part of the year and at a time I need him the most. I desperately need him and I can't let him know.

It's as if he knew when we parted. He said I'm looking at him like I'm going to lose him and I feel like I did. If this isn't how it feels to lose someone, I don't know what is. He's alive and well and it helps my heart keep beating, but I miss him all the time almost impossibly much.

If you love someone, let them go. Isn't that the saying? No one ever says what happens to those who are left behind.

***

I hated this state of silent lethargy, this waiting, I felt trapped. I wanted to zoom to winter, to early next year, to the birth. I wanted this baby out of me.

The stomach grew rapidly and my willingness to ignore it became impossible when I needed maternity clothes. I got the craziest food cravings, eating kilograms of tomatoes all in one sitting. I couldn't help but think how disgusted Shawn would be if he saw me eating raw tomatoes like my life depends on it. My mind likes to create imaginary scenarios of him by my side, grimacing as if its blood I'm consuming, fake gagging to mess with me all the while. I'd laugh and punch his shoulder playfully and he'd turn to the stomach and talk to the baby as if he's telling on me.

It's the only way I can cope.

There's an ache in my back as my entire body weight relies on it. My breasts are growing and hurt like a bitch and my legs are starting to swell around the ankles. Yet, I'm still faking my way through it, telling Shawn I had to stay behind due to some clerical mishap in college administrations. He still insisted I come and settle in, find a temporary job and get accustomed to Boston, trying to talk me into it every day since.

"I miss talking to you." He whines over the phone and I smile widely, resting a hand on my stomach. We talk every night before bed, text during the day and it still wasn't enough for either of us. We make sure to Face timee too, but I only do it when it's dark and I'm in bed, hiding my whale like physique from him as much as possible.

"Let me guess! You had a dream about being on a plane and you were the overhead compartment?" I cover my mouth to stifle a laugh, hearing him sigh and chuckle on the other line.

"Close! I had a dream you opened your cafe..." He trails off and I feel that growing pressure in my chest again. Hormones certainly don't help me hide how badly I wish he was here. "....And you had a vase of pink roses on the piano. The vase had my signature on it and a drawn star...I was the star! Just looking at you as you let your fingers dance along the keys and I was so happy. So, so happy to be so close to you Y/N."

The muffled sobs wracked against my chest as tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my temples and into my hair, drenching it with salty water of wishful thinking and anguish of missing someone so dear to your heart that it feel like you don't have a heart. It's as if he took it with him and I no longer feel whole. Physically, my body holds two hearts and still I feel empty without his beating through his chest and at my fingertips.

"Are you crying?" Shawn ends the dead air and I can easily detect his worry. It's almost palpable in his voice.

"I just miss you." I manage to croak out, letting the sobs take over and soon after I hear him sniffle.

"I miss you too."

***

"You okay, little birdie?" My father peaks in, my mother behind him.

I shake my head, wiping the tears away. It's always after talking to Shawn that they come and I didn't bother hiding it any longer.

"How can I help my girls?" Dad asks, resigned and as deflated as I am. Yes. It's a girl. Hearing her heartbeat and seeing her on the monitor had made her much more real. I've been struggling to understand what I'll do ever since. I'm three weeks away from my due date and it feels as if I'm torn in a hundred different directions. Only one leads to me Shawn and every other away from him.

"Ice cream could help." I mumble and my mother chuckles, already rushing out to grab it from the freezer and three spoons to feast on it with me. I sit on the couch and take my own container, resting it on my big, swollen belly. Full disclosure: the belly helps with holding any food I need, folding clothes, scrolling on your phone and reading a book. Plus, she likes it when I put something cold over her. Must be incredibly warm inside, especially with the heat turned up to high.

"How is Shawn doing?" Mum asks and I sigh, my lips involuntarily twitching up.

"He's good. Last we talked, he got a meeting with a music producer and if it goes well, he might get a record deal." I mussed, using my hands to vividly gesture how proud and happy I am for him. And I am. I really, really am.

"He's gonna make it big. I know he will." I finish, stuffing my face with more ice cream.

***

With each contraction came a pain that dominated my entire being. In those moments, for those seconds that stretched into infinity, there was nothing else. I could hear my mother and father screaming, the midwife arriving, yet I made no sound at all. When the pain passed it was only for a minute or so and I breathed with closed eyes, unwilling to re-engage with life outside of my own body. In and out, inhale and exhale. The baby needs air, I remind myself. I cannot scream and take the air from the baby. In and out, inhale and exhale.

The room might as well have been empty for all the awareness I had, and when they did talk, touch, gain my attention I found it so hard. To reply I had to find myself from the deepest recess of my own mind and drag myself forward, to use my voice, open my eyes. Mother dabbed my forehead to clear the overflowing sweat that came with every painful contraction and I could feel my own life hanging by a thread.

"I want Shawn here. I want him here." I mumble subconsciously, feeling a pinch on my forearm.

It's the midwife telling me that it's time, time to push. With a guttural grunt I do so and I'm told to stop, one was enough. I feel the baby crowning, the hot stretching of flesh and I hold my breath for just a moment to find strength to keep on pushing if I have to. Without any further effort the baby slid out and the room became quiet, a loud cry being the only sound. I exhale in relief, letting my head fall back on the pillow I used to lay on with Shawn. I laugh to myself, thinking I finally did it. I did it. I managed to do what I dreaded for the past nine months.

"Should I take her?" The midwife asks and I find my mind snap and despite my body still feeling mangled, I prop myself up and shout a clear NO.

"I want to hold her. I - can, I? Until they come for her?" I plead, looking for some mercy, a shred of humanity. Let me hold my baby. My girl. Blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh, the little heart that grew just below my chest.

"Of course." The midwife says, handing the little mush, cleaned and wrapped.

When did they do that? I probably blacked out.

I hold her to my chest, arms wrapped around her little, frail body and lean closer to rub her nose against my own. She opens her nascent eyes and looks around, getting to know the world and me...her mum. I am her mum.

"Sophie. My sweet little Sophie. I'm going to be a good mum to you. I promise." I whisper in the darkness of my room, making a decision at last. A decision that would lead me away from Shawn and I knew there was never anything else I'd choose. I love this child more than life itself. I can't live without her.

***

Crying, diapers, feeding and repeat. I don't even know what's sleep anymore. The past week had proved to be especially difficult, Sophie being inconsolable and I became the same way. Like tonight!

We've both been crying for over an hour. She's been colicky and I've been miserable. It an awful feeling to not be able to soothe your child and relieve her pain. But it's also awful not to hear a word from your best friend in the world for weeks. Sure, we text, but we barely ever talk. If Sophie is asleep, I'm passed out. If she's awake, I'm wrapped around her little finger.

Shawn wasn't really on the agenda.

"Please stop crying, Sophie. Please." I cry out, feeling my arms go numb as I rock her, walking around the room like a nut with my back aching.

I hear the door creak open, my dad coming in with a sympathetic expression on his face and I feel like a little kid just wanting her dad to hold her.

"My life is over, dad!" I cry again and he smiles, nodding to himself.

"Wait till you're a grandparent." He jokes, coming inside and Sophie starts to quiet down. I keep forgetting I'm not the only one kept awake with her tiny little wails that somehow sound through the entire house.

"Shh." I coo, silently thanking God for her sudden desire to sleep.

"You know, I still remember driving home with you when you were first born...You wouldn't stop crying the whole drive over and I kept panicking so hard I ran every red light and got stopped by the police. Thankfully, the officer had compassion and a similar experience and we got off with a warning, but it's terrifying being a parent. It is. You're always wondering if you're doing everything wrong." Dad admits and I soften, leaning my head on his shoulder. Sophie stirs slightly, relaxing against my chest and I sigh.

"You never told me that." I say quietly and dad exhales loudly, blowing air through his nose.

"You weren't part of the club." He replies fondly, rubbing my back.

Since that night, I had four major rules to survive parenthood:

1. Never breast feed in public! There are too many weirdos willing to snap a picture for their latest story.

2. Always burp Sophie after feeding. Colics are the enemy.

3. Try not to cry when she does. It does a number on your sanity.

4. Never assume there isn't trouble just around the corner.

I failed the last one.

"Oh, hey!" I freeze, silently praying this isn't happening. But it is.

Before me stands a very confused looking Samantha with her dirty blonde hair now platinum and her legs very exposed thanks to her unseasonable outfit.

Who wears short shorts in April in Canada?!

"Hi." I greet her timidly, wishing I had been on the look out to escape her as I've been with Shawn's parents the past...year? The entire pregnancy and these three months...yeah, sums up to a year. I couldn't have them telling Shawn...the same man I heard from once a week now and in a form of a text. Seems he's forgotten all about me, but I don't mind. Or so I tell people. And by people I mean my parents and Kayla.

"Is that yours?!" She lets out a thrilled string of words and I force myself to smile, nodding at her. She leans down to the stroller and all I can think is: DO NOT TOUCH MY BABY WITH THOSE HANDS! Who knows where they've been!

"So, who's the dad?!" She asks, still enthusiastic and I swallow back a string of words of my own, but words I don't want to utter around Sophie.

Before I can respond, she's screaming and pulling away and I realize Sophie grabbed a handful of her extensions and pulled on it. Good girl, Sophie!

"Ah! I've got to go." She runs off and I giggle to myself, thinking how I'm raising my daughter right already.

***

The doorbell rings unexpectedly, filling the house with chirping sounds of birds we've customized it to. It's the only sound Sophie tolerates enough not to wake up and I'm just happy to have found something that works.

Mum and dad have left for the weekend and I didn't expect any visitors. Regardless, I open the door without looking only to gasp loudly once I am faced with the person on the other side.

"Shawn! What are you doing here?" Panic is evident in my voice and he raises an eyebrow while casting me a dazzling smile in the process.

"Back for the weekend. Thought I'd surprise you. Missed my best friend...Which one sounds best to you?" He lists, licking his lips twice. He's nervous.

"I'll take all of them!" I chortle, the panic rising as I move and let him in. I hope Sophie is sound asleep.

"Like the new do", I point to his now slightly longer hair, the front of it styled back and a few curls forming in spite of it. I love those curls. Those curls are the main reason why I remained friends with him as a five year old kid. I even convinced him they have healing properties, so he'd keep them. It worked until the fifth grade or so.

"Thought I'd try something new." He smiles, setting his coat on the rack as I fight a mini heart attack once I notice Sophie's pet dinosaur. Flipping it under the couch, I see a lot more of baby clothes and stuffed animals around the room, kicking them out the way while Shawn talks about his flight and gets free of his Harvard hoodie too. Just as I hide the last toy behind me, Shawn turns around and takes a few steps forward. Stopping at the door frame, he leans on it, crossing one leg over the other and his left hand rests on his hip.

"You okay? You seem stressed." Shawn points out, making my heart jump at the suggestion.

"No, no. So, how's music? That record deal you were talking about?" I question and he presses his lips together, squinting at me.

"How do you find those breast pumps? Some women don't like them." He asks causally and I groan outwardly.

"Oh, they're a nightmare!" I clasp my mouth shut after, realizing my momster came out.

"Oh, God...How did you? Samantha." I ramble, sitting down, avoiding his gaze. I was too embarrassed to face him.

"Were you ever gonna tell me?" I feel him come closer, sitting by me. The couch dips under his weight and I slide toward him due to it. It's strange, feeling his presence after so long. It's blissful and magnetic, pulling me in until I'm caught in the horizon of his storm. He's always been my storm, the most beautiful and chaotic and loving storm; and I hoped I was his.

"I was. But I didn't want to hold you back and...truthfully, I was ashamed. I didn't know how you'd react and I didn't want us and our dreams to change. But they did and I couldn't accept it. Call it major denial and bargaining, lots of depression and anger and no acceptance." I lean my head on his shoulder because I can. I know he won't let my head fall. He would always lend me his shoulder to rest on. Even angry, he'd let me use him as my anchor.

"I'd never judge you. Now, I'm just mad as hell at myself for not knowing. How could I not know this? Sense it somehow? You've been off for so many months and I thought I was just imagining things...and you've been through this without me. Damn right I'd stay to help you!" Shawn's voice rises and a distant cry sounds from upstairs. I check on the monitor and sigh.

"It's Sophie. Wanna meet her?" I offer and he confirms with a shake of his head.

Shawn sang her one song and she fell asleep right after. One song!

I'm not jealous.

"She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." Shawn whispers and I place both hands on my hips upon resting her in the middle of my bed. Okay, I might be a little jealous.

I lay down on one side and Shawn takes the other, looking at her like she's the eight wonder of the world.

"She has your nose and lips." He musses softly and I caress her little cheek gently.

"And your ability to drive me crazy." I joke, getting a wide, full on Mendes smile in return that warmed my heart just as it used to.

"Grayson?"

"Mysteriously got an offer to work in Dubai the moment I told him." I reply and see Shawn's face contort in anger and he blows air through his nose forcefully.

"But I'm okay with it. He's not fit to be a father. I'm much better with her." I try to calm him down, getting a heavy sigh in return.

"Can I be her Godfather?" Shawn asks softly, peering over her and to me. For a moment I forget how to breathe. Why couldn't Shawn be the father and why can't we spend every night like this? It feels like we're a family. He feels right for me. And somehow in my heart I know I can't ever have that with him. Not only does he not feel the same way, but he's also got a life away from me. Just as I feared. Who would drop their future to raise someone else's kid? No sane human being.

"I'd love nothing more."

The next morning, we woke by each other's side. Sophie is in her crib, playing with her fingers and I rest easy, turning to Shawn. I reach out and take a single curl between my fingers, curling it again and smiling.

"Did it heal you?" He murmurs, startling me into a gasp.

"It helped." I move over and rest my head on his chest, nuzzling into him. His arms moves around me, encircling my back and he holds me close. His chin touches the top of my head, his breath fanning my hair.

It's how we stayed until he had to leave, two hours later.

"You'll call me when you get there?" I keep my arms steady around him, face hidden in his hoodie.

"When have I not?" He leaves a kiss atop my head and I sigh, tightening my hold on him as if to say I want you to stay. But I'd never say it out loud. Especially not now. Not when his dreams are so close he'd catch up with them before I see him again.

"And don't let Los Angeles change you." I move from him, placing my hand on his chest, right where his heart is. "In here." I add, blinking fast to keep the tears from forming.

"It's still going to be me, Y/N. The only difference is I won't be playing in my bedroom and only for you." Shawn cups my cheeks, leaning closer and for a moment I'm sure he's going for a kiss. I hope he's going for a kiss. However, a last minute change of heart occurs and his lips meet my forehead for a lasting kiss that I'd feel for hours after he leaves.

Not only will he leave Boston, but college too. He got signed by a record label in LA and it's the same one I sent his songs to. But I won't tell him that. I want him to believe it was destiny. His destiny.

I kissed his cheek, barely containing my tears. I let him hug me again, longer, and held back a sob. I watched him get into a cab, placing my hand on the glass to cover his on the other side of it and I watched the car drive away and take him from me again.

"Goodbye. I love you." I whisper to no one in particular, hoping the wind will carry this heart's desire to my love and let him know somewhere in his mind that I am forever changed by our shared lives. And I don't regret any of it.

***

4 years have passed and I've learned to live without Shawn. I got used to missing him and feeling incomplete, but being a mother left little time for me to ponder over a heartthrob that stole millions of hearts all around the world. Shawn had made it big and although that meant I got to see a lot less of him, I still adored the chance he'd been given. Two albums and a world tour later, Shawn's ready to publish his third and start a second world tour. I couldn't be more proud of him.

He would come home every year, spending time with me as much as possible. His parents loved me before and they love Sophie as if it were Shawn's kid. She even refers to them as her grandparents! It's no wonder we would spend Christmas together, but Shawn cancelled at the last minute. While the cancellation had left a bitter taste in my mouth, I couldn't make him feel guilty about being a success.

"Oh, Sophie will love this!" I look at the book, trying to ignore the little girl pulling on my sleeve. Groaning, I pick her up and set her on my lap and she claps her tiny little hands, giggling. She points to the screen and looks up to me in excitement and I smile widely.

"It's Shawnie!" She points out and squeals, causing Shawn to cackle and I to nuzzle her neck.

"Yeah. Wanna say something to Shawn, honey?" I bounce her on my lap and she nods timidly, looking back at the screen.

"I miss you Shawnie! Mummy cried for you." Sophie quiets down at the last bit and my eyes widen, looking at Shawn who visibly tensed with that information.

"I promise to visit soon, Soph. Go play with that pony I bought you!" Shawn exclaims, revealing her second gift. I didn't even realize he sent two.

Sophie leaps from my lap, jumping to the purple pony and tackles it to the ground. I make sure to point the camera for Shawn to see and enjoy the sound of his beautiful laugh filling every crevice of my mind.

"You'll spoil her." I scold him, feigning anger.

"Good. I want to!" Shawn gives me a crooked smile and I take in a deep breath, relishing in the way he looks now. It's been six months since I've hugged him and felt safe in his embrace. His curls are now long and on display, taunting me to the limit. He's grown a few inches too, like he needs to be any taller. His body is more toned and muscular and I can't help but notice just how much whenever he engulfs me in a hug and lifts me in his arms like I weigh nothing at all. But I also see the dark circles under his eyes and traces of make up he uses to cover them. I see the lines on his forehead deepen and how whenever he fakes a smile, his left eye twitches ever so slightly. It's hard to notice it unless you know him as well as I do. I know him better than I know myself. And I know he's stressed and going through a lot and I worry about him.

"Why were you crying, Y/N?" Shawn decides to be blunt and I didn't expect him to try anything other than that. It's who he is; honest and demanding honesty in return and I had never once lied to him...only when Sophie came along.

"Just releasing some pent up stress." I shrug, but Sophie couldn't let it be.

"This!" She turned a photo to the camera and I rub my forehead in exasperation. She's already so much like me and I love her more than anything, but I'd really like to have some things left private and she never lets me. Not when it comes to Shawn. I know she's got the photo of him standing behind me, hugging me from behind with his head on my left shoulder and face nuzzled in my neck. It's the most couple photo we've ever taken and it was on the same day he left for his first tour. It's when he said goodbye for a year.

"Thank you, Soph!" Shawn cocks his left eyebrow and I throw the photo to the couch, giving my daughter a glare she was too busy to notice. And by busy I mean she finds that pony more interesting than me.

"I missed you, alright? Is that such a crime?" I allowed silence to take over, only Sophie growling in the background being heard.

"When you talk, you wave your arms a lot. You gesture a lot. When you're happy I can tell from across the room just by that. But when you're sad all your gesturing goes away and you remain still. I know you. I know that. You're really sad." Shawn rests his chin on the palm of his hand and peers at me like he's trying to reach me through the screen.

"I got my own place. I work as a waitress. I have Kayla and I have Sophie, I have both your and my parents and I have you. But...Sophie asked me the D question and if you were her D and I just froze. I couldn't stop myself from crying." I admit, remembering how the hope in her eyes grew and I had to take it from her. I had to tell her Shawn is not her father, but he loves her like one. I had to explain her dad is far away and I had to lie that he sent her a card.

"Oh." Shawn's lips part, surprise taking over his face.

"Did you tell her I'm not?" He asks, running a hand through his messy curls and I nod, sheepishly confirming his thoughts.

"She took it well. I think." I say in a hushed tone, glancing at my very playful, but bright daughter. She's so smart and already connecting the dots better than I ever had at her age.

"Sometimes I wish I am...Her dad." Shawn lets his thoughts slip, unfiltered and as real as they get. I know he means it or he'd never let it pass his lips. Not even by accident.

"Me too."

***

Another two years have passed and I rushed Sophie to school after which my mother should pick her up for the night, allowing me a night with my current...I'd say boyfriend, but that's a lie. The last time he was over at the same time as Sophie, she wandered into my bedroom and caught the guy half dressed and asleep. She point blank asked him if he's her dad and the poor guy ran out disheveled and distressed, making me laugh until tears spilled from my eyes.

Shawn had been away on tour, supposed to come back in a few days to LA with his socialite girlfriend, Hailey. I felt he was a little unhappy with her after he complained she doesn't understand him, but it didn't seem as a big deal. He played it off.

However, I was going to meet him in Los Angeles this time around and I was determined to let him see what's really in his heart. A small, selfish part of me wanted him to leave her and profess his undying love for me, but a bigger part of me just wanted him happy. If she was his happy, I'd let him go. I promised myself.

"So, what did you tell Sophie?" Kayla asks, giving me a pointed look.

"That I'm going to visit uncle Shawn for a few days and that’s it. I have no expectations." I make it clear, but Kayla doesn't buy it. In the past six years, she's been a rock and she got to see me on the bottom and my climb up. She didn’t just see it, but helped me along the way as well.

"Good. Cause he's got a girlfriend." She reminds me and I let a chuckle pass my lips.

"Funny how her name never came up in the past year and suddenly she's all over the front pages with him." I know I'm reaching, but I keep hoping it's a fling. Shawn would have mentioned her to me before, not only now when I'm coming to meet him.

"Something must have triggered his sudden enthusiasm to see me. I mean he sent the ticket himself. And I know him better than anyone, so, I'm sure he needs me to judge something he can't." I take my overnight bag and throw it on my shoulder, giving Kayla a hug.

***

Shawn sent a car to pick me up at the airport and I couldn't hide my disappointment. I knew he had people stalking him on every corner, but I had hoped he'd show up in person. However, as soon as I step inside the car I find myself engulfed in a tight, bone crushing hug.

"I could have pepper sprayed you!" I mumble into his jacket, getting an honest laugh out of him.

"You didn't really think I'd let you come by a car?!" Shawn kisses my cheek, his arm going around me and his hand rests on my shoulder. Using said hand, he pulls me into his side and I lean into him. It's almost as if nothing changed.

"I hoped not." I smile, smelling something flowery. Opening my eyes, I slap his thigh and grab a bouquet he held in his other hand, kissing his cheek in excitement.

"You got me flowers! Oh, you, romantic soul! How lovely of you!" I tease him, but relent when he gives me an intense look that took my breath away. He reaches out, pushing back a few strands of my hair stuck to my face and I swallow thickly.

"You deserve all the flowers this world has to offer." And the sincerity in his voice makes my stomach turn and heart flutter. Instead of replying, I lean back into him, clutching the bouquet to my chest and enjoy the moment as it lasts.

"Where are we going?" I question, getting a wink in response. Shawn takes my hand in his and I knit my eyebrows together in genuine concern.

Two moments later, we're entering someone's mansion and Shawn grabs two drinks from a waiter walking the party with a tray. I examine the dark liquid, figuring those are shots and quirk an eyebrow at him. We never got drunk at the same time before.

"Bottoms up!" Shawn shouts, hoping to be louder than the music blaring and I hear him perfectly well.

Throwing my head back with the liquid burning its way down my throat, I grimace and shake my head, laughing loudly when Shawn paints his face a mixture of disgust and distaste. He grabs a whole tray of them and we take each one, starting to let loose and get with the rhythm. Shawn's body comes closer to mine and I feel each part of him as our bodies connect and mesh together to the beat of the song.

His hands are on my hips, gluing them to his and I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling the sweat rolling down. But I don't care. Instead, I let myself see where this goes, refusing to be bothered by how drunk we both are only twenty minutes into the party and most of all, refusing to acknowledge his bulge against my lower abdomen. In a way, my drunken mind had decided I had been the reason behind that bulge and a cocky smirk appeared on my lips.

I look up at him, seeing him look down with those brown orbs I adored and through his thick lashes. I watched his curls bounce on the top of his head, some of them getting stuck to his forehead with the sweat. Shawn kept his gaze on me, eyes darkening with each passing moment and I notice him lean in. And I don't step back. He's so close I can smell the alcohol on his breath, so close his curls are tickling my forehead. But I don't move away. Instead, I stand on my tip toes, relishing in the way his hands circled from my hips and to the small of my back, pressing me against his hard-on even more.

He licks his lips, moving in for a kiss and for a moment, time stands still. All I've ever wanted is about to unravel and the world stops moving before it begins to spin madly on. There's something familiar about this, almost tangible. Deja vu, if you will.

Just as we're about to touch lips, my breath hitches in my throat and I wait for him to close the distance. I wait for him to make the world stop spinning madly on and I wait for him to end my anticipation torture. A hand on his shoulder breaks his concentration and he's pulled off me by a friend excited to see him.

I look away, casting my eyes to the ground as I try to calm my frantic heartbeat and get a sense of what a normal breathing rhythm is.

"Wanna get out of here?" Shawn suddenly presses his lips against my ear and whispers, startling me. With a hand over my heart, I nod at him and take his hand, pulling him away from the crowd that would have swallowed him whole and taken him from me as they already have.

We find ourselves walking to the beach behind the mansion, just enjoying our time together in silence. He doesn't bring up what almost happened and neither do I, looking at my feet instead of his face. I wanted to kiss him, to feel him. I wanted a lot more, but he must have regretted it. He's with Hailey now. I'm not her.

"It's funny how you could have been here with me. Traveling the world, getting people off my back while having my back." Shawn says absentmindedly and I realize something. He's missed me too. He's had a fantasy of me working for him, with him, and holding his hand through this scary transformation too. And my heart aches; for him, for me and for the future we missed out on. Maybe we would have been together by now, or perhaps not. Thing is, I'll never know.

"I know. I don't regret Sophie though. She's the light of my life and if I had the chance to do it again, I wouldn't change a thing. It's funny how she reminds me of you more than Grayson. It's probably because I love you so much and pick up on every little thing she does that's remotely a Shawn thing." I smile, gently nudging him and he takes me into a side hug without a question. Such a natural reaction, one we always had. It's always been Shawn and I against the world. There was always us on one side and everyone on the other and I was glad to see it didn't change so many years later.

"I know." He kisses my temple gently.

"I had this dream. I was an ice cream cone." He continues and I nod.

"Why not the ice cream?" I joke and he stops, taking both my hands in his.

"You get it. You always understood." He says sadly, leading me down the coast as the sun slowly rose.

***

"Well this...this is...wow!" I couldn't string two words together at the pretentious dinner Hailey had prepared (most likely ordered) and I tried. I tried really hard. Shawn and I had slept the whole day away, still feeling the aftereffect of the numbing haze alcohol provided.

She's too nice. That's my first impression of her. Shawn's too uptight around her is my second one. I see through her smile, she doesn't like me. She tolerates me. This will be a long day.

"Thank you." She smiles that fake smile again and I return one, looking to Shawn sitting beside me and to Hailey’s brother sitting beside her.

"Champagne?" He asks and I nod, tilting my glass so he can fill it up, but Hailey shakes her head, grinning at Shawn who avoids her gaze as he does mine.

"May I ask, why?" I ask in disbelief, looking to Shawn more than her and she practically shoves the news down my throat, grabbing his hand to hold across the table and I zoom in on the rock on her ring finger.

"We're expecting!" My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up. It was as if the impact of the news had knocked every wisp of air from my lungs, and I sit there struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything.

"You didn't tell me, Shawn." I turn to him, frowning. It's the only reaction I could muster.

He opens his mouth to speak, ripping his hand from her clutches and accidentally spills the tomato sauce over the table. Hailey stands, screeching, ripping the table cloth with all the food clean from the table.

"It's just a fucking table!" Shawn shouts and I stay silent, stunned with the way his anger bubbled up to the surface and how his patience dwindled to nothing in a split second. He had never been like that, his fuse never quite so short.

"STOP SWEARING AND SAY FUDGE OR FRICK, JUST NOT FUCK! Get ready for the party." Hailey collects herself and leaves the room and I swallow thickly, seeing Shawn's shoulders fall and he turns to face my shocked expression. Instead of speaking, I take his hand and give it a squeeze, despite my wish to ask him about it. All of it.

We get ready, joining the opening of a gallery and I walk around, looking at the art. It's absurd and completely off point in my mind, but I have never been a professional. I didn't understand the art, nor the motives behind them. There wasn't a story, a feeling behind it. It didn't help that my own mixture of anger and disappointment have been stirring, waiting for a release. Shawn has Hailey on his arm, listening to her and obeying her demands to talk to certain celebrities and get certain photographers to take their pictures.

I scoff, rolling my eyes before slipping out of the party and just setting myself a path far from here.

"Wait! Where are you going?!" Shawn runs after me and I stop, turning back to face him as my insides scream to set him straight. I always thought his life made him happy and maybe it did. But he doesn't seem happy. Not with her and not while he's trapped with no way out. In his mind, there's no way out.

"I'm going home. To Toronto! It's too crazy for me to handle, Shawn. It's obvious I walked into something here and I don't want to be caught in the middle." I try to hide how upset I am, but it slips through the cracks and I know he detects them. He's an expert in it.

"No, it's fine. Hailey and I just need to talk things out." He justifies and I scoff.

"I'm glad you're fine, cause I'm not! You were out with me all night while your pregnant fiance stayed at home all alone, Shawn! You didn't even tell me! That's not alright." I cry out, flinching in surprise at the loud tone of my voice.

"It was just fun. We were having fun!"

"Oh, is that what I am? Just fun?!" I step closer, feeling my heart sink and Shawn drags a hand over his face in frustration.

"I wanted to see you! Christ, you're my best friend!" He exclaims and I take care to lower my voice.

"Or you wanted someone from your old life to come and tell you the truth?" I say it as a question, but it's not and he knows it.

"What truth?!" He shouts in defense and I step closer.

"You're a mess, Shawn. All of this is a big giant mess!" I exclaim and he steps closer as well, making me step back. I've never in my life felt the need to step back from Shawn. But the look on his face was too much for me to bear.

"Me? I'm a mess?!"

"And in denial!" I add, pointing at him.

"You're projecting!" He remarks and I shake my head, placing my hands on my head.

"Look, I was worried about you. Thought you might have it hard coming here." Shawn lowers his voice and I furrow my brows, lips parting.

"Hard?" I ask, waiting for an explanation.

"I mean, you've had it hard. And seeing where we live, our apartment and lifestyle, it's just.." Shawn begins and I raise a hand in mid air, palm opened and turned to him.

"You thought I'd be jealous of you?" I ask, my tone laced with disbelief.

"No." Shawn begins and I interject.

"I pity you, Shawn. All I see is someone compensating for a crap personal life by moving his way up the career ladder."

"Crap personal life? All right, let's see." Shawn puts his hand up and begins to count. "Um, stable relationship with a beautiful girlfriend who I have lots in common and a great circle of friends, a kid on the way who's gonna have TWO parents, by the way, not one!" Shawn emphasizes and something inside me just breaks open. My eyes and mouth are frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise and I see him regret his words instantly. Too little too late.

"Wait. I didn’t mean that, Y/N!" He frowns, breathing fast as I step back with hands raised in mock surrender.

"Forget it, Shawn. You know...I never thought of all the people you'd be the one to hurt me this bad. I guess friends can break your heart too." I move away and walk back, refusing to allow him to touch me at all.

"I didn't mean to...please don't hate me." He begs and I crack, turning to face him.

"I love you Shawn. I just don't like you anymore." I turn from him and continue walking, hearing a loud bang and a pained yelp coated in Shawn's rich vocal colors. But I don't turn to look at him anymore, feeling he had done his damage for the night.

***

I've been in a slump to say the least. Ever since I left Shawn in LA two weeks ago, his face had been on every damn corner of Toronto. Hell, it was more than just his face. His CK campaign had started and every inch of his body had been plastered on billboards. Me? I've tried hard to hide it from Sophie and myself as well. I felt this might be Hailey's influence, her wishes for him and his career over his own. I hope it was his choice. I didn't know if I should be happy he found the confidence to model underwear or feel angry at those who pushed him into it if he didn't want it himself. Maybe a little bit of both. Either way, he and I haven't been talking and I dug deep and thought about what he said. It prompted me into doing something rash and stupid, something I never thought would come to be.

"Hi."

I look up, blood draining from my face.

"What are you doing here?!" I hiss at a smiling Grayson, my hands forming fists and the only thing that stopped nails from making crescent marks on my palms was a rag I've been using to clean the counter.

"You sent me this." Grayson takes out a drawing Sophie did last week and I sigh, mentally facepalming. "And I got on the first flight here." He finishes and I swallow, counting to ten silently to calm myself.

"I did that on a whim, okay? Sophie drew the photo and the letter I sent was so you'd know she's a really happy little girl with an amazing eye for art...for a seven year old." I lean on the counter with my hands still in fists and rag inside them.

"But I'm her dad, Y/N! I want to know her." Grayson exclaims and I notice Kayla come closer with a tray of dirty dishes and a new order. She furrows her brows, flipping her blonde hair back and stays close enough to intervene should I need her. I love her for that.

"What makes you think you're qualified for that position, huh? Where were you when she was born? Where were you when she needed feeding, changing diapers or when she screamed bloody murder for a week because she had colics?" I list, my voice growing colder and more impatient to throw it all back in his face. He had left her; left us. He never asked about her nor sent her a gift. I'm sure he doesn't even know her date of birth. He didn't look back nor cared and I had one moment of weakness and sent a letter to show him his daughter is well after Shawn and I argued, and now I'm in this crap situation.

Grayson remains quiet, not showing any signs of my words angering him any way. He didn't stop my cold fury nor defended himself. He simply leaned on the counter and bore his hazel eyes into mine and I felt blood rush back in my cheeks under his alluring gaze. That same gaze is what got me in his bed and it's the same gaze that both ruined my life and changed it for better...It's why I have Sophie.

"Has anyone ever told you, you have the most amazing eyes?" Grayson says seductively. It makes me want to scream. Yes. Someone has. Shawn has. I scoff, shaking my head, snapping the rag against his shoulder before turning away from him.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?!" He steps around the counter, grabbing me by the elbow and turning me to face him gently. So gently I find my breath hitch in my throat and I need a moment to collect myself enough to look up at him.

"I know I screwed up. On the capital level and I hate that I did that. I hate that I bailed. There hasn't been a day these past years I haven't wondered about her. Is she like me? Does she have my eyes?" His voice softens and I groan lowly, swatting his arms away from me rapidly until he raises them in mock surrender.

"You're so full of shit." I add, moving around him and signalling Kayla to finish the order.

"Y/N, please! You've got to give me a chance." Grayson follows me, rushing to step in front of me. "Do I have to beg? I'll get on my hands and knees if that's what it takes." He says and I stare at him incredulously. He takes my silence as a positive answer and goes to get on his knees before I grab onto him and pull him up.

"If this were just me, I'd be kicking you out and let you find a ride back to the airport. But it's not just me." I take a deep breath, trying to ignore the small flutter inside my stomach when his lips curl upwards and a dazzling smile comes to show.

"You'd be right to. All I'm asking is one chance. You make the rules." Grayson reaches inside his jacket, taking out a red rose in the palm of his hand. It's just the flower, barely blossomed from a bud and I focus my eyes on it warily.

"One chance and I make the rules." I repeat, giving him the answer he wanted. Hopefully it won't turn out to be a mistake.

"Any mess ups and you're out. And you have to be nice! Not just average nice, I mean Christmas-Easter Bunny-Peter Parker and Captain America all rolled into one kind of nice!" He nods, but I'm not finished. "And you have to buy her the most expensive pair of pink shoes you can find!"

"I'm gonna go google them right now!"

***

"This is a man who let you go to the ER alone with a condom stuck in your vagina and that's AFTER not getting you to an orgasm." Kayla wipes the tables and we get a few looks from the nearby customers.

"He's her dad, Kay. You should see how her face lights up when he walks into the room. They've really bonded." I say with a cheerful tone, feeling light and happy for the first time in ages. Grayson had truly went beyond what I thought possible and proved he means to be there. At least for now. He's over every day early morning to take her to school and he's there waiting with lunch for the both of us. He remains until she's tucked into bed and I finish reading her a page from Shawn's gift and only then does he kiss my cheek and leave the house. He became dependable and I liked having someone to rely on.

"Let's be honest and admit it wouldn't really matter if he had a crap bod. He's hot and you devour him with your eyes every time he's anywhere near you." Kayla states and I blush instantly. She's right. Grayson had somehow become even more attractive than before and there's no denying it. He's 6 foot 3 and with muscles that are rock solid. His hair is cropped and deep brown, eyes hazel and his smile almost magical. He has a beauty mark right by his left eyebrow on the temple, making him more attractive in a way. And yes, I have allowed him to stay late last night, wanting to know him better as well. And yes, I liked what I heard. And yes, I drowned out my loneliness with his body against mine as he finally did what he didn't seven years ago, giving me the pleasure and satisfaction he should have back then. And yes, he stayed until morning and made us breakfast.

"How did you know? Is my hair that disheveled? I only had time for a shower!" I frown, looking myself over as Kayla's jaw drops and her mouth opens.

"You fucked him?" She asks in a hush tone, eyes wide. I smile timidly, nodding to confirm her thoughts and she throws a dish rag at me.

"You're evil, Y/N Y/L/N."

"I just want to belong to someone, Kay. It's been so long since I felt like I had a safe place to land and this feels right. We're a family!" I point out, unsure if I'm trying to convince her or myself. I know perfection isn't real anymore and soulmates are definitely only in fairy tales, so I'm ready to give up and settle. There's no such thing as a prince in shining armor that sweeps you off your feet and that's a fact. Grayson isn't the best option for me, but he's acceptable. He's reliable and he's here every day and I can't ignore that. He's here and Shawn isn't. Shawn is too busy with his career and Hailey and their glorious life together to care for me and Sophie and I have to let that go. I have to let him go.

***

Six months later I found myself standing in a small church with nerves making me jittery. I dressed in white, a long and simple dress with a veil and a bouquet of daffodils. Kayla, my mother and Shawn's mother all stood in a small circle around me, watching me shake my hands and tap my left foot against the wooden floor repeatedly.

"Shawn's on tour. If he wasn't he'd be here." His mother says and I nod, concentrating on a small blue flower ring Shawn sent through his mother. Something new and something blue. No note, no RSVP reply nor a single text. Just a ring.

"Are you ready, little birdie?" Dad comes in and I look up, smiling sweetly at him. Am I ready? No chance in hell. I feel like jumping out of my skin nervous and my eyes keep looking for a way out in utter desperation and fright and I just want Shawn here. I had dreamed of him showing up and stopping me from walking out there, taking my hand in his and leading me outside and away. But that's not real. It never was.

"Yeah." I say it with an exhale, hooking my arm with dad's and allow him to walk me down the aisle.

"Don't take this the wrong way love, but if there is any part of you, even the smallest part of you, that doesn't want to do this, even now. Say the word." He whispers as we are already mid walk and I frown, looking to him.

"Do you think this is a mistake?" I slow my walk and keep my voice low.

"I just want you to be happy." He responds and I swallow thickly, hoping to dissolve the lump in my throat. I plaster a wide smile on my face a blushing bride should have and proceed with the wedding, ignoring the doubt in my heart.

***

Caving in, I dial Shawn's home number once I saw news of him finishing his tour. Sophie had been asking for him and wanting to know if he got her, well our, present for his birthday since we had to mail it to his home and not while he's on tour.

"Hello." I hear Hailey's voice and roll my eyes on instinct.

"Hey. It's Y/N. Is Shawn home?" I ask, pressing my lips together and use the chance to lick them.

"Oh, you don't know?" She asks rhetorically and I furrow my brows. "Shawn and I broke up." She continues and I feel my heart drop and an uneasy feeling spreading inside my chest. All I want to know is how he feels.

"Oh. No, he didn't. When?" I know I shouldn't be asking her or prying for information, but I wanted, needed, to know.

"About a month ago. Pretty much the day of your wedding." She says and my eyes are swimming in tears. I end our conversation, dialing his cell immediately. The same day I got married and doubted my choice is the same day he ends things with his pregnant fiance? Something didn't feel right.

"What happened?" I don't bother with pleasantries and go straight to the point the very moment he picks up.

"Turns out she cheated and the baby isn't mine at all." Shawn replies without holding back and I cover my mouth with a shaky hand, my heart breaking for him. He knew why I called without an added explanation and he didn't hide the gory details after the original response.

"I'm so sorry, Shawn." I whisper into the phone, half an hour later. I hear Grayson snoring in the bedroom and rub my forehead in annoyance.

"It's alright. I wasn't ready to be a dad anyway. And you were right about her...and I...we weren't right together. I'm sorry for being such an ass and then freezing you out." He apologizes sincerely and I no longer delay my tears. I let them fall, sniffling quietly to not alert Shawn or Grayson, although I doubt he'd hear anything over his snores.

"I'm sure there's a reason behind all this, Shawn. It might seem bleak now, but there's always something left to love. Finish your tour and come back home. I miss you and Sophie misses you. Just come home, okay?" I keep my voice steady and use words I know would help him center himself. He might say he's okay and there's no part of him in pain, but I know him. I know he's miserable and lonely and he needs to hear it.

"I love you, Y/N." My heart skips a beat at those three simple words and I close my eyes shut to savor the moment. Those words sound different now, almost like they bear a weight of sorts. It's not the first time he's said them, but it's the first time I feel time stop when I heard them. Something is different. Something has changed. I just didn't know it yet.

"I love you too, Shawn. Always." And the call ends.

***

"So my parents left for a trip around the world, I have a nine year old nagging me about where babies come from. How fucked up is my life?" I vent to Kayla who chuckles, adding the money in the cash register so we can close the cafe up for the owner.

"Y/N?" An annoyingly familiar voice sounds and I turn to face the person behind it.

"Samantha." I acknowledge her and all her glam, a flicker of jealousy blooming inside my chest.

"Oh, you work here now?" She questions and I give her a tight lipped smile in return.

"And closing right now." I point out and she opens her mouth and frowns.

"Oh, I assumed you'd be open. I have a flight to catch in an hour. A new runway offer in LA." She doesn't waste an opportunity to brag and I physically have to stop myself from rolling my eyes at her. Instead, I place a hand on my hip and lean closer with a smile so fake my face started to ache.

"You better get a move on and hurry. Heard there's a traffic jam." I lie through my teeth, but her shocked face makes it clear she doesn't realize that.

"Oh, I will. Thank you!" She exclaims and I wave at her, letting the stupidest thing slip my lips.

"Maybe you can see Shawn when you're there." I already knew it's a mistake.

"Maybe I will."

***

The news came a little over a year later. A call in the middle of the day, but I knew it was fairly late in Europe. In my mind, I knew it couldn't be good. Mum wouldn't be calling so late if things were good.

"Mum? Oh, God. Oh!"

And the funeral absolutely broke me apart. The funeral was all black clothes and white waxy faces, every one of them with puffed red eyes. The sun shone brilliantly and the iridescent colour of the spring day under it's glare was offensively bright and cheerful. It was as if they conspired to show me how the world would go on without him. Everything should be as grey and foggy as my emotions, it should be cold and damp with silent air. But the birds still sang and the flowers still bloomed. I walked through the graveyard like a silhouette of myself, wishing I really was as insubstantial as the shadows so that my insides might not feel so mangled.

I noticed Shawn standing in the back during the burial, my eyes flickering to him every other minute. I needed reassurance he was real and not a figment of my imagination. I needed him here and I couldn't cope without him. Grayson took care of Sophie, but he didn't understand. He and dad never got along. Shawn did. Shawn understood on a deeper level. He too felt the pain.

When the coffin is covered in dirt and everyone walks away, I remain staring at the fresh soil and feel a silent despair. Struggling to hold back the grief, tears flow steadily, silently down immobile face, feel bruised inside, numbness, emptiness.

"When I heard the news, years fell away and I was once more just a fucked up kid who looked up to your dad." Shawn's warm voice brings back my senses and instead of getting lost in the moment I am pulled back to the surface, no longer drowning in grief.

"I never got to say goodbye." I wail and not a moment too soon, I find myself engulfed in a loving embrace. He rests his chin atop my head and his arms fold around me like it's the most natural thing in this world. There are no pretenses, just genuine love and caring we've had for each other for as long as I can remember. And I inhale him; his scent, his warmth and that way he sways me left to right in order to soothe any storms brewing inside like he can read my mind and sense them without a word on my behalf. I missed him. I always miss him, but until we get a moment alone like this, I never truly know just how much. It's a painful void left inside me, perhaps an old scar that aches all the time with periods of sharp and dull pain switching to remind me just how badly I need him in my life. Talking over the phone was helpful, but nowhere near the real thing.

"Hey! Hands off my woman!" Grayson comes back and he's not joking. I can tell. Shawn lets me go and I have to resist a shudder when Grayson puts a hand on my lower back. We've been distant and being with him never truly felt right for me. It looked picture perfect, but it wasn't what I wanted.

"I've been talking to your cousin and she's such a bore." Grayson slurs and I feel the stench of alcohol hit me. Refraining from grimacing or saying anything at all, I crane my neck to keep my nose away from the foul smell.

"Seriously?! You're drunk?!" Shawn didn't have my tolerance to Grayson's shit.

"It's a funeral. I needed to take the edge off." Grayson defends and I bite my lower lip, hoping they just stop. I couldn't handle them fighting.

"And what do you think Y/N needs? Did you think about that for a second?!" Shawn comes at him and I flinch, causing him to stop and his face to soften significantly.

"You know what? Fuck you!" Grayson flips him off and I can tell Shawn's barely holding himself back and I couldn't even begin to thank him for that.

"Thank you for turning up. I appreciate it." I tell Shawn, sending him a grateful smile and move Grayson away, slightly pushing him toward the cars. I look back to meet Shawn's gaze once more and my heart flutters despite being ridden with sorrow. And that was the last I've seen him until his wedding.

***

"I'm walking the coast of Mediterranean and I can't help but think about how proud I am of you, my little birdie. I am so proud of the woman you've become, of the mother you are to Sophie. What we talked about before can still be true. You can still be anything you want to be and I believe in you. Be brave and fly little birdie, don't be afraid of the landing. For my sake? Love, Dad." I begin to read quietly, a letter my dad sent from France, one that arrived this morning. I can't stop myself from sobbing and it draws Grayson's attention.

"It's the last letter my dad sent." I smile through tears, not bothering to wipe them off.

"Don't read that! It's morbid! I'm taking Sophie to school and leaving for that business trip I told you about. Love you." He kissed my temple and ran out, not looking back. Not even a glance my way. If it had been Shawn, he'd stay and cancel everything for the weekend. He'd read the letter with me and wipe my tears with his thumbs, drinking wine and reminding me of all the good times I had with my dad. We'd laugh and I'd no longer feel grief, but happiness. Happiness over having something left from my dad.

But Grayson isn't Shawn.

"Mum. I just read a letter dad sent and it inspired me. I think I'm ready to open my own cafe and the inheritance dad left is just enough to help me do just that. I wish he could be here to see me do it. I wish that so bad." I take a sip of wine and listen to her talk.

"I believe he's watching over us. He knows baby. But tell me something. Are you happy, Y/N? With Grayson?" She asks and I let out a heavy sigh. I lean back on the couch and look at the ceiling and that one crack running in the middle of it.

"I have my own place, a steady job and a beautiful daughter. Grayson, he, uh, tries. It's not much, but I've earned every little thing I have and I...I am proud of that. We're making it work. I am happy about that!" I'm avoiding her question and we both know it, but she lets it slide and I know she won't go into it again.

And I allowed myself to be in denial until I no longer could. Until Kayla overheard Grayson make plans with someone to meet up at a hotel only an hour away. When she told me, the first thought I had was: Good. I was relieved. I was genuinely relieved, but a small part of me caught on fire and I had to cut him loose. One chance is all he asked for and it was over.

I marched into the hotel and took matters into my own hands when I approached him and the woman he's with and tapped his shoulder. He turned around only to meet my fist after which I told him I want a divorce and left him alone to stop the bleeding.

I got home and packed his things, leaving them outside the house. I opened every drawer and every damn thing in his home office, finding something that he never wanted me to find.

"Y/N, you deserve someone who will love every part of you, especially your flaws, with every beat of his heart, someone to be there for you always and remind you why life is so beautiful. I know Sophie needs her dad and I don't want to intrude. So, if this is wrong, just ignore it and I'll never speak of it again. Grayson's not the man for you. Twice I let you slip through my fingers. Lets stop being afraid and take a chance. I know I can make you happy. Call me if you feel the same way. Love, Shawn."

I read the letter over and over again, my heart beating out of my chest as if it's trying to break the bony confines and run to Shawn and into his loving arms. I've always wanted him to say it, always longed for any sing that he feels the same way. I had my doubts, but never solid proof. Until now. My shaky fingers flip the letter over for a date, seeing the date is from the funeral day over a month ago. Damn you Grayson! Damn you!

Rushing over to the computer, I open Skype and press the call button impatiently. I tap my fingers on the table anxiously and wait for his face to show on the screen. But I find myself dizzy when someone else answers.

"Samantha?!" I couldn't hide my shock when she smiles and waves at me.

"What are you doing there?" I know I'm stumbling over my words, but I can't stop myself.

"I live here now! Oh look, it's Mendusy!" Just as she said that, I noticed Shawn coming up the stairs and turning to look at Samantha and the computer. He stops for a moment, almost stunned and I notice he's at a loss for words. Walking over, he looks uncomfortable, running a hand through his curls.

"Y/N?" His forehead wrinkles and I bite my lower lip to stop myself from losing it.

"Mendusy?" I say, feeling deflated and disappointment flooding every part of my being.

"Uh.." He rubs the back of his neck and I swallow the growing lump in my throat. It was a disappointing and somewhat worrisome thought about what was after all my destiny. Is it to spend my life alone and settling with any man willing to show me affection? I don't want that.

"Baby that thing we were talking about earlier?" She starts and I look to Shawn, finding it hard to speak or form coherent sentences.

"Oh, yeah...Uh..." He begins, but she interjects with an: "Ask her now."

"Well, Sam and I were hanging around and well, things happened. So, she organized everything and Brian couldn't come and I didn't want to ask Andrew or Justin and definitely not Grayson." Shawn started to ramble, gesturing vaguely with his hands and I started to lose my temper when SAMantha finally stopped the torture.

"We're getting married and Shawn wants you to be the best man!" The world started to grow distant, my mouth falling open and I looked solely to Shawn.

"I mean, you're a girl and all, but we want you here. I know it's fast, but we have to fit it in before Fashion week and this is all happening because of you, Y/N! You told me to look him up when I came here! It's all thanks to you!" And I swear the last light left inside me shut off and I became numb, robotic almost. I don't remember the ending of it all, just a lot of nodding on my behalf. I couldn't speak without it coming out as a cry and I couldn't move as my legs wouldn't work. He's getting married. To Samantha. The same Samantha he chose over me for prom. The same Samantha he lost his virginity with. And only a month after sending me a heart-wrenching admission of a long brewing love we've both felt and somehow forgot to be honest about.

Why did I never see his feelings before? Why did he never see mine?

***

"I love you! I do! Whenever something goes wrong in my life I just have to look at yours and I feel better already! It really puts things into perspective." Kayla rubs my back in circles and I shrug, pursing my lips.

"He proposed to her on a boat. Like Kate and Leo." I fold the letter and put it in my pocket, briefly looking to the sky and back to my almost renovated cafe just by the coast.

"Like Titanic. How appropriate." Kayla chuckles, but I just press my lips together.

"Look! Shawn's yours! He's always been yours and that", she points to the letter peaking from my front pocket, "Is just proof of ownership!"

"He wrote that months ago! And he's my best friend." I whine and she snaps, taking me by the shoulders a little too roughly and forces me to face her properly.

"I am your best friend. He has never been just a friend."

"We just keep missing each other. Life gets in the way and I am so tired of fighting it. We're just not meant to be." I part my lips and allow a heavy breath to leave in hopes of relieving the pressure inside my chest. It doesn't help.

"Okay. Let me rephrase this in a language you might understand. Iceberg meets boat. Boat goes BOOM and people die. It's tragic. Shawn is on the last lifeboat and in the freezing ocean there's you and Samantha. Do you really think he'd save her over you?"

***

After that, things moved quick. Sophie and her best friend Holden rush after me and Kayla through the airport and we just barely get to the plane in time.

"We kidnapping kids now?" Kayla remarks and I smile, looking over at Sophie and Holden who remind me so much of Shawn and I when we were younger.

"Where Sophie goes, I go." Holden says and I nod, raising my eyebrows at Kayla to stop messing with them.

I wore a rich purple dress with long sleeves and a slightly exposed bust, the bottom flowy and just above the knees. It was harder to run in the heels, but we had to get there before the wedding. I had to stop him from marrying her. He should at least know how I feel.

We come up to the church step as the huge wooden door flies open and a bunch of laughing and cheering people file out and form two lines with the middle open for a smiling Shawn and Samantha. The people throw flower petals and rice all over them, doves flying out from behind him. Fucking pigeons!

And that’s when my eyes meet his and I finally forgo any hope I had left. I can tell his eyes are chained to me as he moves toward me, but he doesn't touch me. He doesn't hug me. I think he can't. I think doing so would break us both, so he doesn't. He doesn't.

And that's how we're here again. Back at the beginning.

"Final word of warning! Shawn can handle his booze so much better than I. His eighteenth birthday was all shots and no water and he remained standing. But mine? You know how people say they got so drunk they can't remember a thing? I remember drinking, dancing and then cracking my skull on the ground! Nothing in between. Point is...choosing the person you want to spend your life with is one of the most important decisions you can ever make. Because choosing wrong can make your life grey. And sometimes...Sometimes you don't even notice and the years have gone by. We both know about that, Shawn."

I smile, allowing myself to get lost in his almost pained, tears filled light brown orbs and this moment only he and I share. Even in a room full of people, I feel only him.

"Your friendship has brought glorious technicolor to my life. It's been there in the darkest of times and served as my only light. And I am the luckiest person alive to have that gift; a lighthouse to show me my way home when even the stars stop shining. I hope I didn't take it for granted. I think maybe I did, because sometimes you don't see that the best thing that's ever happened to you is right there under your nose, waiting to be seen. But that's fine too. It really is."

I tilt my head slightly to the right and notice him shift in his seat as well. Always so in sync.

"Because I've realized that no matter where you are or what you're doing, or who you're with, I will always honestly, truly, completely love you." There's a slight crack in my voice, a shakiness that gives off how purely I feel for this one man.

"Like a sister loves a brother and a friend loves a friend." I add to stop Samantha from sending her death glares my way. "I'll always stand guard over your dreams, Shawn. No matter how weird or twisted they get. So, please, everybody, join me in a toast. To the bride and groom."

I raise my glass and take a sip of the content, swallowing my tears and hiding my open wounded, bleeding heart with a smile I've rehearsed in the bathroom just before giving the speech.

While everyone is dancing, I stand on one side of the room with a drink in my hand and observe. I see Shawn still sitting at the table while Samantha is dancing. I see Kayla found someone to dance with as well and Sophie is dancing with Holden. Everyone is so happy and I am miserable, like walking with a knife stuck inside your body and no one notices. No one knows.

I notice Sophie run past me, upset and Holden standing like she just punched a hole in his chest. I rush upstairs and after her, a hand latching itself onto mine. I turn, only to see Shawn.

"I saw Soph - " I start and he interjects, "I know. I'm coming with."

We find her on the roof, looking at the city in thought.

"What happened, sweetie."

"Holden kissed me." I look to Shawn who sits by her and takes her little hand in his.

"Is that such a bad thing?" He asks, glancing up at me and I blink a few times to stop a chance of a mutual stare.

"Yes. He's my friend." She reminds us and I fold my arms over my chest, feeling the slight breeze bring a chill down my spine.

"Look. I've been looking at you tonight and you're good together. You're a team." Shawn begins and Sophie shakes her head.

"It's weird! It's like you two kissing or something!" She exclaims and Shawn looks to me briefly and I feel my heart leap inside my chest. "I'll just tell him to forget it ever happened." Her defeated tone and words remind me of something I once told Shawn, except it was about my concussion, not a kiss!

"Wait. That would be a big mistake. If you reject him now, he's going to make it his life mission to go into the world and find the most perfect, beautiful girl out there just to try and get over you. He'll end up marrying this girl and spending the rest of his life with her. And he'll tell himself she's perfect and he'll convince himself that should be enough to make him happy, but she won't be you. She won't ever measure up." Shawn explains and I feel it's his heart spilling all the pent up pain from all the years and his words are meant for me just as much as they're meant for her.

It's his final confession, the last goodbye. It's his way of telling me: I love you and I hate that it has come to this, but I have to let you go.

Sophie runs out to find Holden and I sit by his side, letting him put his coat around me and an arm for additional warmth.

"Shawn?"

"I just realized tonight that you forgot. On your eighteenth birthday, about six tequila shots in...we kissed. And you feel off the stool and -" It finally makes sense. Oh, God!

"And I told you to forget it ever happened." I blurt out in disbelief. "And then you asked Samantha to the prom and I went with Grayson and..." I stop and let the silence befall us. We shared our vulnerabilities more readily than trading cards, interlocking our hearts as much as our fingers and we were all out of strength to speak any longer. We stayed there in silence that night, my head on his shoulder and his resting on mine, just staring into the distance in each other's arms.

***

"Oh honey, I'm so proud! Your very own cafe!" Mum hugged me, wiping a few tears away before her make up is ruined.

"I'm so happy." I tell her honestly, looking around.

It's painted a warm pink with seats being a stark black to match the piano set on the stage. The stage is made for poetry nights, karaoke, live acts and much more. I've made it so there's an area for smokers downstairs and non smokers upstairs. I made sure there's an array of pastries to order and a bar for after 9 pm. There's a garden outside, overlooking the shore. Above the bar is a motivational sign - 'Not all who wander are lost' and on the piano is a vase with Shawn's signature on it and a drawn on star next to it, pink roses inside. It's perfect and already filled with customers. I leave everything to Kayla, trusting her and my new staff to take care of everything and take a walk in the garden, stopping to enjoy the roses.

"I could use a good cup of tea."

I turn abruptly on my heel, knowing that voice better than my own.

"Uh. That can be arranged. Bag or no bag?" I ask, looking him over and his nervously slouched posture.

"No baggage." He replies and I take a step closer. “And just one cup.” He adds and my eyes flicker to his ring finger, finding it bare.

"I recommend a seat in the garden." My voice is slightly elated and I know Shawn can feel that.

"A seat in the garden it is." We walk side by side back to the cafe and I give him the seat not made for guests, but me. It's in the back and the view is spectacular. "

I've had the craziest dream on the ride here." He says and I take in how the sun falls perfectly on his face, lighting up his features and mixing his eyes into a light color of sweet honey.

"Let me guess! You were the engine?" I joke, noticing he didn't sit yet.

"No. I was me." He surprises me with his answer and even more when he steps closer to me.

"And you were you, as perfect as you are now. And we were standing right here, our hearts beating as one." He closes the distance and I'm standing flush against him, his left arm sneaking around me and pressing me closer to him.

"And I pushed you closer to me so you could feel my desperate heart and its song reserved only for you. All my songs are reserved only for you."

Slowly, inexorably, he presses his lips to mine. It’s soft and gentle and chaste and maybe there’s no fireworks or sparks, but it’s better than that – it’s a wave of warmth that fills me up entirely, spilling out from his heart to mine and the warmth of Shawn's lips on mine is rushing to every corner of my body. Every inch of me is saturated with love.

"I love you, Y/N Y/L/N and I don't want to wait any longer." He whispers, breaking the kiss and I smile against his lips.

"Love, Shawn. It's all I've ever had in my heart for you. I love you with all my heart."

"That's good, because this would have been awkward otherwise." He jokes and I bite his lower lip, pulling him in for a second his, determined to never let him slip through my fingers.

He is mine as I am his. It's always been true. Although we have wasted so much time, I know we'll never waste a single moment again. Never again.

Tags: @accalialionheart @xalayx @ourlittleshawnie @esoltis280 @fallinginlove-16 @justanothershawngirl

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